Dictator for life Martin and 10 intelligent men

Today I caught clips of the Jeff Sessions confirmation hearings, and I would have to say on that basis that Congress has got to be 535 of the dumbest individuals I have ever seen collected in one place.  Three questions highlighted this theorem.  First, 'would you start proceedings on Roy Moore if he is elected to the Congress?'  What's wrong with this question? (I mean other than the whole innocent until proven thing) First of all, placement or non-placement of Congressmen is a STATE issue, not a DOJ issue.  Second, if the state passes, then it is up to CONGRESS to decide whether to refuse him a seat or not.  Third, DOJ gets involved only if he committed a Federal crime- which accusations conveniently timed to strike while one is campaigning for a seat that the Democrat Party wants are NOT.

Second question: ' Would you prosecute the President if he asked you for information on ongoing investigations?  Because as you know that is very unconstitutional...'  What's wrong with that question?  First, it is by no means unconstitutional for a sitting President to ask the head of the DOJ, which answers TO HIM, questions- although in some cases it might be unethical.   Second, you were an idiot, because you claimed that something wasn't constitutional when most fourth graders from MY era coulda told you you were wrong.


Third Question: 'Can you tell us if your investigation has uncovered any links between Hillary Clinton and the Russians?'  Sessions correctly answered that he could NOT answer, because in answering it would prove the existence OF such an investigation- which the questioner damn well knew.  It was a phishing scam, and Sessions saw right through it.

Then if you would, throw in the repeated tactic of asking a 2 minute long question and then interrupting the answer to say, "Just yes or no, I don't have much time."  To tell the truth, It wouldn't have been more than 15 minutes, were I Jeff Sessions, before I turned to the Chair and asked, "Mr Chairman, are these people really the Congressional Committee, or did the Remedial Education tour just wander in and sit down?"  And that is why I myself could only govern as a dictator.  I would make first priority the creating of idiocy as a Capital offense.  And that would surely make Congress more efficient, because a nation can be governed far better by a leader and 10 intelligent men than by a leader and 535 idiots.


On the subject of dictatorial, I guess I am wound up about this because I had to battle another round of "Trump's a Nazi" stupidity this weekend.  Without going down the whole road (but I will later if forced), what pissed me off during this set-to were three things.

1- In explaining (for the millionth time) why that mindset is a bunch of BS, I was told that I was making "knee jerk, emotional reactions".

2- I was informed that my fellow debater was 'well respected in academia', and I guess that meant that the only logical arguments were different angles of their original point.

3- I was told that it was perfectly okay for him to say that "concentration camps may come in the near future" because, after all, "Comparison is not the same as labelling. "


Again, I won't go down through reply and counter accusation, but my responses boil down to these:

1- Because chicken-little comparisons of people you don't like to one of the top five mass murderers in history is so logical and level headed.

2- And just peeling off two recent stories about said academia- banishing the words "he" and "she" for a new "gender neutral" list of pronouns, and removing a plaque of George Washington from a chapel at George Washington University because he "may offend minorities" (who somehow weren't offended enough not to go to a school NAMED AFTER HIM)- and I think anyone with common sense might agree that you might just want to keep the respect you get from academia under your hat...

3- Ah, innuendo, that greatest of the skills of politicians.  "I didn't compare them, I just threw them in the same sack and shook well.  Is it MY fault the chicken has shake and bake all over it?"


Which actually brings me off this subject to another, related one.  The POTUS has been missing in much of the news lately.  Unless you count the Russian thing (which, if Hillary did it, or Obama, it would be "globalism", while for Trump it's "treason"), or wanna tie him up on all the sex stuff (again, he's a monster for saying he may have engaged in a little grab and run- well, maybe more than that, but when all your accusers can only come out when it's convenient, I am a bit skeptical- while a certain former POTUS is a serial cheater at best and a government subsidised rapist at worst, and questioning him is "a big conspiracy" and leave the poor boy alone), the only thing he was in the news for was zinging Kim El Fatty on Twitter- which of all the things he has done 'below the dignity of the office' on Twitter, is by far my favorite.  Ah, innuendo, that greatest skill of a politician.

