Young Joey is sitting at the kitchen table as Grandpa walks in, and while grandpa grabs a cold Yuengling's, Joey slams his history book closed.
"What's wrong, Joseph?", asks Gramps.
"Oh, Gramps," Joey moans. "I have to write a report on the start of WWI, and there are so many moving parts, I don't know where to start."
"Oh, is that all?" Gramps says wisely, as his finger fumbles with the pull-tab on his beer. "Let me explain it to you the way my Gramps explained it to me.
"Three guys walk into a bar- let's call them Schmidt, Horst, and Tony. Now Schmidtsy is looking for a fight, to impress the ladies. He looks across the room and sees a fellow he's tangled with before. But Schmidtsy knows it won't do to START the fight- then, the chicks will think he's a bully. So he decides to get Horst going after this little guy over in the corner. It won't be too hard- Horst is half shot already, and the other guy is this mouthy little twerp who's annoying everybody. Trouble is, first of all, like I said, Horst is pretty well-oiled already, and second, the mouthy twerp has a buddy- a big dumb fella who looks like he could knock the head off Bismark's statue.
"Now, this guy Schmidt has it in for- call him Pierre- he knows what's up, and he's keeping one eye on Schmidt. Pierre's just liquored up enough, he thinks he can lick anyone. But just in case, he has a buddy too, name of Manfred. Manny's just as cocky, just as tipsy, but he's got this stomach condition- they called it an Ulster back then- an' he shouldn'ta even been drinking, let alone fightin'.
"So, anyway, Horst goes over and starts ta wrasslin' with the little mouthy twerp, and his big dumb friend, call 'im Ivan, toddles over thinkin' to intervene. But Schmidtsy hauls off and nails 'im right in the nose, and he just kinda staggers off outta the way. At this point, Pierre figures to join in, but as he moves in, this little fella, just mindin' his own business, gets right smack in the way. Schmidtsy sees Pierre coming and goes to wallop him, too- but he misses an' lays out the little fella. At this point, all hell breaks loose.
"Pierre, Schmidtsy, Manny, they all get into this big mess of a pile, with the little fella gettin' squished underneath 'em. Meanwhile, Tony was watchin', but he wasn't much of a fighter. He was a pickpocket, an' he takes to pickin' the pockets of everyone who's wrasslin'. But now Horst got staggerin around and lost the twerp- who was on Horst's back, hittin' him with lots of little twerp punches that Horst never felt- so he takes a swing at Tony, and the next thing you know, they're rollin' around on the floor, with the twerp gettin' squished underneath 'em.
"By this time, Ivan had come stumblin' back, tryin' to figure who's head to break, but he was drunker than any of 'em. Between that fact an' the broken nose Schmidtsy just gave 'im, well, he finally just barfed his guts up and falls down out cold, landin' on top of this old Persian rug salesman who was also tryin' to pick-pocket the combatants.
"Finally, in comes the Sheriff, a big, beefy John Wayne type. By the time he shows up, though, most everyone is unconscious or exhausted, or both, so he doesn't have much trouble cleanin' up the place.
"After that, Pierre and Manny decide to sue Schmidt for everything he has in damages. Schmidt never pays up, and ends up torchin' their houses. Horst never did recover, and according to his will, he was buried in a little bitty grave in Schmidt's back yard. Ivan ends up becoming a shop steward for the Teansters, and the Sheriff gave up law enforcement and went to Hollywood. The end."
Joey looked dubious. "That was a neat story, Gramps," he said, "But what does it have to do with WWI?"
Grandpa laughed, "All ya gotta do is change the names, Joseph. Schmidt, Horst, and Tony are Germany, Austria, and Italy. The mouthy twerp was Serbia, the big dummy Ivan was Russia, an' the Persian rug salesman was Turkey. France was Pierre, England was Manny (and Ireland was his Ulster), and Belgium was the poor smushed little guy under the pile. And of course, we were the Sheriff."
