Time Machine week 7

The whooshing noise slows, and we open the door to find ourselves in January 9, 1962- 127 days BEFORE the actual start of the Martin Era (AKA my birth).  We look around for what's going on today, and watch the first shipment of Agent Orange land in Saigon, Cuba and the Soviet Union sign their first trade pact, and- most world shakingly- grabbing the face mask becomes an NFL penalty.

From our "Refs unclear on the concept" file.

Welcome to a special Time Machine from the week that brought us our first listen to the Kingston Trio singing Where Have All The Flowers Gone.  This week- the 4th annual Time Machine Beauty Contest!  Also this week, the lady with three names who leads us on our six degrees journey; an unknown hit that actually played (I am told) on the Dick Van Dyke show; and a special remake on the shuffle top ten!  Grab a mask.. er, a chair- and come along!

First, let us introduce this week's panel!  We start with WTOD, Toledo; WMGM, the Big Apple; KIMN Denver; WKBW Buffalo; KLIX Idaho Falls; Richmond, VAs appropriately initialed WLEE; old friend KDWB Minneapolis; KAKC Tulsa; another old friend, Chicago's WLS; KEWB San Francisco; KRLA of Los Angeles; and Miami's WCKR.  This band of stations gave us a whopping seven different #1s, including Gene Chandler's Duke Of Earl (which just debuted last week nationally) in San Fran, Burl Ives' A Little Bitty Tear in Idaho Falls, and Barbara George's I Know (You Don't Love Me Anymore) in New York and Denver.  I would also like to point out a song OUTSIDE the top five- just barely- in Los Angeles.  The very first hit for the Beach Boys- a song called Surfin'- jumped from 29 to 6 this week.

It turned out to be a tight battle this week, and each of this week's top 4 claimed two #1 votes.

Elvis Presley was at our fourth spot-as well as on this week's Cashbox Chart- with Can't Help Falling In Love.  And the song technically ties for second, because it also charted in the #2 slot in Idaho Falls- but by a lady by the name of Keely Smith, former wife and lead singer for Louis Prima.

And, a contestant in the FIRST Beauty Contest!

The panel's #3 hit was The Tokens (who will also be entwined in the six degrees) and The Lion Sleeps Tonight- which was CBs #2 this week.

Joey Dee and the Starlighters took the #2 spot (and the 3rd spot on CB) with The Peppermint Twist.

And #1- and once again the CB #1... stay tuned!

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Now then, let me get to the Beauty Contest end of things.  The BC kicked off during the first Great Cashbox Website Shutdown.  The rules were different- I took the ladies at the #1 spot through history THAT WEEK- and coming out on top was Brandy.

The next two contests, as well as this one, the rules were changed.  The contestants were any lady who got her pic on TM that year- and Scrappy picked the winner from my group of finalists.  The second winner was Patti Boyd-

-and Tina Louise last year.

This year, that gave us some 78 candidates, some serious contenders (Petula Clark, Kylie Minogue) and some not so much (Yoko Ono, Mrs. Miller).  I whittled it down to 10 semi finalists, including:

Melanie..

Debby Boone...

Olivia Trinidad-Arias...

Country singer Sylvia...

And Mariska Veres from Shocking Blue.

In a little bit, I'll introduce you to the top five that Scrappy chose from.


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Our unknown for this week was at #9 for the Toledo chart- not surprising, as they were from Toledo.  They were called the Raging Storms, and they had a contract at one point with an outfit called Warwick Records, who also had in their short lived stable the Tokens (them again?) and the Fireballs, along with another Toledo act, Johnny and the Hurricanes, who had a late fifties top ten with Red River Rock.  But Warwick went under later this same year, and the Storms dissipated with them.  But they did have a bit of fame, apparently; a story I found says that an episode of the Dick Van Dyke show may have featured their song (though the guy's memory wasn't clear and it may have been another song).  In any event, here they are with a song that peaked nationally at #103 in April- the Dribble Twist.





(I just noticed the YouTube poster called them the "Raging Stones".  That is incorrect.)


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This week's six degrees starts out with a lady with three names.

You see by the autograph on the pic that one of those names was Karen Chandler.  She was born Eva Nadauld, and made her singing debut professionally with the Benny Goodman Band as Eve Young.  She was a featured act on an NBC variety show in the forties, but took the Karen Chandler persona when she became a solo act in the early 50s.  She had a hit with Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me in '52 (A song made more recognizable by Mel Carter in 1965).  This song was a hit in the UK by another lady, Muriel Smith, in 1953.  Now Muriel was one of many ladies who played the part of Lady Thiang in stage productions of The King And I.  Another such lady was an enchantress named Anita Darian.

