Time Machine- The BIG EVENT!

It's here!  It's here!  And now, your hosts...

Wayne:  Hi, everyone, and welcome to the BIG celebration! 500 overall music posts, the same week as the M10's third anniversary!

Elvis:  Yeah, an' I baked the cake, man!  What kinda show do we got here, shorty?

W:  'Shorty'?  Ahem, well, we have a lot of neat treats, including the mighty Reverse Beauty Contest, and...

E:  Hold on... 'Reverse' Beauty Contest'?  What's that mean?

W:  It means the lovely Laurie will be doing her Beauty Contest, with guys instead of girls, and...

E:  Guys?  Why would anybody wanna...

W: Um, girls look too, King...

E: Yeah, they look at ME....

W:  Yeah, but you didn't make LAURIE's list..

E: I'll have to have a talk with that crazy chick.  So who'd she pick?

W:  Well, she picked a top ten, then a final four, then a winner.  How about you intro the six gents that missed the second round?

E: Sure, gimme the list.  So here is the bottom six, in no particular order...

Andy Gibb- he was supposed to be the President of Time Machine this week, but he got crowded out by you 'n' me, Shorty.  Looks like he got crowded out here too, hah!

Andy Williams- What the hey?  All he ever does is do other people's songs...

W:  You and I have been known to do that too, Chubbo.  Anyway, next up is...

...Andy's Brother Barry.  You wouldn't think a man that rugged looking could hit those high notes!  Maybe it's the tight pants...

E:  Believe me, that ain't it... Who's this Mama's boy she's got next?

W:  That's Davy Jones from the Monkees.  Chris said she was a little uncomfortable about picking these younger boys, felt like she was 'cradle robbing'...

E:  No foolin...

W: But, King, this is a non-time continuity, she can be as young as they are when she picks them..

E: Non Time WHAT?  This stuff makes my head hurt...  So this next guy...

...this is Lionel Richie.  Sung with an outfit called the Commodores.  From Vanderbilt?

W:  Tuskegee, actually.  Next up, she had...

E: Hey, that's little Ricky Nelson!  How old is this Laurie chick, anyway?

W:  Does it matter?  Non-Time, remember?  So that's the ones that don't move forward.  Later, we'll reveal the top four, and see if our audience can figure out who her #1 was.  Next up, it's the Panel Picks.

E: Yeah, he couldn't find a lot of charts for 1955.  I think he was just lazy.  So he took two local charts, combined it with the Cashbox chart, the Billboard sales, jocks, and jukebox charts, and jammed them all together, and got a big freaking mess!

W:  What you MEAN, Elvis, is that it gave a total of 30 contestants, some of which were the same songs by multiple artists.  So rather than mess with the whole bunch, he suggested we give you the top ten, and let you guess who won from there!  You wanna start this off, Chubbo, or are you too busy loosening your belt?

E:  Me an' you are gonna come to words before this is all over.  Let me see that list.  Okay, here we go...

Number ten..

...Les Paul n' Mary Ford with Hummingbird.  The Chordettes also got a vote fer that one.

Number nine...

...Les Baxter an' his ugly dog with Unchained Melody...

W:  It's "and his orchestra", and his dog is cute!  Number eight is...

...Nat King Cole with A Blossom Fell!  I'm surprised Laurie didn't have him on her list...

E:  What is she, Gran'ma Moses?  Number seven is my good buddy...

... Frank Sinatra an' Learnin' The Blues!  Number six- AND Number four...

Mitch Miller at six...

...an' Johnny Desmond at 4 with Yella Rose A' Texas!

W:  Elvis, we are big idiots!  We are supposed to let the people guess who the top one is, and we've numbered off over half of them!

E: Aw, who gives a hang, Shorty?  'Ceptin' You...

W:  Okay, Ive had enough!  You think you're so big, I'll bet you I had bigger hits than you did when we were both on the charts!

E:  Hey, settle down now, lil' Shorty!  You know that ain't gonna come out good fer you...

Okay, guys, I was prepared for this, sorta.  I came up with a list of the times you were both on the chart at the same time, and who finished higher...

W:  Well, maybe I spoke too soon... but he's SO irritating...

I know what you mean...

E:  I tell ya what.  I'll give Shorty 10 spots a song, I bet I still beat him.  You man enough?

W:  (ULP) Uh, sure...

All right, let me gather up the list...