Joey's eyes lit with realization. "NOW it all makes sense, " he exclaimed. "But if I tell it that way, I'll get an F for not being politically correct."
"Well, my Gramps had another way of tellin' it, involving a ladies' bridge club," Grandpa mused, "But Granny took the iron skillet to 'im the last time he told it that way. Now, be a good boy and help me get this damn beer can open."
"I don't think you want that," Joey laughed. "Your beer is in bottles- that's a can of sliced peaches."
So we are going to August 28th, 1963- and this happened....
That's right, after weeks of not hitting anything of note, this week we come in for the "I Have A Dream" speech. Id the picture wasn't cropped so tight, you might be able to see a little smudge in the sky behind Dr King. Yeah, that was us...
Well, anyway, welcome to Time Machine, where we are just in time for another very big anniversary- this very day five years ago, the M10 was started! And I'll be throwing in some nuggets about that here and there, and welcoming in one Eva Narcissus Boyd - better known as Little Eva! And maybe I'll throw in a live 6D (yeah, slept through it again), along with all the usual stuff. Hmm, that needs punched up a bit, doesn't it? Let me try that again...
ALONG WITH ALL THE GREAT THINGS THAT MAKES TIME MACHINE THE BEST WEEKLY POST IN TH HISTORY OF BLOGGING!!!!
Okay, just average the two out and we'll be fine. Let's get this party started, amigos!
Our first of two debuts this week- the 514th and 515th songs in M10 history- at #10 is a guy who's real name is Sean Tillman. I don't get why we don't see him on more things...
Thanks- I guess- to Angel Ceballos
...or maybe I do... anyway, he is far better known as the musician Har Mar Superstar, and if his song lasts long enough, I'll go into that story as well. For now, he debuts with a brand new single from the upcoming lp Heart Bones...
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Uh, why is that guy not wearing clothes?
Best guess? It's complicated. Ladies and gents, here's Little Eva!!!!!
So here in 1963, how old are you?
Actually, I just turned 20 a couple of months ago....
And the 'Little'?
Well, I was named after an aunt, so we were 'Big Eva' and 'Little Eva'.
Makes sense. Beats 'Eva Junior'.
Beats that middle name I got with the package, too!
I don't know... you don't think 'Narcy Boyd' would've flown?
Uhhhh.... NO.
Prolly not. So this week, we had a 17 song, 50 station countdown, and once again it was a mainly two-horse race- but we'll throw in a couple 'muddiers of the water' to make it a fun guess.
Ya mean my M10 hit is on the Panel?
Actually, it even dropped out of the M10, sorry! Now, step back and let Eva give us our choices!
Thank you! So choose from... The Angels and My Boyfriend's Back at #4... The Beach Boys and Surfer Girl at #22 with a bullet... The #1 song for the third week, Little Stevie Wonder and Fingertips, part 2... ...and Bobby Vinton, also with a bullet at #32 with Blue velvet!
Gee, the ones I like the best are the bullet songs.... and I can't say that either of the others are a favorite- but I will say at least I don't change the channel on Stevie, just sayin'. Now I'm not one much to stick in more videos than necessary, but you have to hear this Panelist. It was only a local Louisville KY hit, but this song was top notch in my ears. Here's Janie Moss and the Epics...
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So I did some quick figuring last night trying to see who the biggest act of the 5-year M10 run is. What I learned was, first, there are 46 acts that have totaled over 100 points on my scoring system (you know, #1 is 10, #2 is 9, etc.). Some of them did it very quickly with big hits (like King Leg getting 131 points with just 2 songs) and others ground it out (like Castlecomer needing 6 songs to get to 159, or Alkonost needing 6 just to squeak in at 104). In addition, 14 of those acts managed to make it to 200 points. Earlier this summer, we established the 'superstar rule' that you need 7 M10 hits to be a superstar. At that point, the Jayhawks, the Shacks, Alvvays, and Beach House were the only ones- a hard summer of work added The Explorer's Club to that list. Currently 7 acts are at the doorstep with 6 hits- including both the Original ELO AND Jeff Lynne's current version.