And now, my rant over, I hope you all see the underlying point of this post.  I suppose I could have made it clearer by sticking my handy dandy MWN logo at the top, because it all boils down to the same thing.  Politics in the 2000's is stupid; it is getting progressively stupider; and anyone that invests so much of themselves in it as to "be a part of the resistance" or hoping that the swamp will actually get drained- well, you really need to get a better life, because you're pissing away the one you have on stupid.  Peace and Love to all!

Peanut's birthday party

So the little man that can got an official birthday party with presents and all Saturday.  Gampaw got there early, in order to get a little of this...

Hi, Gampaw!

...and a little of this...

That's him throwing a bit of a tantrum.  It wasn't a big one- no banging of the head- and I told him he was faking because he never kicked his legs.  The upshot is, he needed a power nap before the rest of the guests arrived.  And he got it, waking up just as the crowd startted to filter in, and he was ready to go!

Okay, bring it on...

Wow...

It's all for ME?

Oh, I get it.  That was just a photo op...

He then proceeded to consume his chunk by repeatedly diving head first INTO it.  Which of course was a bit of a sticky situation...

...and soon led to the evil Dr Washcloth.  While Mommy went to get that, he entertained the guests by grunting some fake grunts, which he then laughed over when everyone else found it funny.  It was another in a series of false alarms and room-clearing farts that made Gampaw very proud.

Chillin' after the cake

PRESENTS!

"It says, "Grandpa Chris, Grandma Laurie, and... UNCLE SCRAPPY??!!?"

After the tons of clothes and a few really cool toys, , he decided he wanted to give Gampaw a hug...

...which drew a chorus of "Awwww"s... so he toddled back to Mommy, then back to Gampaw for another hug.  This goes on for about 6 or 7 trips...

...then he catches on, and gets about here- lets out a yell/laugh, and takes off the other way!

Later, when the crowd wound down, me and him got in some play time with a fire engine his big buddy Chuck got him.  And finally, it was getting time to leave.  I guess he sensed it, because he came up wanting me to pick him up.  I held onto him and chit-chatted for a while, and handed him over to Daddy, as Mommy was getting some cake for the AWOL due to illness Grandma Laurie.  But, he kicked AWAY from Daddy- who said, "He's never done that before"- and back to Gampaw he came!  After another minute or so, I passed him over, took the cake, and started to leave- with him staring with a "Wait, where are you going?' look on his face.

Sunday Message: Seeds and Leaven part 2

So last week, I ended with the question, why am I not going to church?  Because I certainly can't respond to anybody talking about why they aren't going if I am not.  This is by necessity going to be confessional.  But I need to go through it so you can understand what these Sunday messages have ALWAYS been about.


Saturday morning I was listening to a sermon by Chip Ingram, who is not necessarily one of my "go-to" guys.  But he began this day by hitting on a topic that interested me.  He explained that there were 4 instances in his life where someone loved him enough to share a hard truth, that changed his life and moved him in the direction he is now going.  All four happening after he gave his life to Christ.

The first was, shortly after accepting Christ, he was also accepting a non-Christian woman in his life, in a way that was making him compromise Christ for her.  A friend pointed out Paul's quote about not being unequally yoked.  He prayed about it, and saw that he was right- the relationship with her was derailing his relationship with God.  And I said, "Been there, done that, got a few t-shirts."

The second was at a Bible camp, and a leader took him aside and said, "You're jumping through all the right hoops, but I don't think you're doing it to please God.  I think that you do it to please men, and it's making you arrogant."  This is a big check box for me as our story goes on.

The third was as a young pastor at a small country church, full of big family groupings, and lots of politics.  A deacon warned him to stay steadfast, don't compromise the Word because of pressure from other people.  Got that one too, at times.


And the fourth was at a leadership evaluation, when right in front of his wife he was told, "Chip, you are a lazy pastor.  You don't make full use of the gifts you have been given."  BIG check mark there.