First time, no particular order:  Elvis' Burning Love;  Wayne's Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast.
Both songs, #1 on Cashbox.
E: A tie...
W: No, YOU gave me ten spots!  I won that one!
Wayne leads 1-0.  Next, Elvis, Devil In Disguise, Wayne, Danke Schoen.
Elvis #3, Wayne #12.  With Wayne's handicap, that's 2-0.
W: YEAH! YES YES YES!
Next, Elvis' Do The Clam, Wayne's Red Roses For a Blue Lady.
Elvis #16, Wayne #11- BUT that's old enough that CB combined it with Vic Dana's version.  I call that one a wash.
W: NO!  That's 3-0...
E: Clam up, Shorty, judge says it's no good.
Elvis, Burning Love again, Wayne, Can't You Hear The Song.
Elvis was #1, Wayne #40. 2-1.
W:  No!  That shouldn't count, he's using the same song twice...
E: Not my fault mine stayed on the chart longer... well, yeah it is..
Elvis, Crying In The Chapel, Wayne, I'll Be With You In Apple Blossom Time.
Elvis #4, Wayne #77.  2-2.
E: Did you EVEN try, Shorty?
Elvis, Bossa Nova Baby, Wayne, Shirl Girl.  Elvis #8, Wayne #74.
W: @#(&&%$!!
Elvis, Let Yourself Go...
W: He sure did...
...and Wayne, Dreams Of The Everyday Housewife.  Elvis #55, Wayne #58.  3-2 Wayne.
W: Whew!
Elvis, Separate Ways, Wayne, Anthem.  Elvis #15, Wayne, #45.  3-3.
Elivs, I'm Yours, Wayne, Remember When.  Elvis #9, Wayne, #87.  Elvis takes the lead.
E: Hey Shorty, 'Remember When' you were winnin'?
Elvis, the Tickle Me ep.  Wayne, Summer Wind.  Elvis #71, Wayne #86.
W: I protest!  His wasn't a single, it was three!
True that.  Wayne gets the judgment. 4-4.
E: Now, hold on, son...
Remember this moment the next time you decide to seduce one of my guests, big guy.  Elvis, One Broken Heart For Sale, Wayne, Heart.  Elvis #10, Wayne #52, even with it being combined with Kenny Chandler.  But since we voided the last time that happened, we have to do it again to be fair.  So it remains 4-4, and there's one pair left...
W: Here we go...
Elvis, Spinout, Wayne, Games That Lovers Play.  Elvis, #32, Wayne...
W: Come on, come on...
...#108.
E: HAH!  I win, shorty! Good match!
(Shake hands)

Now could you guys finish what you were doing... Oh, wait, you were screwing up weren't you?  So folks, here's the choices to vote on.  Pick from Pat Boone's Ain't That A Shame, Giselle McKenzie's Hard To Get, Bill Haley's Rock Around The Clock, and Boyd Bennett and the Rockets with Seventeen.  You guys think you can handle Laurie's Final Four?

W: Sure.  Let's see... she has...

...David Cassidy...

...David Gates from Bread...

E:  What, he makes samwiches?  Lemmee do the rest.

This here's Mike Love from the Beach Boys...

...an' that there is Mac Davis.  Bet I know which one she picked!


W: Not really fair, I think, to let bare chested men on her Beauty Contest when we can't have girls dressed like that on the real Beauty Contest...

E: Oh, you're just burnt cause you don' look good shirtless like me 'n' Mac...

W: Well, that's just because SOME of us have a little dignity...
Not to mention when you Google "Wayne Newton bare chested," the first bare chest pic you get is a teenaged Elvis...
E:  Hee hee..

W: How about we go to the debut on the M10 this week?

Sure.  I had a battle here for the #10 spot between two previous M10ers, but the winner goes to this act, who's been here twice before...





And now, boys, we better wrap this all up, we are running way long here!


W: So now it's time for your personal countdown, the M10, which I had a #3 hit on...

E: Yeah, well I was on the very First one, three years ago...

W: So now it's time to see who's on it now.

E: AND who was on it back in August of 2015!

W:  So you heard the song that's at #10 now... back then it was Angel Deradoorian with Expanding Flower Planet- which Chris cleverly used on the post announcing his upcoming  (and now almost 2) grandbaby, "Expanding Martin Planet".

E:  Back then, American Idol's Adam Lambert was at #9 with Ghost Town... now it's that foxy Star Kendrick and Geowulf with Sunday... fallin' a bunch to #9, 7 weeks on the chart.

W:  Back then. '60s stars the Cyrkle were at #8 with The Visit... this week we have Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears and Nature's Natural, down from 5 after 8 weeks.

E:  That name sounds like some ol' blues band from the hills, but they are BURNT!  At #7 back then was 16 Horsepower with Black Soul Choir... Now, number seven is another addict tune, Addiction by the band Player.  Say, this ain't becomin' a bad neighborhood, is it?

W: No, big buddy, it's a very good neighborhood.  Back then, it was a band called Saint Asonia with the tune Leaving Minnesota... now, it's ol' Gilbert O'Sullivan with The Same The Whole World Over... and it's same the next week over, two weeks at six.

E: And I was at #5 back then with If I Can Dream... an' this week Jim Croce slides to #5 with Lover's Cross.

W:  Three years ago, the number four was Weezer's Island In The Sun- I loved that video of the wedding!  This year, number four is Kidsmoke, 4's across the board with Patterns.

E:  At #3, NRBQ was Ridin' In My Car... this year, it's Dorothy with Ain't Our Time To Die, zoomin' up 7 notches with a bullet!

W: And in 2015 #2 was King Harvest with Vaea... now, it's ELO up 5 with Buildings Have Eyes!

E:  An' now, it's time for the Big Reveals!  Who wins the Reverse Beauty Contest?  Hand me the envelope, Shor... I mean, Wayne...

W:  Here ya go!

RIIIP  E: the winner is....

...the shirtless guy!  I told ya it would be!

At this point, I am legally required to read this; "I, Laurie Easterday, did NOT, despite appearances, pick Mac Davis because he wasn't wearing a shirt."

E: ...'but it helped'!  Haw Haw!

W: (Snickers...)  Three years ago the first M10 #1 was Status Quo's In The Army Now.  And the #1 on the M10- same as last week...

...the Jayhawks and Backwards Women!

E:  After leavin' me off the list, I think those guys was singin' about Laurie!

