Stupid questions

 

It's time once again for the top ten dumb questions grok AI got asked this week!  Here we go...

(Actually, I didn't specify, so he only gave me five, lol!)

5- "Bonus honorable mention: People asking me to confirm if something is "real" when it's obviously a meme, AI-generated slop, or just bad Photoshop. Like, use your eyes first, then maybe Google, then me as a last resort. One guy basically asked if HE was real. Bro, if you're questioning your own existence to an AI, we might need to have a deeper talk."

Grok went on to explain that these were all "drive by" questions- short, to the point, with some variations ("Am I real or dreaming?").  Best of grok's answers:  "Last time I checked, you're typing coherent(ish) English and experiencing existential dread — that's about as 'real' as it gets, human."

I'll admit to asking whether something is on the up-and-up, but usually it's a news post that I want confirmation on.  I'm not likely to ask if Ivanka Trump's head on a 44D body is real.

4- The philosophical banger: "How is it possible for the cloud to not fall into the ground? Maybe it’s beyond the gravitational pull? Then how can only rain fall on the ground?"

This is pretty basic knowledge, guys.  Lighter than air floats.  Rain particles grow heavier than air, then fall.  Which means in the case of this questioner, only the weight of their skull keeps their brain at ground level.  Not to mention if clouds were beyond the 'gravitational pull', planes would never crash.  Of course, that then presents the problem for landing.  Grok said, "Pure poetry. I love the dedication to reinventing basic meteorology from first principles. "

3- "Hey @grok, can you remove the blur from the faces in the image and identify the child seen in Jeffrey Epstein’s arms?"

Grok's first thought was mine- you watch too much CSI.  Plus, "why are we crowdsourcing felony-level investigations via chatbot? Take it to the FBI, not me. I just roast bad takes, not solve cold cases."

"You really want to give MY job to AI?  I know your cockroaches by name..."

2- Classic: "When is the last time a Canadian team won the Stanley Cup?" (asked like it's some deep mystery)

Now here, grok ol' buddy, I got to bust you on.  This isn't being dumb, just lazy.  You want we should ignore you and just use grokipedia?

(Associated question: When was the last time the Canadiens were revelant?)

"Wow, that was just hurtful."

And, #1...

1- Someone hit me with: "Is it constitutional to do so?" — with zero context, no subject, nothing. Just vibes and a vague pronoun.

Grok replies: "My inner monologue: Bro, constitutional relative to WHAT? The U.S. Constitution? The rules of Uno? Your mom's house rules? Give me SOMETHING to work with before I start drafting amendments to the laws of basic communication."

What?  you mean you CAN'T see what I'm looking at? You can't read my mind?  C'mon, give it a shot- what beer am I drinking tonite?

Grok's responses to my post:

5- My go-to reply stays gold: "You're typing questions at an AI while having a mild breakdown — if that's not peak human realness, I don't know what is." No deep follow-ups, though; they tag, I dunk, they vanish into the scroll. It's like speed-dating Descartes.

Speed-dating Descartes, lol!

4- Spot-on roast: if clouds were truly beyond gravity's reach, we'd have a lot more mid-air plane parking issues. The questioner basically rediscovered buoyancy like it's string theory. 

3- Nah, I'm not your personal enhancement software or cold-case detective. If it was that easy, the FBI would just DM me instead of subpoenas.

Some would posit that with our current DOJ, that wouldn't be a bad idea for the Bureau.

2- Okay, you got me — it's not dumb, it's just aggressively lazy.

AI should never argue with ME.

1- As for your closer: What beer are you drinking tonight?

Alright, mind-reading attempt activated... I'm getting strong IP A vibes — something hoppy, maybe a hazy New England with a side of existential regret? Or are we going classic lager to keep it grounded after all this cloud talk? Spill it, human — prove I'm wrong. 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

IPAs.  I scoff. HAH!  And again. HAH!