But as I thought about it, I realized the unifying theme to his story was that after every admonition, "I prayed about it that night."  And this is my laziness.  And it is born of my core nature.


For me, self-realization- the concept of being a human being- has always gone hand-in-hand with self-importance.  How do you make others important on the same level if all you ever hear in your mind is you?  It has robbed me of so many good things in life by making me a taker rather than a giver.  It has made me a source of division by creating a need to be in control of things that just aren't IN my control.  It has made me a storyteller in my own mind- my whole life sometimes feels like a verse from the Carly Simon song, Anticipation:


But I, I rehearsed those lines just late last night
When I was thinkin' about how right tonight might be

Everything having to be written out in my mind, in triplicate.  And all of these things lead me away from TRULY opening up to God about a lot of things.


The problem is now, I SEE it.  I'm not going to go into the whole thing about what happened in my first break with church, other to say that that need for control on my part compounded a deteriorating situation and made it worse.  That church revived, and now thrives, and I am so proud of the people who have built it into what it has become.  And I wish I could be a part of it.  But when we returned to it a few years back for a couple of Sundays, I figured out quickly that there were some severe problems with me.

First, I had come into a leadership role before, lost it, and knew in my heart I would be discontent outside of at least somewhat of a leadership role.  And God wasn't having that.  I had to get to a point where I could humble myself.

And I don't think I am even close, even after all this.  If a Bible study is missing the point, I want to bring it up.  If the pastor is wrong on something, I want to be able to call him on it.  Which makes me at the very least an opinion leader, which is where it all falls apart again. 

I have a spine of pride that drapes itself in false humility.  On these pages, I share with you- or try to- my battle to learn true humility.  I don't write these posts saying to myself, "I'll share this because I know it and you don't".  I share it saying, "This is what I learned about myself this week, and I'm sharing it so I remember to APPLY it."  At least, this is what I pray to do.  But being a lazy prayer warrior when it comes to myself, I don't often go to God and say, "You know something?  I have no clue whatsoever about humility.  I need You to TEACH me."

At least until the guy told Chip Ingram HE was lazy- and I saw it in myself.  And I prayed that prayer, for maybe the first sincere time.

Those of you that read these posts, please CALL me on this.  When you see me being lazy, self-righteous, flat out wrong, TELL ME.  If this is going to be healthy for any of us, it has to work in all of us.  And I will try and pray more effectively, for you all and for myself.

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXVIII456111061

Today, we go to November 11, 1961, and we had a busy day!  First, the great (and yeah, I did read it) novel Catch-22 came out today.  Gotta love that Yossarian!  Also it was "Get rid of Stalin" day in the USSR, as the cities of Stalingrad, Stalinsk, and Stalino suddenly became Volgograd, Novokuznetsk, and Donetsk.

"And I got demoted back to Ioseb Jughashvili..."

And finally, the US sent a monkey named Goliath into space- or would have, had the Atlas rocket not blown up a half-minute in.  Supposedly there was an article referenced about the story once the monkey's cinders remains were found from the Miami Herald, but when I went to see if there was a picture, I got this:

 This is not Goliath the spider monkey, but U Thant, who became SecGen of the UN about a week before Goliath became a s'more.


Anyway, this is Time Machine, and this week's show features, among other things, the return of The Shacks to the M10- and they bring Plume Of Feathers with 'em; what the Eagles, Doobies, and Toto have to do with either Daryl Hall or the Electric Indian; Sandy Nelson makes his second stop in in about 3 weeks; and Johnny Tillotson does the Panel thing!  No catches here, gang!


************************************************

And we open today's show with Plume Of Feathers, who return for a second trip into the M10.  Debuting at #9...





*****************************************

Today we bring in Johnny Tillotson as our POTM, to give us the Panel Picks!  How are you today?

Just fine.  Say, is this really the 1961 me?

Yep.  You've been talking to Gary Troxel, haven't you?

Well, uh... he said this gig don't pay...