And on top of that, 3 acts have topped the 300-point mark! And I'm going to share with you not only them, but the entire top ten as we go along! At #10, with 236 pts on 5 hits...
...Brooke Annibale!
At #9, with 241 points on 7 songs...
...Alvvays!
At #8, with 248 points on 6 songs....
....Lucius!
And now, let's have a crack at that 6D...
Kapp records did a lot of show-tune stuff, including scoring a #1 with Hello, Dolly! by Louis Armstrong. It was founded by David Kapp, brother of Jack Kapp, who had made a star out of Bing Crosby in the 1930's with his Decca label. Jack had acquired Bing and others when Brunswick shut down their record label- yep, the same Brunswick that is famous here for their bowling enterprises, which I just learned they sold off about the same time I started the M10! (Not to mention their the same Brunswick that I currently cut fabric for their boat covers, BTW) Decca had their last hit with Dobie Gray's Drift Away in 1973. At one point, Gray was in a band being managed by Max Baer, Jr.- that's right, Jethro from The Beverly Hillbillies. Did you know that man had a minor in philosophy? Weird, wild stuff.
And what does that have to do with our song? Geez, I forgot! Let's see... Oh, yeah. Our song in question was recorded first by the Chad Mitchell Trio- but because Kapp records didn't like that the lyrics contained the mention of 'death', they delayed the release- just long enough for Peter Paul and Mary to release a single first and take Bob Dylan's Blowin' In The Wind to the top- but was #2 this week without any Panel love.
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At #7, with 264 points on 7 hits....
...The Explorer's Club!!!!!!!!!!!!
At # 6, with 277 points on 5 hits....
...Anna Burch!!!!!!!!!!!
At #5, with 279 points on 6 hits...
... Dent May!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The debut at #9 is a late arriver from an lp that's already had 2 #1's! Here, from Swimmer, is Tennis....
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Our big mover this week was Wonderful Wonderful by the Tymes, up a whopping 48 from 99 to 51. Our overseas #1s...
Australia had Rob EG with the bizzarre 55 Days In Peking...
Canada had Panelist Just One Look from Doris Troy, #26 here...
New Zealand had Confessin' by Frank Ifield (which I liked better than I Remember You last week)...
and the UK was topped by Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas with Bad To Me.
At #4, with 283 points on 6 hits...
...Agnes Obel!!!!
At #3, with 309 points on 7 hits....
...the Shacks!!!!!!!!!
At #2, with 335 points on 7 hits....
....Beach House!!! And who in the world can top Beach House? Stay tuned....
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The remaining M10...
The Flaming Lips up 2 to 8 with Flowers Of Neptune 6...
Roses And Rainbows chip in 4 of those points for The Explorer's Club, at 7 for a third week...
I Could Use A Miracle chips in 5 points for Dent May, dropping a pair to 6...
Hazel English doesn't know when to quit, and Five And Dime goes back up a notch to 5...
Silversun Pickups are in that 100 point club at 158, after Toy Soldiers climbs a notch to 4...
Home Again chips in 8 for Brooke Annibale, dropping one spot to 3...
The Beths are also in the 100-point club at 126 after Jump Rope Gazers slips to #2...
And trying her best to get in that club, currently sitting at 67 points, with the new #1....
...Hazel English again with Off My Mind!!!!!! With just Jump Rope Gazers between her two #1s, Hazel English becomes only the second act to manage that- the only other was in year 1, when one song hit #1 between Beach House's Space Song and The Traveller!
And that act that has more points than even Beach House? With 361 points on now 9 hits....
...the Jayhawks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And for that Panel vote...
Little Stevie got ya 8%...
Bobby Vinton grabbed 10%....
The Beach Boys tallied 18%...
But, the winner.... sadly... with 30%....
...The Angels and My Boyfriend's Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hopefully they'll leave him behind when they join me next week for 1964!