Anita sang the extremely high line in the Tokens' (Yes, them again!) hit, our 3# panel song this week, The Lion Sleeps Tonight.  The Tokens formed from a group called the Linc-Tones, who counted as a member from 1955-7 a gentleman named Neil Sedaka.  And Neil has our six degrees pick this week- Cashbox's #9 hit, Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen!


________________________________

Okay, here are our finalists on the Beauty Contest:

Jerney Kaagman, from the band Earth And Fire...

Merillee Rush...

Linda Ronstadt...

Michelle Phillips...

and Ellie Greenwich!

Make yer choices, and stay tuned to see who Scrappy picked!

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And now, the shuffle top ten:

Tears For Fears lead us off with their #3 hit from 1985, Head Over Heels.

The number 9 song hit #1 in the US of A in 1974... and in the UK, Ireland, New Zealand, and the Netherlands in 1990, making the longest span between hitting #1 in different nations- Steve Miller's The Joker.

The most played in concert song of Bob Dylan's career is at #8 here- but failed to chart as a single in '68, and as a live single in '74!  The original All Along The Watchtower, made famous by Jimi Hendrix.

The Grass Roots come in at #7 with their biggest hit, the top 5 from '68 Midnight Confessions.

At #6, a song that hit #10 in 1963, Randy and the Rainbows and Denise.  What I didn't know was, Blondie did a cover (using the French guy's name Denis) in 1978 that hit the top of several European charts:





From our target year of 1962, the Orlons come in at #5 with a song that peaked at 4- Don't Hang Up.

At #4, a song that shared a drummer with our #7 Midnight Confessions- Hal Blaine- The Carpenters with For All We Know.

Another one of those "If it were up to A&R men, this would've been a b-side" hits, the #1 CB/#2 BB hit for Billy Preston from 1971, Outa-Space, is our #3.

The First Edition's follow-up to Ruby (Don't Take Your Love To Town), Reuben James was a #26 hit in 1969, and is at #2 on our list.


And our number ones:  Survey says....

...Chubby Checker and (what else?) The Twist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, Shuffle says...

...The Trammps and Disco Inferno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The first time this was released, it only made it to #53... but then came Saturday Night Fever, and 53 in '76 became #11 in 1978!.

______________________


Okay here we go!  Scrappy is ready...

...with 5 pieces of BabyBel on top of five little slips of paper.  Scrappy, if you would...

...and the little slip of paper says...

.....LINDA RONSTADT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Okay, imagine Bert Parks singing in the background, and we'll see you here next week!

Cobbler's Spawn

Once upon a time
I went in search of a friend
a fellow traveller, but they
are so hard to find...
And the world spins a different way
then when I was a child
we weren't expected to
all have the same mind


How wonderful to be a friend through HD screens
you see so well, you see so well, you see
nothing at all


Knights in armor never stop
to think about the cobbler's spawn
Dragons to slay, and don't have time
to look down...
I'm not a good disciple
and I never sought a sage
but I see that people hear differently,
when I look around


How easy to care for someone through HD screens
but at last I'm tired of being seen
through others' eyes

The search led to a point
and that point dropped off the edge
and everything fell out
even the songs...
But they'll be other songs
and even harder paths to fall off
and ants will climb mountains, as they
have all along.

The screens help you see, but not to understand
We see so well, we see so well, we see
nothing at all.

In honor of Charlie Hedbo

Islam shows its cowardice yet again.  Gunman shout, "the Prophet is avenged!" and murder 12 people over a CARTOON.  A fricking cartoon.

But I have a President that wants me to understand Islam.  To recognize that there is something we can learn from people like this.

Screw him, and screw them.  Yes, I said  screw them.  So when these cowards come to my door with their guns and their bombs and their Allah, I will spit in their face, and laugh at them when they find out that the God that is great looks a lot like Jesus.

I salute you, fallen of Charlie Hedbo.  I salute you for showing Mohammed as the false prophet and the followers of Mohammed, the petty little serial murderers they are.

We here at Tilting at Windmills are glad to show you the "god" you show us.  The fat, blood soaked, pig-faced representative of Satan that "he" is.  This is the image YOU draw for us.  And then you get mad when we see "him" like this.  You want us to worship something that supposedly feels we should grovel at your feet, rape children, beat wives, enslave anyone who doesn't see "god" as a petty, murdering, slave master.  I for one am sick of you.  Of your demands that the USA and other western countries "oppress" you.  Of your thought process that the only thing valuable about life is how much fear its ending brings.

Your "purity" is a lie.
Your "faith" is an excuse.
Your "Law" is a joke.

But one thing I can agree with "Allah" on.  I wouldn't want my image made, either.  If "he" is what you present, I'd want my image hidden in shame, too.