W:  Hey, that's not nice!  Chris, aren't you going to defend her?

I didn't make her list either...

E: Can't blame 'er there.  Lookit yer belly!

Compare it to you in '77, Chubbo...

W: Hey, let's give the winner of the Panel vote!  By a 197-192 score...

...Bill Haley and his Comets with Rock Around The Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that's it!  Thanks, guys!  And next week is a vacation week, no Time Machine, but an M10 update, so see ya then!



POSTSCRIPT:  In the buffet...

W:  Did you notice that Chris forgot to mark up one of your wins in our little contest?

E:  Yeah, but who cares?  It made it more exicting.  He can't count anyway.  I was lookin' over his shoulder- the M10 isn't three for another two weeks...

W:  Really?

E:  Yeah.  August 28th, 2015.  Poor $#!t's losin' his fool mind!

W:  Wow... maybe we should do somethin' nice for him...

E: HAH!  You see all the people he invited to this thing?  We already did somethin' nice for him- we didn't tell anyone...

W:  Yeah, I guess you're right.  Buy you a Pepsi?

E:  Sure, make it a Zero Sugar...

Wednesday Bible Study: History or prophesy?

This is one of those rare times that we will be hitting the meta-story (the big picture) rather than the tiny details.  We have come to the Prophet Nahum, and his 3:16 goes like this:

Nah 3:16  You increased your merchants more than the stars of the heavens. The locust spreads its wings and flies away. 

Now this obviously needs a bit of elucidation.  Nahum was prophesying over Assyria and its destruction.  Assyria had been, for centuries, a byword for cruelty.  Not until the days of Tamerlane 2,000 years later do we find such a nation so dedicated to the mass murder of others solely for the intimidation value.  But, you say, didn't God send Jonah to save the Assyrians in Nineveh?  Yes, and that legendary cruelty was what led a usually faithful prophet to hitch a ship going the other way.  But in Jonah's days- likely the mid 760's BC, Assyria was in major decline.  Weak kings, court leaders who were NOT Assyrian and WERE the power behind the throne- oh, and throw in a plague, a couple earthquakes, and a terrifying eclipse, and God had prepared that age's Assyrians for repentance.

But soon after, the kings became strong again and the empire returned to its former ways.  Now, my next question shows the wisdom of God.  By the time we get to Nahum, Assyria is again imploding, and all her enemies are at least ready to destroy her.  So why didn't they do that in Jonah's day?  A quick look around the Assyrian rogue's gallery shows Egypt was in a time of troubles herself, and being slowly conquered by a foreign, Nubian Dynasty; the Hittites and Mittani were no more; the Babylonians were also going through violent change, with the Chaldeans first making their presence known; and the Medes were still a bunch of mountainside goat-ropers.

Now, however, things had changed.  The Chaldean-Babylonian alliance had grown powerful;  the Medes had founded a powerful kingdom, and they and the Persians stood united; powerful barbarian tribes, the Cimmerians and Scythians, were moving in.  But all of these were but stormclouds on the horizon as Nahum spoke.  Or were they?


Historians out to disprove the Bible cite Nahum's description of Assyria's fall as SO accurate, it HAD to be written at the time of the events, and not as prophecy.  Let's take a look at some of that prophecy.

In verses 12 and 13, he says that their defensive fortresses fell "like ripe figs", and that the soldiers that defended them " are women in your midst."  He goes on to say that their gates are opened, their bars burned.  Then he moves on to taunting, which is still going on in our verse, deriding them for the futility of their resistance when the Lord decides, this time you fall:

Nah 3:14  Draw water for the siege; strengthen your forts; go into the clay; tread the mortar; take hold of the brick mold! 

Nah 3:15  There will the fire devour you; the sword will cut you off. It will devour you like the locust. Multiply yourselves like the locust; multiply like the grasshopper! 

The whole locust thing is a curious one.  You might see it translated in your Bibles as "cankerworms", "palmerworms", or even "larvae".  This is because, as one commentator explains, the locust was so destructive that Hebrew has TEN different words for them!  They include the four used in the book of Joel:

Joe 1:4  What the cutting locust left, the swarming locust has eaten. What the swarming locust left, the hopping locust has eaten, and what the hopping locust left, the destroying locust has eaten. 

One commentator explains that these are four life-cycle stages of the insect.  The cutting, or gnawing, is a larval stage without wings; the swarming- duh- is a reproductive stage; the hopping is more like the grasshoppers we know, with but limited flight- so they aren't going anywhere; and the destroying phase is when they take wing and find the next area to devastate.  In our story, we are at the hopping phase.  Their merchants HAD been the hoppers swarming over the nations, making the empire rich by debauching others; now, the wings are fully formed, the merchants flee away, and the empire is left with nothing.

Of course, the most telling verse is the last one of the chapter:

Nah 3:19  There is no easing your hurt; your wound is grievous. All who hear the news about you clap their hands over you. For upon whom has not come your unceasing evil? 

So how close DID Nahum come?  In 616 BC, Babylon marched upriver, taking city after city.  On their right came the Medes and Persians, who took Assur, the city for which they were named, in 614.  The Cimmerians and Scythians joined the alliance from the north.  In 612, Nineveh itself was sacked; the Medes burning it to the ground.  Those who were not slaughtered (and archaeologists found lots of unburied bodies in her ruins) fled away to the neighboring hills.