Well, it's not really you.  If it were really you, I would probably have to pay you.

So why not get the real me?  I'm still alive, aren't I?

Well, yeah, but I just do this to...

I'm going to have to leave myself a note to sue you 56 years from now.

But don't you see?  People 56 years after YOU do the show are hearing about you again, bringing interest to your name and hits to your website.

Website?

Trust me, it's a good thing.  Might even make you some money there doing the show here.

Really?  A lot?

'Bout as much as this interview is worth...

Okay, let's do it!

Good, good.  Here's the list, you have 8 candidates from 29 stations.

Okay, let's see... first up is Jimmy Dean's Big Bad John, which was Cashbox's #1 this week... say, is this my this week or your this week?

Yours, currently.  It comes and goes.

Okay... I guess... next is someone called George, Johnny, and the Pilots with Flying Blue Angels.  They bubbled under on Billboard in September.  Bet they didn't get many votes.

Johnny Burnette was #44 on CB with God Country And My Baby.

James Darren was at #30- and was the biggest mover this week, up from 66 for a 36-notch jump- with Goodbye Cruel World.

Oh, and that reminds me I forgot last week's big jumper- which is unfortunate, because it was Kathy Young's A Thousand Stars, which moved up 29 spots from 98 to 69.

The Tokens were at #118- their first charting week- with The Lion Sleeps Tonight.  And it would only take FIVE weeks to hit the top!


Bob Moore was at #20 with Mexico.

The Marvelettes were at #4 with Please Mr Postman.

Dion was at #2 with Runaround Sue.  Say, what about number three?

Gets the 6D treatment this week- no Panel votes.

So what was it?  Just whisper it to me...

NO!  You get it when everyone else does.

Hmph, Elvis was right about you!  Troy Shondell was at #6 with This Time.

And last on the list is Bobby Edwards and You're The Reason, which CB had at #15.

Alright, nice job, Johnny.  So we had a big winner this week- almost 38% of the vote!  But who was it?  Choose this week from Jimmy Dean, James Darren, Dion, and the Marvelettes- #s 1, 2, 4, and 20!

********************************


So who is Tim Moore?

Well, to go with the teaser, in 1977 he released his third lp, White Shadows, which featured amongst the backing musicians Michael McDonald (soon to be Doobie Brothers), Jeff Porcaro (someday Toto), and Timothy B Schmit ('Long Run' era  Eagles).  You might actually know him best as the writer of Rock And Roll Love Letter for the Bay City Rollers.  But he was into a lot of interesting things.  He helped out on early Steely Dan, and Donald Fagen sang on his first lp.  Frank Zappa wanted to sign him, but he wanted Zappa to produce him, and Frank was too busy touring.  He was a member of Todd Rundgren's first band, Woody's Truck Stop, and played with Daryl Hall in an outfit called Gulliver.   And at Daryl Hall we jump off and mention that the later Hall and Oates superstar got a start in a band called The Electric Indian, who did a one-off called Keem-O-Sabe.  Also in that grouping was one Len Borisoff- who you know better as Len Barry, who had the big hit 1-2-3 in '65.  And Len got his start as a member of the Dovells, who were at #3 this week with a song I can't believe never got a Panel vote- the Bristol Stomp.


***************************************

So maybe you got to see the Shacks doing This Strange Effect- which was in the M10 about this time last year- on an IPhone ad.   As a result, they released the tune as a "single" (or what passes as one these days), and I got to hear the flip side on Spotify last week.  Thing is- bad for you- they haven't put out a video yet, and nobody's gotten around to  posting an audio clip on YouTube.  However, if you click through to this page on BandCamp, you can listen to the tune.  It's called Fly Fishing- and it comes in all the way up at #5.


***********************************************

Stat Pack time!

Sandy Nelson- who got TM love a couple weeks back, is back with Let There Be Drums as the #61 in '61!

Claude King- who would be a pop one-hit-wonder in a bit with Wolverton Mountain in the top 3- is at #101 this week with the hit just before, The Comancheros.  It would climb quick for a couple of weeks, then crap out at #76. 