Let us start by getting the timeline here straight, which I must admit I never have done with the actual story in Jonah. First, it was three days and nights in the belly of the fish for our reluctant prophet. Now, here's the thing about that. Jonah lived, according to 2 Kings 14, in a town in the lot of Zebulun in Israel called Gath-Hepher. Joppa, where he sailed from, was about 55 miles south-southwest of Gath-Hepher, which would have taken him something into the third day to get to on foot. Nineveh, where he was supposed to go, was 750 miles on a dead line the other direction, and some 350 miles from the Sea. In other words, either God transported the fish to the Tigris River over that time, or Jonah at best had a two week walk to Nineveh after he got spat out. Once there, the city was given a 40-day repenting period. While it would have taken 3 days to see all the sights of Nineveh (so said in 3:3), Jonah apparently spent but one day there, got mad because his bitter preaching was successful beyond his wildest imaginings, and left the city for the high ground on the east side. He built himself a 'shelter' (obviously not great workmanship since a castor bean plant beat it for shade), and had a 47-day wait while God kept asking what he was mad about.
With these things in mind, let me look at the story now. The first thing you might ask yourself is, "Why would God send someone so reluctant to preach there?" The answer comes from the fact that he wasn't just reluctant- he hated Assyria and the Ninevites for the evil they had wrought on Israel in the past. Chuck Swindoll went so far as to name him a racist, and if you pare the meaning of racist down to hating someone just because they belong to a different group, so be it. A more merciful prophet might not have put the 'zing' into the message that Jonah, who already had s'mores on his skewer, would. However, that didn't mean God was going to let him KEEP that hate.
The next thing to look at is, for me, "What is up with that plant, anyway?" And this, I think, is important to the lesson God is trying to teach about hate vs our witness. There are a lot of theories about the meaning of the plant, including one I read that had a "it symbolizes Christ" theme I really didn't see. My theory?
The plant is Assyria. Huh?
If you recall, maybe you don't as it was a while back, I did a post on just what and when was going on in Assyria at this point. They had had palace coups, weak rulers, rebelling provinces, and if you weren't conquering back then, you weren't making money. Throw in a couple of earthquakes and a total eclipse of the sun, and you had a group of citizens who didn't need a lot of convincing that the end of the world was upon them. In short, fertile ground for a prophet preaching repentance.
But this was a short window, like the day of the plant. Within a generation, the worm- the king Tilgath-Pilesar III- would set them on the road to conquest again, the days of repentance long forgotten. And not long after, that scorching east wind (4:8) came in the form of the Babylonian-Median-Scythian coalition from their east that hunted down and destroyed them.
What God was trying to say to Jonah was, Assyria's chance to blossom was short. And in Jonah's hatred, he begrudged them this tiny sliver of a chance. Another prophet would have been in the city, enjoying the 'day' of the plant Nineveh, discipling them and helping their growth; Jonah was up on a hill sulking, waiting for a destruction he himself had prevented. Why would God give them such a chance? Even Jonah knew the answer.
Jon 4:1 But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. Jon 4:2 And he prayed to the LORD and said, "O LORD, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. Jon 4:3 Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live." Jon 4:4 And the LORD said, "Do you do well to be angry?"
God was acting according to His loving and merciful nature- a nature Jonah had been so glad for while he was counting the loops in the fish's large intestine. Hate was keeping him from making the connection between God's mercy and the mercy he should emulate. What God asked reminds me of another time He asked that question:
Gen 4:6 The LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? Gen 4:7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it."
Cain's hate cost him everything; Jonah's hate was keeping him from seeing where he was headed. But God had one more way to get through to Jonah.
Jon 4:9 But God said to Jonah, "Do you do well to be angry for the plant?" And he said, "Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die." Jon 4:10 And the LORD said, "You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. Jon 4:11 And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?"
"JONAH. Do you not see how petty your hate has made you? You value one plant over 120,000 souls?"