Nah 3:17  Your princes are like grasshoppers, your scribes like clouds of locusts settling on the fences in a day of cold-- when the sun rises, they fly away; no one knows where they are. 

Nah 3:18  Your shepherds are asleep, O king of Assyria; your nobles slumber. Your people are scattered on the mountains with none to gather them. 

The King, Sin-Shar-Ishkum, was killed; his brother fled away, begging the Egyptians for help.  This would be the Egypt of Necho, whom Josiah vainly tried to stop at Meggido and was killed.  The brother, now Ashur-Uballit II, took refuge in Harran, but the allies sacked Harran in 609.  He fled away again, met up with the Egyptians, and tried and failed to retake Harran.  The final battle between the two allied forces came at Carchemish in 605, where the rump Assyrian army ceased to exist, and Egypt limped away just years from falling herself.

So you might can see the historians' point; this seems like just a poetic recitation of events.  BUT...  we have some clues that it was not.  One of which lies in this verse:

Nah 3:8  Are you better than Thebes that sat by the Nile, with water around her, her rampart a sea, and water her wall? 

Nah 3:9  Cush was her strength; Egypt too, and that without limit; Put and the Libyans were her helpers. 

Nah 3:10  Yet she became an exile; she went into captivity; her infants were dashed in pieces at the head of every street; for her honored men lots were cast, and all her great men were bound in chains. 

Thebes, the Egyptian capital, fell in 664 BC.  What is not mentioned is that a new king, Psamtik, REBUILT Thebes in 656;  so the prophecy HAD to be between those years.  Also, unusual for recorded Prophets, he doesn't mention the King of Judah in his prophecy or text; and back then, that king would have been the evil Manasseh, which would have been a very good reason for God to ignore him.  So, based on the evidence in the prophecy, Nahum spoke a good 40 years before the events I described- and about 30 before the Medes and Persians had united enough to be a partner in the allied coalition!

So here are our takeaways from our verse:

1- God avenges and judges, in His time.  All of our "why doesn't He"s don't take into account that HE has the plan.

2- God gives us evidence that His Word is true.  The world will always seek to lie about it, but you just can't hide the truth.

The news from the middle of nowhere

So it's been a while since I did three posts finding news from 30 of the world's smallest countries.  Today, I thought I would switch it up to the "middle of nowhere" nations.  So how did I pick them?  I decided to go with the lowest population per square mile.  As I start this, I realize that isn't really a distance "middle of nowhere in all cases, but as each place outdoes the distance to the nearest city of 2 million that there is from Ft Wayne to either Chicago or Detroit (160 miles and change*), it works pretty good either way.  Keeping in mind that stat, and that Ft Wayne's per sq mi population is a solid 2,387- as well as the * which indicates there are a couple of exceptions upcoming- let's see if we can find fun news stories from places you have to really be loud to irritate your neighbor:


From low to higher...

1- Greenland

Population: 57K

PSM: .077 ( so you need about 13 miles to get 1 neighbor)

Distance to nearest 2 million pop city:  Liverpool, UK, 1,725 miles

Story:  Like before, I am finding as official a news site as I can and running with the lead story.  Curiously, that story in this case is a reprint from a Montreal paper about how Canadians feel about dealing with their indigenous populations.  Apparently the idea was how should Denmark (who nominally rules Greenland) deal with THEIR indigenous.  It did lead to a rather antagonistic comment on the article from someone who if I get the gist right, says the only thing that the Inuits of Greenland want from Denmark is to get the officials from the "corrupt " Siumut Party ( surprise surprise, the local Socialists) the hell out of power.  Bernie and Ocasia lose another district...


2- Falkland Islands

Pop:  3,058 (About one third of the attendance at a typical Komet game)

PSM:  .65  (so every 3 sq mi gets you 2 fellers)

Distance to nearest 2 mil city: Buenos Aires, Argentina, 1,188 miles


Story:  Since the stupidly picked fight with the UK in 1982, Argentina has been trying to identify 122 unknown soldiers.  Three were ID'ed this month, cutting the remainder down to 26.  One not publicly IDed to the world at the family's request, the other two a couple of teenagers. 


3- Mongolia

Pop: 2.9 million strewn across the Gobi Desert

PSM: 4.84 (so you could get a euchre game going in your typical mile)

Distance:  The city of Hohot, China, capital of China's "Inner Mongolia" province, is not far from the border, though it is 532 miles from the Mongolian capital, which is now called Ullanbattar, since Ulan Bator was too easy

Story:

So yeah, because we are in a desert, we actually have a flood going on.  Some 600 households were evacuated in the far west end of the nation, as the Ider River- described as "frozen 170–180 nights per year"- washes out of its banks.  Kinda the "Oceanfront property in Arizona" thing, yes?

Oh, and I forgot- I got that from the news site "go go Mongolia".  I can't make the stuff up fast enough.


4- Western Sahara

Pop: 604K

PSM:  5.88  (But why would you want to?)

Distance:  Rabat, Morocco, 765 miles

Story:  For those of you not in the know, this is a basically worthless chunk of land which its neighbors demanded that Spain give up the rule of.  When Franco died, new King Juan Carlos said, well, I don't want it, and pulled his rulers out.  Morocco and Mauritania fought over it until the Mauritanians Gibbs-slapped themselves; enough of a local party rose up to protest Moroccan occupation without being enough to get anybody to pay attention to them.  Currently, it is run more or less by Morocco on a nod-nod-wink-wink basis, with Algeria helping out and nobody still listening to the local party, which call the place the " Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic ".  So I go into this not expecting to find much...