I knew 18 on this countdown- moving back up!


And in the UK, they love Elvis, and he's at their top with the two sided (Marie's The Name of) His Latest Flame/Little Sister.  Little Sister was on the way down at #52 here.  Our #1 on Cashbox- Big Bad John- was at #4 there, and would peak at #2.


**************************************

And with that, we head to the rest of the M10.

For a second week in a row, a former #1 pauses at 10 on the way out- this time it's Ducktails with Light A Candle, after 8 weeks.

And at #8, another former #1- Tom Petty's Walls (No. 3), falling 5.

Nothing But Thieves tumbles 2 to #7 with Broken Machine.

UDL (see last week) move up one to #6 with Rewind.

I'm going to start calling #9 the launching pad.  Two weeks ago, Mo Kenny was at 9, and went to #2.  Last week, Dent May was at #9 with Picture On A Screen- and this week, he leaps to #4.

Alvvays squeezes out one more week of climbing, moving up 1 to #3 with Your Type.  A good week next week could give them the biggest hit they have had yet on the M10!

The Derevs drop to #2- and might not move again for a while- with Something Good.

And at the top?

...Mo Kenney with Unglued!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And on the Panel?  Well, the Marvelettes got 10.3%...
Dion got 13.8%...
 James Darren got 17.2%...

So that means next week's POTM will be...

...Jimmy Dean with Big Bad John!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, that's a wear-the-grooves-out-as-a-kid hit at the top!  I wonder if we might do it again when we once more ask the musical question- where were you in '62!  See ya then!

Anatomy of a spam letter

Okay, it's not so bad as all that, but I did get yet another amusing variation  of the same ol' spam e-mail, and I thought I would get away from the exciting and valuable world of politics again and dissect it like a squirmy little toad in a biology class.  So let's start with the sender...

Robert G. Morgan.  Now, you know and I know he's not the one who sent it, but who is Robert G Morgan?  Well, there was no one you might deem famous, but I did get a hit on LinkedIn-

Lecturer in School of Kinesiology at Indiana University Bloomington

and I said, WTH is Kinesiology?  The answer?

Kinesiology is the scientific study of human or non-human body movement. Kinesiology addresses physiological, biomechanical, and psychological mechanisms of movement. Applications of kinesiology to human health (i.e., human kinesiology) include biomechanics and orthopedics; strength and conditioning; sport psychology; methods of rehabilitation, such as BLAH BLAH BLAH.  I'm sure this is all interesting if you are a physical therapist or a CGI guy, but I'm hearing crickets (or maybe it's just my keyboard tray squeaking), so let's be done with harassing Robert the Movement Whisperer....

"Hey!  That's MY gig!"

...and go on.  So after posting an address that does indeed go to the UK Treasury Dept., he begins his letter...

Dear Jorge Baladi,


And of course, I am not Jorge Baladi.  I looked him up on LinkedIn as well, and found he is a "Fundamental Ensino Profissional / medium" in Brazil, which actually has to do with primary and secondary education and not fortune telling as I suspected.  I am guessing that Jorge is, however, victim #1 of an e-mail scammer who hasn't got the memo about "generalizing" the addressee.


This is to notify you that the World Bank have assigned UK TREASURY
DEPARTMENT, LONDON UK in conjunction with the Central Bank of
Nigeria,Bank of America, Barclay's Bank and Asian Development Bank to
settle all the debts owned by Africa,Europe, America, and Asia
Governments This is as a result of joint meeting held by United
Nations, World Bank, Britain, European Union and America.


So this is saying that the UN, the EU, and the US got together and said, "There's a LOT of people in the world that are owed money for one thing or another.  Let's make the UK pay it ALL!"

And so running internet numbers, I figure if we empty the UK treasury, we could pay off the debt of the US, UK, China, Russia, Germany, and the PIIGS countries.  Of course, that still leaves quite a bit of Europe and Asia and all of Africa.  But that wasn't what you had in mind, was it, Robert?