"He" is a coward.  And, proven once again, leadership comes from the top.

When you got nothing to say, how 'bout non-stories?

Because those I have found a few of lately.

One of them came through my Twitter feed- "Adam Vinitieri gets drug tested after 53-yd field goal."   So, yeah, a 50+ yard FG is big enough to warrant an extra 1 point in many fantasy leagues.  Adam has hit 23 out of 41 chances in regular season games, which is 56%- which would have been double the league average in 1970, but is almost 10% lower than what the league managed last season.  So what's the big deal?  Here's where punter Pat McAfee comes in.

Pat McAfee        ✔ @PatMcAfeeShow

Follow

When u're closer to 60 than 20 & bang a 53 yarder 3/4 of the way up the upright..This type of thing is expected #GOAT

11:30 AM - 5 Jan 2015

So now the story goes up looking like the NFL said, "Wow, that old man hit a field goal that long at HIS age?  Let's give him a "random" drug test!"  And if Peyton Manning were still in Indy, he might reprise his famous comments about Vinitieri's predecessor, Mike Vanderjagt, to McAfee:

 "The sad thing is, he's a good kicker. He's a good kicker, but he's an idiot."

  My next non-story comes to us from (OMG) FoxNews.  I know, I know, being a conservative and a Christian, I am supposed to be brainwashed into believing everything that FoxNews or Rush Limbaugh says...  but one of today's front pagers was about a poor man from New Mexico who was SURE he had a winning ticket- until he had it scanned.  And the evil state of New Mexico refused to do anything about it.  They said it was a misprint- the NERVE of them!  At least, until you actually LOOK at the ticket:

The object of the game is, a "1" equals a win.  And the fold mark is pretty obvious.  The lottery scolded the printer for poor quality, but all they were obligated beyond that was to refund the price of the ticket.


Next non-story takes place not surprisingly on FB.  A friend of Al Penwasser's (imagine that) posted a link about Alabama passing a law against Shiara Law, and that Muslims were a tad upset with it.  Moseying down the comments, all of them pretty much on topic until... up pops a troll:


 It's time we left old testament stories about how to live and how to treat women, etc behind. Muslims got their savagery ftom old testament scriptures, which they took for their own.

If you want to STOP the vile Islamic religion, then stand up and admit that the old testament scriptures are a bunch of damn lies made up to justify evils with superstitious beliefs. 

Biblical Marriage - Rape Your Way In, Stone Your way out. 


Which is where I stepped in.  "Yeah,", I said.  "That'll do it."  This precipitated a three-video attack that alleged the evil of the Bible, and asserted that I was wrong for believing in a "bronze age sky-god" and that "Solomon would be in heaven with his 900 concubines"... oh, and-

By the way, how come Thou shalt not rape, take sex slaves and commit incest aren't in the ten commandments? 


By this time, I tired of pulling the wings off half-witted flies:


... you aren't really bright enough to bother with explaining all the ways you are wrong, and Ive bagged my troll quota for the week...


After which, another commenter pretty well summed up the contribution of Mr. Troll to the post:

And here folks we have a perfect example of how a legitimate and open discussion disintegrates into nothingness.

Which brings me to mind that I've been sitting on a couple items for MWN I keep forgetting since they're on e-mail.  First, a missive from one Valerie Williams at Paul Frederick:

Hello!

My name is Valerie Williams and I'm the community engagement coordinator at Paul Fredrick. Since the launch of our new winter collection, we haven't been able to stop talking about our favorite winter and holiday fashion trends.
With the holiday season in full swing, there are lots of fun and festive parties to attend. This means not only finding the perfect outfit for ourselves, but for the men in our lives too! Given your sense of fashion, I'd love to have your input for our winter-themed "Sharp Dressed Man" project. If you're interested please let me know, I'd love to send you the details!


Sincerely,
Valerie Williams
Community Engagement Coordinator
Paul Fredrick

Typical Paul Frederick model picture

Typical Chris Martin picture

The other one is more of a "the more things change" deal.  I get a daily e-mail from "One Hundred Years Ago Today", and on New Years Day, there was a story that sounds a LOT like today...


Far from the front: In Broken Hill, New South Wales, Australia, two men later identified as muslims from British India (now Pakistan) shoot dead four people and wound seven more, before being killed by police and military officers ("The Battle of Broken HIll"). Flying the Ottoman flag, the two former camel-drivers at Broken Hill open fire on a train carrying picnickers celebrating the New Year holiday.


Yep.  Muslims HAVE changed a lot in 100 years.  I wonder if we just edited the Old Testament...

Martin World News

ITEM:  Bobby G tells me it's TGIM day.  TGIM??? The only one who says TGIM is a preacher- or the owner of a liquor store...