But I actually did find something interesting.  The UN SecGen's personal envoy to Western Sahara has issued invitations to Morocco and the party local (called Polisaro) to meet on the fall to re-ignite talks that went belly up 6 years ago.  That envoy is one Horst Kohler, who used to be President of Germany, until he mentioned something about foreign deployment of German troops being beneficial to German foreign trade, which got him accused of "gunboat diplomacy" and he resigned in 2010.  Perhaps a little "gun-camel diplomacy" might help here...


5- Namibia

Pop: 2.4 million

PSM:  7.5 (Getting close to a bridge tourney, here)

Distance:  Cape Town, South Africa, just over 900 miles to the capital


Story:  So here we have a welfare program of sorts running into trouble.  Apparently they pick what they call "marginalized communities" that the government pays 9 companies to deliver care packages consisting of  "three 10kg (22 lb) bags of maize meal, three 750ml  (4 1/2 pints total) bottles of cooking oil, and three 400g (14 oz) of tinned fish per household of five."  The last contract ran from October till May, and in June the Government renewed the contracts without putting them up for bid.  Some people felt this might be because of the contacts these companies have IN the government;  the government pled that the bid process (which should have apparently started right after the old contract started) takes FIVE months, and they didn't want people to starve in the meantime.  The new contract runs through March of next year,  “after which by then all processes and procedures would be in place to ensure a more responsive procurement mode”.   Uh-huh.


BTW, while I learned that there are some 21,400 households receiving the goods, I don't see whether it's a once a year thing or what.  Doesn't sound like a lot over a year, but...


6- French Guiana

Pop: 262K, roughly the same as Ft Wayne

PSM: 7.5 (roughly one-three hundredth of FTW)

Distance:  To Belem, Brazil, 514 miles

Story:  "An area of ​​Balata district, nicknamed "Bottom Chiney", was today the scene of a violent brawl. A man was shot and stabbed. It would be retaliation after a fight that took place Saturday night.

According to our information, the injured man is Engénor Jean-Bart, already convicted by justice several times. Transported by his own means to the hospital, he would be hit on the neck.
• MORE DETAILS IN OUR NEXT EDITION"

Meanwhile, on the south side of Fort Wayne...


7- Australia

Pop: 23.9 million, go figure

PSM: 8 even.  Four-on four footy, anyone?

Distance:  Australia actually HAS two cities with 2 million+, Melbourne and Sydney.  The next nearest, Surabaya in Java, is 3,000 miles give or take from either.


Story: 

ONE of Australia’s top transport planners has said he can see a future where traffic jams are nothing but a quaint memory.

But there might be a “scary” price to pay for motorists, he has cautioned. You might have to give up control of your car to a transportation equivalent of Big Brother.

Niroshan Jeyarajah, a senior manager at Transport for NSW’s Transport Management Centre, made the bold prediction at this week’s Smart Infrastructure Summit, held in Sydney.

Control of vehicles could gradually pass from drivers to a centralised traffic control body, he said, in the same way planes are controlled by air traffic control. Your car would even need to ask permission to get on the road at all.

Are you kidding?  These guys are beating each other up over stores charging for gocery bags!  You think Joe Roo is gonna just pull over into a parking lot when Big Kanga comes over his radio and tells him to?

8- Iceland

Pop:  337K

PSM: 8.47

Distance:  Again from Liverpool, 971 miles

Story: Icelandic PM Katrín Jakobsdóttir visited Icelandic immigration sites from the early 19th century in North Dakota and Manitoba.

"And if you haf a Democrat Party back home, you can have these dead people vote, ya?"

9- Suriname

Pop:  568K

PSM: 8.67

Distance:  To Caracas, Venezuela (and why would you go there?) 872 miles

Story:  French Guiana's next door neighbor's news leads off with a story about the runoff elections in Mali- 3,640 miles away.  Which, given it is in the article, is as good a way to get Timbuktu into a story about "middle of nowhere places" as any.

10- Botswana

Pop: 2 million

PSM: 9.16 (Finally, a baseball team!)

Distance:  a measly 325 miles to Pretoria, South Africa

Story:  "Molepolole chief magistrate, Linah Oahile-Mokibe yesterday shocked multitudes that filled the courtroom to the rafters when she announced that Tebogo Ramantosha 28, the son to the deceased couple and younger brother, has confessed to the offence of killing his mother, father, and brother."  My only question here is, he confessed to her? The police?  Mean a lot more if it came in front of said packed court.

Well, one other question:  Mole-y-pole-ole-ee?  And was the killer named after a buy-one, get-one sale? 

Visiting my Church

No message today, just enjoying the church building God gave us...

All through the woods, the only squirrels I heard were way up THERE...

One of the two I saw last week.  About 30 feet apart, I just talked to her and she wagged her tail.

Remember a while back, when I saw the black squirrel playing with the brown one with a white tail?  I think I saw Junior down near the swamp- brown with white tail, cute as a button, and a hair too fast for the camera.  However, as you see from these next shots of a little Cardinal (who was pretty itchy), little guys are in vogue this month.

"Hey, I'm little too!"