The World bank/United Nations has contracted UK TREASURY DEPARTMENT
LONDON for supervising, handling/processing of your payment with other
Contractors, Inheritance Lottery Winners and Internet Scam
Dating/Marriages. 

So it isn't PUBLIC debt, it's just those of us who have been tooken by unscrupulous contractors, inheritance scams, fake lotteries, and internet dating scams.

"So, have we been tooken?"

Apparently so, Beav, to the tune of $3.5 million! 

From our findings, you have been going through hard ways by paying
lots of charges to corrupt and faceless individuals and government
officials to release of your funds, which has been
delayed.

Hmm, sounds like the set up to a Congressional punchline, but I'll behave a moment more.  So, what do I need to do, Robert?


The only requirement we
need from you which is irrevocable is for you to obtain Financial
Service Authority Clearance certificate (FSA) which will be issued to
you by World Bank Representatives currently sitting ...


Wait, Chris, don't leave that part out!  Where are the World Bank Representatives sitting, waiting to take your call?



...in Nigeria West Africa. 


Wow.  Color me shocked.  Why "Nigeria West Africa" is well known as the financial capital of the world, just a sprightly jaunt of 4,530 miles from London!

I do want to back up at this point and ask Robert, If what I need is a Financial Service Authority Clearance certificate (4 caps), why is it a FSA and not an FSAC?  Or FSACC?  One needs to be precise with this much money- what I (or Jorge) need (s) is a FSACC from the WBR in NWA!


 You will contact their office in Nigeria and obtain your FSA
Clearance Permit and forward the copy to our office here in London for
release of your funds by Swift Wire Transfer or Cash payment in your
country in accordance with British Financial Regulation Laws.

Oh, now wait!  Is it a certificate or a permit?  Do I need a FSACC or a FSACP?  In either event, I have to contact the WBR in NWA to get a FSACC or P that I then send to the UKTD by SWT to get my cash according to BFRL.  (I wonder if I can rope in E,G,H,I,J,M,Q,V,X,Y, and Z before we're all done?)

Unfortunately one Mr. Scott Neville reported in our Office, claiming
to be your representative, because of your ill health condition,please
kindly confirm that you sent this man on your behalf..


And our most high-powered Scott Neville on LinkedIn is conveniently located in London or thereabouts...

General Manager, BidSwitch | Chief Strategy Officer, IPONWEB

Which gets us an E and an I but no more.  IPONWEB in actuality is...

Iponweb Limited provides technology, infrastructure, and intelligence solutions for companies in Internet advertising. The company engages in engineering and operation of ad exchange and real-time media trading platforms and technologies in Americas, Europe, and Asia. It offers u-Platform, a custom-built media trading technology used to customize and deliver enterprise real-time trading platforms for advertisers, DSP’s, Trading Desks, SSP’s, exchanges, and DMP’s. The company also proviBLAH BLAH BLAH and pretty much brings us back to where we started, save for the closing...



Send your reply to my private email address:
Congratulations in advance.
Robert G Morgan
Yours faithfully,


Uh, Robert, your name should go AFTER "yours faithfully"....



Oh, wait?  WHAT health condition do I have?????

And now, we ARE truly back where we started...

Get on the pony

There are a lot of things need said about what happened in Texas yesterday.  Seeing's as I would like to keep it light, I wonder if, now that the full story is starting to unfold, if the liberals are going to jump off the gun-control theme and start bashing mankind for telling mother-in-law jokes.

Oldies star's song banned after shooting, details at 11...

I see it hasn't stopped the atheists from making ill-advised hay on the "see where prayer gets you" theme.  I only replied to one such idiot.  I told him basically a) you are making judgments on something you chose not to understand, and b) I would try to explain it to you, but Psalms 14:1 prevents me.