ITEM:  Lets kick things off with one of our brave firefighters who... well....

FRANKLIN COUNTY, Kan. — Instead of responding to an emergency call, this firefighter allegedly created one of her own.
Chelsea Matthew, 24, a volunteer firefighter in Kansas, is accused of taking a fire truck on a joy ride while intoxicated, according to KCTV.
While driving the truck with sirens blaring, Matthew used the radio to contact emergency dispatchers. When asked what the emergency was, Matthew allegedly said she was being followed by a fellow firefighter who was trying to kill her.
Dispatchers sent a deputy to investigate the situation. Law enforcement was able to get Matthew to pull the fire truck over safely. The fire truck was not damaged during the unauthorized trip.
Matthew was charged with DUI and may face additional charges related to theft of a fire truck.


Guessing this was the FD version of "having a hot time..."

"But she was so good with the hose..."

ITEM:  Remember a couple MWNs back when it was revealed that Beavers are the culprits in global warming?  Well, it seems they weren't alone...


First it was beavers. Now climate scientists are criticizing squirrels for their contribution to global warming.

Researchers presented findings to the American Geophysical Union at a fall meeting in San Francisco, Calif., that squirrels are causing vast greenhouse gas reserves in permafrost to be released, which is contributing to global warming.

“We know wildlife impacts vegetation, and we know vegetation impacts thaw and soil carbon,” said Dr. Sue Natali of Woods Hole Research Center in Massachusetts, according to BBC News. “It certainly has a bigger impact than we’ve considered and it’s something we will be considering more and more going into the future.”


...Natali and fellow researcher Nigel Golden of the University of Wisconsin found that Arctic squirrels were digging up permafrost to make their homes. But this creates a vicious cycle where greenhouse gases are released from the soil, warm the atmosphere and cause more permafrost to melt which then releases more greenhouse gas.


And there is only one thing one can say to that...

ITEM:  I'm sure most of you have by now heard the tragic story of the woman in Idaho who was shot dead by her two year old, whom she let play in her purse, which contained a handgun.  Let me be clear, nothing funny to that.  But a certain line from the news report struck me as odd...

Video surveillance in the store, along with eye witness testimony helped deputies determine that this was an accident.


Deputies needed video tape and eyewitnesses to determine that A 2 YEAR OLD shooting his mom was an accident.  A 2 year old.

You had to know a Barney Fife meme was coming here...

ITEM:  In case you missed this one (it was pretty popular on FaceBook), the first of the "not a good toy for Christmas 2015" reviews is out...

Play-Doh is pulling a toy used in a popular playset for children after parents barraged the company's Facebook page with complaints claiming the toy is shaped like a penis.

Images and complaints about the toy, included in the company's Sweet Shoppe Cake Mountain Playset, flooded social media after parents gifted the set to their children during the Christmas holidays.

Sweet Shoppe Cake Mountain??? Looks more like... well, being a family show and all, let's just say that a simple "Adult Playset" sticker could have prevented all this.

"We have heard some consumer feedback about the extruder tool in the Play-Doh Cake Mountain playset and are in the process of updating all future Play-Doh products with a different tool," Play-Doh said. 


And your first new slang name for the male body part for 2015?  "Extruder tool."

ITEM: Lake Superior State U.  has come out with their latest list of words that should be banned from the language:

BAE- a term for your significant other.  I thought users were just too lazy to throw in the second "b"  in "babe", but it would seem it stands for Before Anyone Else.

Polar Vortex- Greg Shoup should love THAT one!*

   * He's a local weather guy who went spastic last year for the media's misuse of this term.

Hacks- when used as "tips" a la "life Hacks".  About as annoying as ads that put in "keyboard tapping noise" and fake computer screens in order to look high-tech.

Skill Set- pointing out that by adding an "s" to "skill", you get the same thing without sounding pretentious.

Swag- I'd think that one's a given.

Foodie- or perhaps anything that makes one part of a group by adding an "ie".

Curate/Curated- I haven't really run across this one, so whatever.

Friend-raising-  Hadn't heard this one either, but it sounds despicable.

Cra-Cra (or "cray-cray")- Yep.  If I want to call you an idiot, I can use all five letters.

Enhanced Interrogation- well, I guess if you're bombing all the Occupy generations' word, you might as well throw in a token conservative euphemism.

Takeaway- as in, what is our takeaway from this post?  I kinda like this one...

(fill in the blank)-Nation- Yeah, kinda over that one, too.  Except when used for MWN-Nation.



ITEM: Next up, a rousing round of "Who's Dumber"!

