Martin world -NO- news

So for the last few weeks, I've been wanting to do a Martin World News post, to cheer people (and myself) up from the unremitting nastiness that life on SM has become... and found nothing.  Nada.  Even usually reliable (for laughs) CNN has fallen short of worthwhile material.  Tonight, after being discouraged once again, I figured out why.

It's COVID-19's fault.  Seriously.  Let me explain why.

First, look at the change in the lifestyles of the reporters and editors who usually muck things up and send them into mu bailliwick.  Once upon a time, when gaffes were plentiful, These media gems worked feverishly (pardon the unintended pun) to get their stories out in time so they could publish and make the scene at their favorite watering hole.  The odd looking picture, the not well thought-out headline, the rhetorical question turned into disaster, found their way in as a result of said haste.  Now, they have nowhere to go but- uggh!- home.  Which means they have the extra time to reflect, consider, and even proofread.  That seals up one end of Stupid River.


The other gets choked off because, well, stupid people who would normally be out there doing stupid (yet not malicious) things are now stuck at home for the most part.  At home, they still do their stupid things, but away from the public eye, and so the only way I get to hear about them is on the police blotter or fire reports.  Now, stupidity isn't that easy to thwart, and my guess is that many of the Children of Bozo have channeled their usually benign idiocy into more malignant forms- such as the protests and destruction of innocent statuary.  Cloaked on all sides by the un-funny stupidity of the herd, the entertainingly stupid simply don't stand out and thus fade into the background of those busily trying to find harmless historical figures to abuse.  In the meantime, of course, leaving namesake figures like Elihu Yale ( a man fired from a colonial -no, not COLONIAL!- post in India for self-enrichment; returned to England to make a fortune off the diamond business -look up 18th century diamond mining to see how THAT worked- and then got his name on a university thanks to giving a grant at the request of Cotton Mather, well-known witch roaster) quite alone.

Of course, though, the main reason COVID-19 is the killer of MWN lately, is that Xi Jinping is tired of me using the "Winnie the Pooh" picture, and is willing to destroy us all to stop me...