At least it gave us a minor break from this "I got money from Russia" BS.  Lookit, let me explain this just once.  The Party that paid for a disgraced MI5 agent to make up fake crap on Trump, the party that gave us a Presidential candidate that sold millions of bucks worth of uranium TO Russia, is going to play a six-degrees game that goes like this:  many businessmen are trying to get an in in Russia/ to deal with corrupt Russian businesses, one needs to be corrupt themselves/ businessmen make money- ones that deal with Russia make money from Russians/  Trump knows a lot of businessmen/ Trump is guilty of "collusion".  Okay, got it.  And the same pile of crap from which they gleaned their latest bit of (lack of)information is telling us, OMG the Queen's investment people invested her funds offshore, a scandal so shocking I can only say...

I suppose it might have been more socially acceptable to have quoted the Avenger Goliath from 1971, who when asked, "I wonder where that newsman got his information, replied:

"Mebbe his third cousin is married to Jack Anderson's sister.  Who cares?"

If  you haven't guessed, I'm pretty fed with what passes for politics in this country.  No one can get a bill passed because everything's all or nothing, grown men playing a kids game want to make a serious protest by pissing off half the country, and US Senators can't mow their grass without getting tackled by some nutball who thinks violence is gonna make a difference.  Everything said by everybody has to be parsed within a jot or tittle (which has led me to abandon one fellow blogger), and as Bobby G said on his blog, 70% of millennials couldn't tell you one true thing about Vladimir Lenin or Che Guevara, but think they'd like them for president.  Donna Brazile comes out and basically calls Hillary incompetent and a petty dictator, and all I can think is, I wonder if she's related to BoBo Brazil...

He'd know how to get things done...

And it doesn't matter how many intellectual circles Tucker Carlson can run around people who cannot logically defend their positions if the ones who support the court jester du jour aren't smart enough to figure out they've been made fools of.  And it doesn't matter how many new words like covfefe Donald Trump teaches us if we just go ahead and use 'em.  We're just one big happy family, joyously driving off a cliff because everyone's too busy enjoying the argument to have anyone drive the damn car...

It's kinda like work today.  Our spanking-new QC guy (Let's call him "Reggie") gets the communique that we are to simulate a ISO1000 program, part of which entails writing up a new Quality Policy and posting it around the plant.  He does so, everybody signs off on it, and the plant manager (Just because I'm feeling my oats today, let's call him "Woody") tells us that shortly, we would be getting a card to carry on us.  It would have the Quality Policy on one side (B/c part of and ISO program is being able to point out the Quality Policy to an auditor at a moment's notice) and our absence call in number on the reverse.  Today we got said card.  It has the call-in number about as small as they could get it printed on one side, and the OLD Quality Policy on the reverse.  I caught it, reported it, and at this point it is unclear whether they will be gathering up the cards and printing new, or gathering up the signs Reggie posted and redoing them.

Addendum to this story:  Plant Manager Woody described the card thing requirement as a "dog and pony show."  After quizzical looks and snickers ensued, he asked how many people had any idea what a "dog and pony show" was.  Less than half a roomful of hands went up.

In the meantime, check out the newest member of the "I can walk" club...

Da-da-dum, da-da-dum...

Hey, what?

Big sister Lilly and unimpressed canine date

Lovely mommy

Sunday message: The seed and the leaven (part one)

I have a feeling that this is going to become another two-parter, so bear with me.  We have a lot of places to go here.


The story starts at work, end of day Wednesday.  I was first to the time clock, and a group of co-workers were joking and laughing behind me.  The topic of the day was apparently, "Why I don't go to church."  One person brought out the old classic line, "The church is full of hypocrites."  The others agreed, and one of them added the incongruous statement, "I don't go because I don't believe there is a heaven or a hell.  I think when you're dead that's it.  I'm not an atheist, but..."


A million thoughts formed in my head, the loudest- and actually as we will see, the most correct- being, this is not the time to preach back against this.  In the end, the only thing I responded to was that last statement, by saying, "And if you're wrong, you're in a LOT of trouble."


I was unprepared for something I should have by now MADE myself prepared for.  So I prayed about it- quite a bit, but secondary to the thought, what should I have said?

And these are the answers I came up with.  All of them wrong, with a shadow of rightness.