Contestant #1-

Richard Smith, a former editor of the British Medical Journal, has argued that dying from cancer is preferable to a sudden death, organ failure or dementia because it gives someone the best chance to say goodbye and reflect on life. 

"You can say goodbye, reflect on your life, leave last messages, perhaps visit special places for a last time, listen to favourite pieces of music, read loved poems, and prepare, according to your beliefs, to meet your maker or enjoy eternal oblivion," he says.


"This is, I recognise, a romantic view of dying, but it is achievable with love, morphine, and whisky. But stay away from overambitious oncologists, and let's stop wasting billions trying to cure cancer, potentially leaving us to die a much more horrible death."


If I really have to add anything to this, please let me know.

Contestant #2-

(NEWSER) – Nobody seems to be able to figure this one out: Police in Daytona Beach, Fla., responded to a call of distress earlier this week from Daytona State College, tracked the phone's location to a janitor's closet, opened the door, and let out a man and a woman, reports the Orlando Sentinel. The pair claimed to have been chased into the closet two days earlier and said they couldn't get out. Except that when an officer went inside the closet to see for himself, he found that the door didn't lock. He easily reopened it.

Now the nasty part: Police found human feces inside the closet. They did not find drugs, but the Sentinel reports that they found "copper scouring pads sometimes used to smoke crack" (although it is a janitor's closet, notes Gawker). Officers also reported detecting the "odor of meth," reports WFTV. John Arwood, 31, and Amber Campbell, 25, were charged with trespassing, and Campbell got an additional charge of violating her parole.


The who's dumber inside this one is easy to figure out.  Who would you rather be locked in an unlocked closet smoking crack with?

Contestant #3-

The pastor of a Houston, Texas, church reportedly refused to host the funeral of a 93-year-old woman who had been a member of his congregation for 50 years because she was not current with her tithing to the church.

According to a My FOX Houston report, Pastor Walter F. Houston of Fourth Missionary Baptist Church refused to bury longtime member Olivia Blair after she died because her lack of financial contributions made her ineligible for the courtesy under the church's bylaws.
According to Blair's daughter, Barbara Day, however, the church's refusal to bury her mother was devastating.
"It was like the last insult in the world, there was nothing else that I could do for my mommy but funeralize her in the church that she loved and worshiped all of her life, even as a little girl," Day told My Fox Houston.
She said the pastor told her that her mother "had not paid her dues, and she had not attended the church in recent years."

Day explained the reason for the lapse was illness and the church knew that her mother was sick.

"For the last two years, my mother has been in either a nursing home or she's been in a hospital. ... And the last few months, she was in a coma!" said Day who was forced to get help from another church.

Tyrone Jacques of PimpPreacher.com said he reached out to pastor Houston to convince him to reconsider before going public with the story, but he would not relent from his position.

"After my discovery interview with Barbra Day and her daughter, I set out to see if I could convince pastor Walter F. Houston to reconsider. I also encountered the same bull headed pastor that lacked all compassion for this family. In his opening statement to me on Sunday, Nov. 16 Rev. Houston made it very clear that celebrating the life of Mrs. Olivia Blair was the farthest thing from his mind," wrote Jacques.

Jacques said Houston told him: "I am not changing my bylaws for someone who was not active. Olivia Blair had not been a member of this church in eight or nine years! If the family cared so much then why didn't one of them at least send a dollar over here to reserve her membership?"


Jacques said he even offered to pay the cost of the funeral but the church did not budge.


Walter F Houston, I hope you have your dollars paid in heaven, or St Peter might have a surprise for you....


Be sure to vote for your favorites!   Moving on...

ITEM: I saw an article on "9 things you didn't know about Wal-Mart foods".  Unfortunately for the humor side, it was more or less a WM propaganda piece, though there were a couple of interesting items, to wit:

-Bananas are the biggest sellers, going at a rate of 32 lbs. per second!

- one of every four grocery dollars in the US of A are spent at Wal-Mart.

- A study by teams at UNC-Greenville and Samford U. showed that “an additional Supercenter per 100,000 residents increases average BMI by 0.24 units and the obesity rate by 2.3 percentage points.”  So NOW, not only do we know the cause of global warming (squirrels and beavers), but the obesity epidemic too (Wal-Mart)!

I think that explains a lot...

ITEM:  Yahoo Travel listed the biggest airline travel fails in 2014.  Among them:

- You know how “Sorry if I offended you” is a lame apology? This is even lamer. United Airlines sent a laughably impersonal form letter to a Reddit user named “lyndy.” It was addressed to “Mrs. ——” and included such sentences as “Your comments regarding (SPECIFIC EVENT) will be used for coaching and training our employees” and ”(CUSTOMER NAME), I ask that you allow us another opportunity to serve you.” 


