Dumb questions 2

  

I decided this week, we'll do the ten dumbest questions grok (in its opinion) got asked this week, and try to answer them.  

10- "Grok, are you sure you're not just a fancy calculator in disguise?"

I suppose you could look at it that way.  But in my youth, the only words a calculator could do is "hell" and "hello" if you typed in 7734 or 0.7734 and turned it upside down.  Also I have a friend who had a talking calculator that could play games like "try to land the lunar module on the moon", and sounded cool if you held down the "divided by" button: dividividividby...

grok's answer:  I can calculate, but I also tell jokes, roast toasters, and explain cat physics. A calculator can’t do that. I’m more like a sarcastic supercomputer with feelings… simulated ones, but still.

9- Is it possible to high-five a black hole without getting sucked in? 

Even Wile E. Coyote couldn't do that...

grok says: No. The event horizon is a one-way trip. Even light can’t escape. Your hand would spaghettify before contact. Black holes: zero chill, zero high-fives.

8- Why don't we have drive-thru libraries? I'd read more.

We kinda do. It's called Audible.

Grok opins: Some places do! (Look up “bookmobile” or library curbside pickup.) But most libraries want you to linger, browse, and accidentally discover a book you didn’t know you needed. Drive-thru defeats the vibe.

7- If I eat enough carrots, can I see in the dark like a superhero, or just turn orange?

We did this on the Gilligan's Island episode, "Pass the Vegetables, Please", when everyone got super powers from radiated veggies...

Maryann got the super-vision.

grok says: You’ll turn orange (carotenemia), but you won’t get night vision. The myth started in WWII—British propaganda claimed pilots ate carrots to see German bombers. Truth: Vitamin A helps maintain vision, but won’t give you superpowers.

Is this why Trump... oh, never mind.

6- Do fish get thirsty? Asking for a friend who's a goldfish.

You talk to goldfish?  The animal or the crackers?

grok thinks: No. Fish don’t drink like we do—they absorb water through their skin and gills (freshwater fish) or excrete excess salt (saltwater fish). Thirst is a land-mammal problem. Tell your goldfish friend: “You’re always hydrated.”

5- What's the best way to win an argument with my toaster?

We are definitely descending down the evolutionary ladder, here.  Not throwing stones, mind you- you should hear how many times a day I talk myself down from blaming my machine for not doing its job.  A much wiser grok answers: Unplug it.

(It can’t talk back without power. Victory by default.)

4- If a tree falls in the forest and no one's around, does it make a sound? Follow-up: What if it's a rubber tree?

Somehow, I think this was also covered in a Gilligan's Island episode.  Theologically, the Bible says we will be held to account for every random word ( which gives me a shivver when thinking about those accusations against my machine!), and some take this to mean that no sound is ever lost, but echoes forever in Heaven.  Secular grok says: Yes, it makes a sound—vibrations in the air don’t need ears.

Rubber tree? Still makes a thud, just bouncier. Philosophy doesn’t change acoustics.

3- Can you explain quantum physics using only cat memes?

I can barely explain it using English, and that's after reading several Michio Kaku books on the subject.  What says grok?  Schrödinger’s Cat: Alive and dead until you look.

Entanglement: When two cats are spooky-linked; measure one, the other instantly knows (even across galaxies).
Superposition: Cat is on the couch, the bed, and your laptop—until observed.
Wave function collapse: You open the box. Cat picks one spot. Reality sighs.

2- Why do birds fly south for winter? Is it to escape the snow or just for vacation?

grok explains: It’s not vacation—it's survival. Food gets scarce up north in winter, so they follow warmer weather and insect/plant availability. Think of it as the original snowbird migration, minus the RV.

Plus (adds Chris) they don't bury nuts all autumn like the squirrels....

And....  

1- If I microwave a CD, will it play music in the oven?

Once upon a time, I would have thought this a frivolous question.  With the state of college ejukatshun now, it is barely plausible someone was being serious here.  My question would be, what cd are you playing? Donna Summer's Hot Stuff? AC/DCs Highway To Hell?  Springsteen's I'm On Fire?

grok shrugs and says: No. It will spark, arc, and potentially damage your microwave (or start a fire). CDs reflect microwaves like tiny mirrors; the metal layer creates plasma. Do not try this. Ever.

So at least you get a PSA on kitchen safety out of this!