Here are our applications. 1- We cannot let hate divide us, even from sinners. Jonah had as good a reason as any to hate Assyria- God wouldn't allow it. 2- Hate keeps us from the blessings received when love lets us share them. How blessed would Jonah have been had he stayed in the city with them, and in the 40th day being able to proclaim the mercy of the Lord! Think of the gifts he would have received from them- a thought worth considering, as God's final words to Jonah- "...and also much cattle..." point to the wealth they yet commanded. 3- Hate is stupid, and makes us petty. "I saved thousands of people, but I want to die because my castor bean keeled over."
So much more I could hit on, but let me end on this- the story never tells us if Jonah repented of his hate and pettiness. Just like with Paul's thorn in the flesh, we are left hanging- because the lesson is ours. What are we going to do when faced with OUR hate?
So as you have noticed, I've had a hard time lately getting in non-'regularly scheduled' posts, due mainly to the fact that the boating public thinks I should give 6 days and 56 hours of my time making them boat covers, boating furniture covers, and of course, er, 'barstool covers'. So while I had a little time before the Indy 500 on Sunday, I thought I'd do a 'big-event' sports related post for MWN. It started with the question, "what is the biggest sport everywhere", and took me to a sight where it ranked no less than 100 different world sports. It even divided up the top 50 as 'dominant', 'huge', 'major', 'medium', and 'fringe' in the nations it is played.
Not surprisingly, soccer/association football was top dog, and they rounded out their top ten with basketball, tennis, cricket, Formula one, baseball, athletics (assuming by the picture they mean 'track and field'), American football, boxing, and golf. Ice hockey got 11th, NASCAR beat IndyCar 21-36, Rugby Union and League took 15 and 34, and Aussie Rules Football came in 42nd.
But the entertaining part comes with the many obscure sports that made the top 100. Curling fans, you got #52. But there were several that I had never heard of, and upon looking them up, had to lift the proverbial eyebrow. These strange activities included:
KABADDI (#54)
While most of these I was able to come up with a "Chris's version" of what happened, this one I just have to share the wiki version... Kabaddi is a contact team sport played between two teams of seven
players each. The objective of the game is for a single player on
offense, referred to as a "raider", to run into the opposing team's half
of a court, tag out as many of their defenders as possible, and return
to their own half of the court, all without being tackled by the
defenders, and in a single breath.
In a single breath???? In addition to being hard to do, how would you judge it? This is the national sport of Bangladesh, I learned, and this surprises me, as I would have thought that their national sports were "increase the population" and "dodge the monsoon". DRAGON BOAT RACING (#85)
This is a specialty of the Pearl River delta, Guangdong Province, China, and consists of what looks like a super-sized kayak with a dragon head up front, with 18-20 rowers and assorted navigators. When looking at a "10 things to know about Dragon boat racing" article, the first entry was, "Your butt will never be the same." I think I'll opt out.
SEPAK TAKRAW (#81)
This one's easy- kick volleyball. Popular in south Asia, this one I could actually compete in- that is, as long as I don't need to hold my breath. PENCAK SILAT (#90)
A very rough Indonesian full-contact martial art. Based on a legend of an ancient warrior who came to Java and dethroned (and possibly decapitated) the local king in single combat, it seems more like Klingon martial arts, with over a dozen kinds of weapons involved, such as the kerambit...
Yes, I am opting out here, as well.
PADEL (#99)
A much safer game, Padel is a favorite in Spain, Andorra, and Mexico. It basically amounts to tennis with a paddle rather than a racquet, and the walls like a squash court, so that the rules are basically tennis with squash-y tweaks. KOPAR (#100)
Now this HAS to be my favorite, something that Genghis Khan and his boys in Central Asia would've played. Something along the manner of polo without the civilized conventions, the teams are mounted and try to put in the goal THE CARCASS OF A GOAT.
A lone man looking for means of expression in a tsunami of information. Seeking truth justice and the American way in the perspective of a Nixon conservative. And the Commissioner of the free world's smallest and best fantasy football league.
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