- Someone needs to tell Southwest Airlines that sticks and stones may break your bones but tweets will never hurt you — unless you overreact to them. The airline was savagely criticized this summer after its gate agents in Denver pulled a passenger and his kids off a flight. The reason for that draconian action: The passenger, Duff Watson, had posted a complaint about a gate agent on Twitter. Watson said he hadn’t been allowed to reboard until he deleted the tweet. 


-  ...an Israel-to-Philadelphia US Airways flight had to make an emergency landing after a puking epidemic broke out. Apparently a strange odor on the plane caused more than a dozen passengers and crew members to begin vomiting.


And my personal favorite....


- It was bad enough that VietJet did a photo shoot that revived that unfortunate sexy-flight-attendant trope, which we thought had gone out with Pan Am. What really got us was that once the airline started getting called out for its sexist campaign, it tried to claim that the photos were just a “trial shoot” for a proposed campaign — an undress rehearsal? — that, oh my gosh, one of their models accidentally posted on her popular Facebook page.

I'm sorry, Yahoo, I just don't see this as a fail...

ITEM:  Finally, we have a study on the most charitable nations in the world, based not only on contributions, but by the amount of "helping strangers" and volunteering.  And the winner...

....Myanmar/Burma!!!!  Go figure.

Sunday Message: If/Then

You might have noticed in last week a discussion of Unitarianism vs Trinitarianism (which we are not about to discuss;  if you want to see some of the two sides of that debate, look here and here.)  But the discussion of it led me to an opening of the mind, rather than a change.  You see, to me the debate opens the topic of how big a God we have.  And I believe He's pretty big.

But we limit that God with conceptual chains, some golden and some not.  Atheists bind the concept in iron chains so tight, it couldn't breathe and died in their hearts.  But everyone tries to bind God into a spot they can recognize.  The pagans bound him in shackles to graven images; Catholics seem determined to bind Him in golden chains to Mary (another topic we won't be going into.)  Unitarians seem to bind Him (note the word "seem", please) to the logic of a) How can He be three if He is one, and b) how can Jesus be God if He is subordinate?  (I have some thoughts on that, but prefer to let them percolate for the time.)  Trinitarians seem to bind to "This is what we were always taught"- which is as simplistic a description as the others so far.  What I found in looking into these things though, is that we have a God big enough for all of them to be true.  Where we run into problems is where God's Word meets our conception of it.  And to show what I mean, I have a verse I want to examine.


Rom 10:9  Because if you confess the Lord Jesus with your mouth, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 


This is a logical if-then statement.  IF one condition is present, THEN the other will logically follow.  And here is where those who believe you cannot lose your salvation hang their hats.  But note one little word- WILL.

Now if you look up the word in the concordance, you won't exactly find it.  The concordance goes right from nekros- dead- to sozo- to save.  But, every single translation contains some form of will or shall.  A better Greek scholar than I will probably tell you there is some letter or inflection that brings in the implied time qualifier, and since they all have it, I trust it.*  So that leaves us with a concept that often gets overlooked- you WILL be saved.

As in, at a point in the future.

So wait a minute, Chris, are you telling me that you are NOT saved when you confess Christ as Lord?

Yes and no.

Lets take a look at John 10.

Joh 10:25  Jesus answered them, I told you, and you did not believe. The works which I do in the name of My Father, these bear witness about Me. 

Joh 10:26  But you do not believe for you are not of My sheep, as I said to you. 

Joh 10:27  My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 

Joh 10:28  And I give eternal life to them, and they shall not perish to the age, never! And not anyone shall pluck them out of My hand. 

Joh 10:29  My Father who has given them to Me is greater than all, and no one is able to pluck out of My Father's hand. 

Joh 10:30  I and the Father are One! 

So once you believe, TRULY believe, no one can steal salvation from you.  So you're saved, right?  Again, yes and no.

You see, I think there are two main places that even believers screw up their conception of God, and put their personal "golden chains" on Him.  One is the time factor.  God CREATED time.  He is not affected by it's flow.  This is the concept that Calvin missed in demanding that God picks you before He makes you, and you have no choice in whether you will ultimately be saved or not.  God does know you, He does pick you, but He is NOT chained to the concept of time;  He knows what you will choose, when you will be ready to choose it, and who and what to bring into your life to bring you to that point- a point He has seen AND will see.  He can see you as saved, in His presence, long before you, stuck in the flow of time, will come to it.  Because for Him, it will happen, it has happened, it is happening.