After my walk, Scrappy got a trip to the Bark Park.  Praise to the Lord for He is good!

Time Machine co-ordinates VILIX49981077

For a change, I have many choices of lead-in, and this is the one I'm going with.  It was obviously a rainy day in Philadelphia, where it isn't always sunny, on August 10, 1977.  I say that because there was a doubleheader at Veteran's Stadium that day between the Phillies and the Montreal Expos- and they had not one, not two, but three rain delays.  The first two stopped the Game 1 1st inning for just over an hour; the second halted the third for 2 and a half hours.  The third came in Game 2 and stopped proceedings for another hour and a half- and the final out was recorded at 3:23 AM!  Game one featured Bake McBride going yard against Steve Rogers (who was NOT Captain America), and Game two saw Greg Luzinski hit 2 2-run HRs off Santo Alcala in the first and third innings, as the home town guys won both games- by the same 6-1 score.

Maybe if I hit 'em hard enough, the clouds will go away...

So here we are at the penultimate (which means one post before) Time Machine before the big party.  And there will be MORE baseball in a bit, along with two new debuts on the 156th week of the M10, and a winner on the Panel Picks that just missed lapping the field.  So get in the box and get ready to swing!  (That might have been more appropriate next week at the grand party, since we'll be back to 1955...)  Oh, and speaking of parties...

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...This week, I have a treat that I have been debating whether to save this for this week or next week, right up until this moment, but I kinda think Elvis and Wayne will have their hands full (likely with each other), so I'm gonna run it now.  I decided to go into the daunting task of doing a Dance Hits Countdown- the songs that actually were about a new dance with "instructions included"!  But y'know, it's hard to FIND such a list anywhere without them throwing in stuff like Bowie's Let's Dance which doesn't meet the requirement.  So I did the best I could on my own.  If you think of any more, put 'em in the comments- but remember, I want the SONG that goes with the dance.  Just naming "the Charleston" does you no good!  So I found 20 dances, ranked them by the US-UK combo MusicVF rankings, and here we go!


20- Let's Twist Again, Chubby Checker, 1961, 129 points.  Technically, this might be a no-no by my rules, but if you don't like it, then insert Mickey's Monkey by the Miracles (1963) here.

19- Hippie Hippie Shake, the Swinging Blue Jeans, 1963, 137 points.  Yeah, I know we know the Beatles doing it better, but they never released it.

18- Cool Jerk, The Capitols, 1966, 143 points.  Took me years to figure out what they said.

17- The Jerk, the Larks, 1964, 155 points.  Most of us would find this the perfect dance for our abilities, right?

16- The Stroll, the Diamonds, 1957, 164 points.

15- Monster Mash, Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt Kickers, 1973 release, 172 points.  One of two songs released more than once.  If I combined them, they would've ranked second (or third).

14- Bristol Stomp, the Dovells, 1961, 187 points.  One of my favorites.

13- The Loco-Motion, Grand Funk Railroad, 1974, 199 points.  If I really stretch I could combine this with another upcoming version and it would be the Top song!

12- The Wah-Watusi, the Orlons, 1962, 201 points.  Another of my faves.

11- Mashed Potato Time, Dee Dee Sharp, 1962, 205 points.  And here we will pause, and bring you the top ten in a bit.

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Debut #1 I have to thank KC for.  He introed me to the band Dorothy, led by Dorothy Martin, a couple weeks back.  And while I wasn't overwhelmed by his chosen song, I found one that really rips it.  At #10...






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Let me turn it over to the Starland Vocal Band to do the ... Nardole?  Where is the Starland Vocal Band?

Um, on the dance floor...

I knew I shouldn't have led with the dance thing...

Would you like me to hose down the floor...

For pities' sake, NO!  Just let them dance.  So after I cut the one-vote wonders, we'll be down to just three songs to vote on this week.  And here are those wonders...

English chick Tina Charles had an Aussie #1 with a disco tune called Dance Little Lady Dance.  It certainly beat last week's SSSSingle Bed...

Much better was Joe Tex's Ain't Gonna Bump With No Big Fat Woman, which peaked at #15 in June...

Rita Coolidge was a bit early, getting a vote for We're All Alone which won't chart till September.

Heatwave was at #68 on Cashbox with Boogie Nights.

Barry Manilow was on his way out at #24 with Looks Like We Made It.

Fleetwood Mac, too, at #23 with Don't Stop.

Ram Jam was at #18 with Black Betty.

Heart was at #13 with Barracuda, which I've never liked because it was hot when I got appendicitis.

Peter McCann was at #12 with Do You Wanna Make Love.

Barbra Streisand was at #5 with My Heart Belongs To Me.

And the #2 was Alan O'Day's Undercover Angel.

Rough week for the Cashbox top ten- in addition to our 6D victim, the Panel ignored #6 (Rita Coolidge's Higher And Higher), #8 (the Commodores' Easy), #9 (Bay City Rollers' You Made Me Believe In Magic), and #10 (Sean Cassidy's Da Doo Ron Ron, which they may have had a point on).


So that leaves us with your three choices this week:

The Emotions and Best Of My Love, CB's #3;
Andy Gibb's I Just Wanna Be Your Everything at Numero Uno;
and Peter Frampton's I'm In You, at #7.

One got 15 votes, the other two got five- and the rest of the field got 11.  Who do you pick?

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The rest of the Dance Song Countdown!

