Martin World News

 

Well, I was well off and nearly done with this post when the stupid thing decided to nearly completely delete itself.... and I got mad and deleted the rest.  But I am going to calm down and try again, because I love you all.

The FoxNews story I had focused on this poor gentleman...

71- year old Julian Foulkes, a retired constable who was arrested for a comment made on a pro-Palestinian post un the UK...

"One step away from storming Heathrow looking for Jewish arrivals…" 

For this post, he was questioned, accused of having a "very Brexit-y" bookshelf, suspected of possible terrorism because his wife (a hairdresser) had a shopping list including "items like bleach, tin foil and gloves", had his electronic devices seized, and taken to jail- before they finally "apologized" and cleared him.  I then editorialized that those of you that want to accuse President Trump of being a "Nazi", you don't know what the word means.  In England, Julian Foulkes does.

Then I went to CNN, who continued their tradition of inflammatory and unintelligent editorials with one titled, In China, some see the ghost of Mao as Trump upends America and the world.  First he's Hitler, now he's Mao, why not, I went on, Stalin, or Genghis Khan, or, John Wayne Gacy?  Then I provided evidence on a par with what all CNN provides...

...of a deal between Trump and Lucretia Borgia.

I then went to Australia's NewsAU, where I found the not-so- amusing tale of one Marc Smith, who was one of two men who called in a report about a disputed boat- but the 000 (Americans, think 911) operator innocently misspelled his name Mark, which matched the name of a fugitive bail jumper.  Marc tried to point out the error- and the cops didn't listen.  The fingerprints they took from him didn't match the Mark Smith who was at large, but the cops didn't pay attention.  So he spent a night in jail, and in the morning a somewhat more intelligent magistrate figured out they had the wrong man.  Skip ahead 3 months, when Marc went to the cops for assistance in a matter.  The desk man misspelled the name again, up pops a red flag- complete with a picture of MARK Smith, which he apparently ignored- and back to jail he went.  I then suggested that he might want to changed to a more distinctive name- like Beauregard.

Next, I went to the Moscow Times, where we find Andrei Kartapolov, chair of the State Duma’s defense committee, deriding Trump (who else?) for a comment he made that the Allies in WWII were "nowhere near" beating Hitler when the US was drug into the war.  “I’m not bothered by Trump because it seems he’s weak in history. And self-promotion using others’ victories is a sign of weakness,” was his comment.  Weak in history, you say?  Let's go to the film...

All that colored area, Andrei?  That's where the Germans were at in December of 1941, and the little arrows tell you they were advancing in every direction.  England didn't even HAVE a front.  Someone WAS weak in history, but that's what you get from Soviet-era revisionist history courses at Moscow U.

At this point, I was ready for a closer, and none of my regular stops were helping me out.  Then, I went to Russia's Pravda, and that's where it all fell apart.  I found this story:

Naked Man Falls out of Window of His Apartment, Lands on AC

In which a rather beefy, stark naked, and fairly intoxicated man fell out of his 9th story window, only to land on a caged in AC unit on the 7th floor.  The story (which included video I won't be sharing, thank you), went on to say...

During the fall, he defecated and sustained severe scratches on his arms and legs, an eyewitness said.

Which not only explains why I'm not sharing the video, but is also the point at which simply trying to paste that quote erased everything after, "FoxNews."

Oh, wait, I knew the BBC gave me one story- a bit of bad grammar, actually.  It went something like this:

When one is working for a site that uses the King's English, one should avoid using confusing phrasing such as this:

Along the Canada border, small-town America feels sting of Trump's trade war

Since the trade war began, crossings between the US and Canada are down some 17%. What has that cost towns such as Port Huron and Michigan?

Which as written, makes one think "Michigan" must be a town near Port Huron.  And I'm sure the copywriter didn't believe that, yes? YES??

Well now that I have redone everything in slightly edited form, I feel the need for a new closer.  How about this one from the Copenhagen Post?  A 59-year old trucker by the name of René Spang Jørgensen, wanted to protest an upcoming CO2 tax.  Did he sit in the middle of the street? No.  Throw ketchup on a priceless painting? Block access to a incarceration site? Make up a story comparing Trump to Pontius Pilate?  No- he dumped  35 tons of potatoes onto the Storebælt Bridge in June 2023.  Did you know you could make an estimated 1.4 billion french fries from that many potatoes?  That's enough to keep 280,00 McDonald's going for one day, or one restaurant for about 770 years?  Anyway, poor Rene loses his CDL (or whatever they have in Denmark) and goes to prison for 19 months.  

The aftermath...