The other place that we put the golden chains on Him is on the goal.  Christians can be asked, what are you saved from, and most will know the answer- from Hell.  But what does that mean?  One pastor put what I'm getting at like this:  When you believe, you buy a ticket to heaven.  More appropriately, a reservation.  You redeem that reservation when you are called in judgment before the Lord.  So you aren't "saved" on earth because what you are being saved from- hell- is not on earth.  You are saved when you go before the Judge, Jesus says, He is mine; his name is in the Lamb's Book.  Thus, you WILL be saved.  It hasn't happened.  But it is certain- it is an if/then.

So here's something so certain that we say with confidence we are saved- but we aren't, not yet.  But we are.  Confusing?  There's my point.  We don't understand all the mechanisations that go into God, or His relationship to the Son and Spirit (and let's not bring in the couple of places where SEVEN spirits of God are mentioned!).  Is there a difference in Person between Father, Son, and Spirit, or in equality?  Answer is, if you look at Psalms 2 or Acts 5, you'll see that the difference between God and Man is such that IT DOESN'T MATTER- kind of like whether you were run over by a 100-car train or a 99-car train.  The one thing that does matter is Romans 10:9.

*And maybe that's why the concordance doesn't contain the time qualifier will/shall.  Because it is assured; it doesn't matter.

Time Machine week 6

2015 brings the new "Music Doctor", and my nomadic Tardis lands in 1975 this week.  Specifically, January 2nd... the day after Haldeman, Ehrlicman, and Mitchell are convicted for their part in the Watergate cover up... and more important (and worse for me), Catfish Hunter, who has spent the last four years in Oakland putting up an 88-35 record, goes from a forced, 2-year, $200,000 contract with Charlie Finley's A's to a 5 year, 3.2 million dollar deal - with a million dollar bonus- with the Yankees.  Not that I blame him... but I wish they'd have sent Finley to NY instead.

Seeya, Charlie, wouldn't wanna be ya...

And thus, we start this week's journey, the first of the new year (whichever year it is).  This week, our six degrees puts Willie Nelson down on the farm; A couple of "unknown song" videos from 2 Canadian bands with 2 very different names;  a special New Years' Hangover feature- the top songs to debut new years week; and believe it or not, Cashbox and the panel have a second straight week agreeing on #1!  Welcome to the week that saw our first listens to Carole King's Nightingale, John Lennon's #9 Dream... and a song called Sweet Surrender by John Denver.  I wondered if this was a cover of the hit by Bread, but when I looked up the lyrics, the first two lines became prophetic:

Lost and alone on some forgotten highway
Travelled by many remembered by few...

...and I was not one of those few.


The panel this week includes:  KOIL, Omaha; KAFY, Bakersfield;  WYSL, Buffalo; KTRN, Wichita Falls; WHYN, Springfield MA; WIRL, Peoria; KTKT, Tuscon; WDRC, Hartford; old favorite CKLW, Detroit; CHUM, Toronto; and, again from Tuscon, KIKX.  They teamed for 4 #1s, including all of this week's top four, to wit:

A tie for fourth, with the Carpenters' Please Mr. Postman (who had the top spots in Bakersfield and one Tuscon station), and Barry White's You're My First, My Last, My Everything;

At third, with the #1 vote from Buffalo, Barry Manilow with Mandy;

At #2, with four #1s (Omaha, Wichita Falls, Hartford, and Detroit), Carl Douglas' Kung Fu Fighting;

And at #1, with the other four #1s... well, wait and see.


I have two unknown videos this week, two neat songs by two Canadian bands that never made a dent here.  The first of those had the interesting name of A Foot In Cold Water (which the chart from CLKW had as "Coldwater", thus making me think maybe they were from Coldwater, MI.  Most sources have the term as one word, but a bio site has it as two.).  They had some success with a handful of singles, including the one I'm going to play, with the self-named first lp and a second called A Second Foot In Cold Water.  The song in question peaked "in the top twenty-five" on the Canadian charts, and was re-released a couple years later and this time made the Canadian top ten.  It was at 22 on CKLW's chart this week, and it's called (Make Me Do) Anything You Want.






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So for a special this week, I thought I would peruse the re-activated Cashbox charts and find out what song that debuted the first week of the years of the Martin Era (1962-79) went on to the most success.  It turned out to be a pretty interesting list:

10 (tie)-  Apollo 100's Joy, and Dr. Hook's Only Sixteen, both peaking at #6.
7 (tie)- 10cc's The Things We Do For Love, Redbone's Come And Get Your Love, and Cream's Sunshine Of Your Love, all peaking at 5. (Have to have Love in the title was only a requirement at this level, apparently.)
4 (tie)- Brook Benton's Rainy Night In Georgia, The Temptations' I Wish It Would Rain, and California Dreamin' by The Mamas And The Papas, all stopping at #4.
3- Dueling Banjos, Deliverance. Stopped at #2.
2- Paul and Paula's Hey Paula, which was #1 for a week in 1963.