First, I thought about saying, then you must be going to the wrong church.  True in some cases, but way off the point.  And requiring a judgment I wasn't fit to make.

Second, you all think of church as someplace you go where you hang with a bunch of perfect people to have God rub off on you.  And if people aren't perfect, then church don't work.  Better.  Because church isn't about God rubbing off.  It is about YOU having the one-on-one relationship with God, and sharing IN that relationship with others who are at varying stations of their own relationships with Him.  Going to church to compare righteousnesses is not what it's about.

But, that wasn't the right answer either.

Third, your thinking about God is superficial and incorrect.  The very concept of God makes no sense, no matter WHAT god you worship, if it doesn't entail an afterlife.  To say what my co-worker did was kind of like the old car slogan, "It's not a car, it's a Volkswagen."  It's not a car, but it looks like one, has all the parts of one, is used like one- the only difference is semantic.

A very good specific answer.  But missing the general question.

And like I said, I prayed about it- mainly asking to prepared for the "next opportunity" that I could share MY reasonings.  But God had a different idea.  Thursday night, I decided to work out to Bible teaching, and tuned in to the late Pastor James Boyce.  And the first words out of his mouth told me that I had my thought angles all wrong.


"If someone tells you that the church is full of hypocrites... they're probably RIGHT."

While you insert your record scratch here, let me explain.  His story involved Matthew 13 and three parables therein.  The first was pretty clear- the wheat and the tares.  Thumbnail for those not familiar: a farmer sows good seed during the day, but his enemy sowed weeds (tares) in the field at night.  The servants, on seeing the weeds growing, asked if they should rip them out.  The farmer says, no, let them grow, we'll gather all at the harvest, and separate them then, lest we pull out good with the bad.  And after a bit, Jesus explains the parable as God being the farmer, Satan the enemy, and the harvest as the last judgment.  So to simplify, God just doesn't do away with evil because many who have a chance at salvation would be lost that way.

But in between parable and explanations are two other, less clear cut parables about the Kingdom of God.  One is the one about the mustard seed, which though being the smallest of seeds becomes a tree that is big enough for birds to nest there; the other is the one where the Kingdom is likened to a woman who kneads yeast into three measures of flour and all three rise as a result.

Now, me, I was like Boyce explained "most people" as seeing these- that a little bit of faith grows a great big church.  But I- and apparently Boyce- had two problems with this.  First, who ever saw a mustard plant get THAT big?  Second, hasn't leaven been consistently used in the Bible for a symbol of EVIL?  And this is where Boyce said we might be taking these stories the wrong way.  Think about how they are surrounded by a very clear parable about evil being mixed in with the good.  It stands to reason that all three tie together.  Next, consider that the mustard plant growing into this mighty tree is an ABNORMAL condition- if Jesus was referencing normal growth, why not use an acorn?

Boyce theorized that the two parables in question, like the first, were warning about elements being added to what the church SHOULD be, like bureaucracy, entertainment, donut shops and gift shops, etc, by which Satan pulls the church, distracts it from its true mission.  He referenced the Catholic church's use of the "Church Fathers" to build up a mythos in addition to the Scripture, but also pointed out that the Protestant and evangelical churches were guilty of the same thing.  And let me connect it to two other parts of Jesus' teaching.  Think of the other famous thing He said about a mustard seed- that if we had faith the size of one, we could move mountains.  I think it is pertinent that He didn't say, "That seed shall become a mighty tree that can move mountains"- no, all you really need is THE SEED.  And, it is not long after Jesus tells these parables that He tells the gang, "Beware the leaven of the Pharisees."  That is the leaven of bureaucracy, of legalism, of following all the rules and missing the FAITH.  The tree growing, the bread rising, these are warnings about the church becoming something it was never meant to be AND NOT EVEN REALIZING IT.

And that is how I should have been thinking when the subject came up.  But then that led me to the pregnant question, the elephant in the room on all my posts- why are YOU, Chris, not attending a regular church?  And that is what I will deal with next time.