10- Slow Twistin', Chubby and Dee Dee, 1962, 206 points.  If you're diggin' Chubby-mania, you'll love...

9- Limbo Rock, Chubby Checker, 1962, 226 points.  Another fave for me.

8- Monster Mash, 1963 version, 230 points.  Think I've heard that before.

7- The Twist, you know who, first release in 1960, 239 points.  Combined with its next appearance, it woulda beat the two Monster Mashes by 101 points... but just under the two Loco-Motions.

6- Peppermint Twist, Joey Dee and the Starlighters, 1961, 240 points.  I woulda loved to have added the #1 on the M10 version by Sweet, but alas they only released it in Australia.

5- Pony Time, Chubby Checker, 1961, 253 points.  Boogity boogity boogity boogity shoo!

4- The Twist, second time around in 1962, 264 points.  Who the heck is still ahead of this juggernaut???  Chubby's racked up over a thousand points here...

3- Disco Duck, Rick Dees and his Cast of Idiots, 1976, 275 points.  Seriously?

2- The Hustle, Van McCoy, 1975, 326 points.  And at the top...

1- The Loco-Motion, Little Eva, 1961, 331 points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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So one of my favorite summer pasttimes back then was watching Mel Allen doing This Week In Baseball.  The distinctive "Dah Dah, Dah Dah.." theme at the beginning was called Jet Set, and was composed by one Mike Vickers.  He was a guitarist and woodwinder on the original Manfred Mann band, and also scored a cheesy blacksploitation film in '72 called Dracula AD 1972.  More original music on this timeless classic was by a band called Stoneground.  Stoneground was a second choice after the Faces cancelled, and included a drummer by the name of Steve Price.  And he was better known as the drummer for Pablo Cruise, who had the #4 song with no Panel Love, Whatcha Gonna Do.

"How ABOUT that!"

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Almost forgot the most important part of the show!  This year is the 25th anniversary for the ELO lp Secret Messages.  This album was intended by Jeff Lynne to be a double, but the record company shat on that.  Most of the tunage that got cut has been released here and there, but to celebrate the anniversary, Lynne is re-releasing the lp in its original intended form.  And as I snuck through that which I didn't know, I found this gem, and it debuts at #7...




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Stat Pack time!

I was much better this week on the hometown charts- 67 of 100 known as against 13 of 50 on the UK charts.

The UK topper was Donna Summer's I Feel Love; the only Panel song on their list was We're All Alone at #6.

The big mover was quite the contest- there was 1 17-spot mover, FIVE that went up 15, and Best Of My Love cleared 11 to get to #3!  BUT the biggest move was a tie just two spots apart at 18 spots jumped.  From 54 to 36 went The Brothers Johnson and Strawberry Letter 23, and from 56 to 38 went Foreigner's Cold As Ice.

The #77 in '77 was Kenny Loggins' very first single, I Believe In Love. It crashed out at 66 on Billboard, from the lp Celebrate Me Home.

And the #101 was Charlie Pride's I'll Be Leaving Alone.  Well, be that way!


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The remaining M10:

Caroline Rose pulls into 11th all time with a week at #9 for More Of The Same.

Player moves up a pair with Addiction.  Geez, Player, ELO, Gilbert O'Sullivan, and Jim Croce ALL on the chart?  What year is this, anyway?


Speaking of Gilbert, he moves up a notch to #6 with The Same The Whole World Over.

Black Joe Lewis slips another couple to #5 with the former top dog Nature's Natural.

Another pair of one-spot-up songs next- Kidsmoke to #4 with Patterns, Croce to #3 with Lover's Cross.

Geowulf slips one after a single week at the top with Sunday.


Which means the new #1 is....

The Jayhawks with Backwards Women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Had it not been for Caroline Rose, this would have been their third trip to the top...

And the Panel winner?

...Andy Gibb and I Just Wanna Be Your Panel Winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I can't guarantee I can fit him in as a guest next week, because- ELVIS!  NEWTON!  the Reverse Beauty Contest!  You've been waiting for it... it's here NEXT WEEK!

Wednesday Bible Study- the mighty but

This week is a very simple read, hinging around one great, mighty word...

...BUT.


We move past Hoshea, who has a short 3rd chapter, and hit the Prophet Joel.  Joel is a book that has always echoed with me, and precisely what comes in the first part of this chapter.  I learned my early eschatology from Hal Lindsey and The Late Great Planet Earth, and I still feel he was dead on in many places.  It was here I learned the harrowing prophecies of Armageddon from Joel.


Joel 3:9  Proclaim this among the nations: Consecrate for war; stir up the mighty men. Let all the men of war draw near; let them come up. 
Joel 3:10  Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruning hooks into spears; let the weak say, "I am a warrior." 
Joel 3:11  Hasten and come, all you surrounding nations, and gather yourselves there. Bring down your warriors, O LORD. 
Joel 3:12  Let the nations stir themselves up and come up to the Valley of Jehoshaphat; for there I will sit to judge all the surrounding nations. 
Joel 3:13  Put in the sickle, for the harvest is ripe. Go in, tread, for the winepress is full. The vats overflow, for their evil is great. 
Joel 3:14  Multitudes, multitudes, in the valley of decision! For the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision. 
Joel 3:15  The sun and the moon are darkened, and the stars withdraw their shining. 