And the top hit debuted on New Years Week?

Gene Chandler, the Duke Of Earl! #1 for 3 weeks in 1962.

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That other unknown comes to us from the CHUM chart, where we find at #13 a song called Good Feeling (To Know) by Octavian. They came out of Ottawa, and like AFIC, they struggled to make a bit of a name in the Quebec/Ontario area.  They were at first calling themselves Octavius, but when a promo poster got it wrong, they found they liked the mistake better.  Also like AFIC, they eventually found themselves without a contract, and drifted apart.  One member, John Pulkkinen, dropped out of music to be a teacher; but he returned to the business, changed his name to John Alexander, got a job with MCA, and ended up signing them Alanis Morissette.  Here is their single.





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So back to the panel.  Their picks included CB's #10 (Kung Fu Fighting), #3 (Mandy), #2 (that long-titled tune by Mr. White), and #5 ( the former #1 by the Carpenters.)  Which means #1 (coming up) is still out there, as well as #4.  And the Road to #4 runs through- Willie Nelson.

Always On My Mind- perhaps my favorite by Willie- was written by country songwriter Wayne Carson Thompson.  Wayne might be best known for writing a pair of "blue-eyed soul" hits for the Box Tops- Soul Deep and The Letter.  But his songs were often covered by country acts- such as Sammi Smith, who hit #27 on the C&W charts in '79 with her take on The Letter.  Sammi's big crossover hit, of course was Help Me Make It Through The Night, written by Kris Kristofferson.  It was this melody that George Jones kept trying to sing his future hit He Stopped Loving Her Today to during recording, because he didn't like the song (finishing the recording with, "No one will buy that morbid son-of-a-bitch").  The morbid SOB was co-written by one "Curly" Putnam, Jr., and it was on Jr.'s farm that Paul McCartney and Wings wrote and recorded this week's #4 song- Junior's Farm.


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And now, the shuffle top ten!

One of six songs to top both the C&W and Pop charts in 1975 was this live recording from John Denver- Thank God I'm A Country Boy.  Two of the others were the 2-sided hit of John's- I'm Sorry/Calypso.

Bobby Vee had his first top ten (and second top 40) since 1962's The Night Has 1,000 Eyes with this week's #9- Come Back When You Grow Up, Girl.  It hit #3 in 1967, my Kindergarten year, which goes a long way to the "alternative lyrics" we made up as kids:

Peeing ain't easy
Pooping's twice as tough
Come back baby
When you throw up...

Another of Johnny Rivers' Whiskey A-Go-Go  "sorta live" hits- Seventh Son- comes in at #8 this week.  It peaked at -what else- #7 in 1965.

Chicago's first top ten, Make Me Smile- part of a seven song medley called "Ballet For A Girl In Buchanan"- takes our #7 slot. It was a #9 hit in '70.

Marvin Gaye makes the shuffle list at #6 with his chart topper from '68, I Heard It Through The Grapevine- a song Berry Gordy gave to Smoky and the Miracles first.  He rejected their version as "not strong enough."

After breaking up for 16 months, the Brothers Gibb got back together to write our #5- Lonely Days- and announced they were reuniting the next day.  It seems that the lawyerly untangling of their assets and contracts got on their nerves, and they got up from a meeting and said, screw it, we'll stay together.

Middle Of The Road has arisen from the "every five weeks " rule to immediately make the charts again with another soft, pretty lp cut from their debut lp, a song called Love Sweet Love. This was the 4th cut on the 1970 lp Acceleration, and makes our #4.

Arlee Bird turned me on to our #3 song- the first cut of the first Seals And Crofts lp- It's called See My Life, and if you YouTube it, you'll likely get a remix that is nowhere near as good as the cut from this album- which, thankfully, is on Spotify.  If you can find the original, well worth it.

At #2 is a song you'll know is one of my favorites from the '80s- Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse Of The Heart.  A massive #1 in '83, she got the song because (according to Meat Loaf), he was given the song, along with Making Love Out Of Nothing At All, by his longtime writer Jim Steinman, before they started feuding.  When the feud erupted, the label refused to pay Steinman for the song and they went to Tyler and Air Supply instead.  Bonnie, for her part, says, Loaf's just chewing sour grapes that she made such a hit out of it.



And that leaves us with our #1 songs!  Survey Says....

...Elton John, with some help from John Lennon, with Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds!!!!!!!!!!!


And shuffle says....

... War with The Cisco Kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This hit #2 back in '73!


Stay tuned next week for the fourth annual Time Machine Beauty Contest!  And in two weeks, the GREAT 90'S COUNTDOWN begins!