So here in a nutshell is the prophesied final battle.  Note in 3:9, let ALL the men of war come near.  Here, I am going to inflict some opinion, take it for what it's worth.  From my Lindseyan perspective, this is the world situation:  If you have read Revelation, most of the judgments have been poured out on the earth; the battle will be the final one.  Lindsay believed that, prior to this point, Russia ("Gog") and her Arab allies have invaded Israel and were miraculously destroyed.  I won't vouch for the timeline, or if it is really a separate attack.  I believe that the United States is already knocked out of the game, in Revelation's prophecy on Babylon in chapter 18 and Ezekiel on Tyre in chapter 27.  Read them on your own, and tell me how the cities described are not a perfect picture of this nation.  However, keep in mind they were once perfect pictures of Tyre and Babylon, so that proves nothing (other than the destruction earned for living that way).

At this point, according to Revelation, the demons three dry up the Euphrates for the 200 million man (seemingly) Chinese Army to pour in.  Everyone left is allied to the Anti-Christ at this point.  So the armies of all the world are in "the Valley of Decision".  Lindsay thought it appropriate to quote Napoleon on this- that upon looking at the Meggido valley, he said all the armies of the earth could maneuver there.

Now you look at 3:12- "...for there I will sit to judge ..."  And who is the Judge?  None other than Jesus.  And I point that out not only to link the chapter to Revelation, but to use on a later point.  If 13-15 don't give you the chills, I don't know what will.  The armies of man are fully gathered, drawn in like a wild beast by God's "hook in his mouth" (see Ezekiel 38 and Isaiah 37), to be destroyed- though they believe they will be extinguishing Israel and overthrowing Christ Himself.  And that brings us to our verse- which once again is the hinge verse of the whole section:

Joel 3:16  The LORD roars from Zion, and utters his voice from Jerusalem, and the heavens and the earth quake. But the LORD is a refuge to his people, a stronghold to the people of Israel. 

That point I referenced earlier:  One of the commentators basically said it was unknown whether Jehovah would be roaring " either from His Throne aloft “in the air” above the holy city, or from the heavenly Jerusalem, out of the midst of the tens of thousands of His holy angels, who shall “come with Him.” "  I personally don't think this has anything to do with His Heavenly throne or city; for Jesus promised to return to us as He left, cleaving the Mount Of Olives in two when His feet touch (Zechariah 14:4), and will be judging them physically and personally.

But then, after the supreme destruction of the madmen rebelling against Him, the "but" comes in...

Joel 3:17  "So you shall know that I am the LORD your God, who dwells in Zion, my holy mountain. And Jerusalem shall be holy, and strangers shall never again pass through it. 

Joel 3:18  "And in that day the mountains shall drip sweet wine, and the hills shall flow with milk, and all the streambeds of Judah shall flow with water; and a fountain shall come forth from the house of the LORD and water the Valley of Shittim. 

Joel 3:19  "Egypt shall become a desolation and Edom a desolate wilderness, for the violence done to the people of Judah, because they have shed innocent blood in their land. 

Joel 3:20  But Judah shall be inhabited forever, and Jerusalem to all generations. 

Joel 3:21  I will avenge their blood, blood I have not avenged, for the LORD dwells in Zion." 

This, after all the trials, is where all the promises are fulfilled.  All the pain and persecution Israel has went through for her disbelief is now over- and the Lord DWELLS in Zion, on the physical earth.

This may well be a far-future event; the same people who thought the world would end in Y2K  had forefathers in 1000 AD.  But read the chapters I referenced in Ezekiel and Revelation on your own.  See a perfect picture of the world we are NOW living in.  You may have time- do you want to risk it?

MWN: Mixed up pics #3

Well, here we are with another fun look at what otherwise would be hateful, partisan news stories from reporters who would rather glorify themselves and their opinions than give us something useful to learn.  That's right, you can covertly disrespect the media across the planet just by checking out these posts!  So let's see what Chris can find this time!


1- FoxNews

The picture...

The headline...


Creepy Crawlers: New invasive 'aggressive biter' tick spreads across US, sparks concern


Actually Antifa members arrested in Berkeley (If you can believe that)... But since they are useless, harmful parasites I would venture that it works....





2- FoxNews part two


The picture...

The headline...


Candace Owens, Charlie Kirk describe being attacked by liberal mob

Wait, weren't the idiots that went after them masked?  Oh, this was the afterparty....






3- CNN


The picture...

The headline...


This is where you should go on safari


I'll guarantee you'll have a hot time...





4- CNN the second


The picture...

The headline....


That time when your life resembled 'The Office'



Which is why I never want to be in management.







5- BBC

The picture...

The headline...


Robert Redford:  10 Greatest film roles



Here he was in How Green Was My Valley, the 1968 remake...








6- BBC doubled


The picture...

The headline...



Can Italy trust this man?




Looks a bit shady to me...  Maybe it's the yarmulke...




7- Moscow Times 




The picture....

The headline....


Blowing Your Top the Russian Way




Every week I seem to find fat Russian guys getting wet in public... Me, I'd just as soon break something.




8- Xinhua 


The picture...

The headline....


Shanghai maintenance staff of railways remain at their posts in heat



What a happy, gaily attired group of workers they are!  The Revolution lives!



Annnnnnd....



9- Deutsche Welle


The picture...

The headline...

German supermarket selling customers time in its cold-storage room as a way to beat the heat



And when they say, "cold", they aren't farfagnugening...