Luke James, dimwit

So today I saw on FoxNews a dimwit by the name of Luke gave a lady named Kimberley a 15-bulletpoint- critique on how SHE could have improved their date- and why he waited three months to hit her with it.

I thought, in order to put out there that not all (in fact I hope not many) men are 'Lukes', I'd give HIM some bullet points.

• You are getting your (apparently few and three-months-between) dates off of Tinder, I'm guessing you KNOW you aren't much of a catch.

• Are you English, or just afraid to tell her she's 14 lbs overweight?  Sugary glaze on feces is still feces. Answer: was definitely English, was probably both.
• So you like artificial (pumped up lips, a tan, extensions) as well as natural (hair, make-up).  Maybe you should make up YOUR mind, Shallow Hal, er, Luke.
• Now are they REALLY big boobs, or artificial?  Maybe you should have asked her to "lose the implants", that would make her both "more natural", and chip a couple pebbles off the stone you want her to lose.   
• Maybe your next date should be to Nordstrom so you can buy her that updated, figure-flattering wardrobe.  Oh, what fun!
• "More natural color" for her hair.  Touch of gray?
• "Confidence".  This is really helping with that, isn't it?
• "I didn't get a kiss, which messed with my ego." "You made me feel like shit when you offered to pay..."  You POOR dear.  Now we see why you rely on Tinder- You have the confidence problem.  As well as the rudeness problem.
• OMG She had a REGULAR Coke.  But, she did offer to pay, so it's no pebbles off YOUR stone.
• "You need to keep your past to a minimum.  I don't care about it or what you went through." and in the next breath, "...like you thought I didn't have enough money after I told you how much was in my account."  Now, if she had went on and on about your account (I'd imagine it was the biggest thing about you), that would have been okay.
• "Get a sense of humor.  You didn't laugh at a single one of my jokes."  Just a guess: They might not have been funny, except to you.
• "You seem a bit stuck up.  Sort your personality out."  Dude, that wasn't stuck up.  That was, "F'n Tinder, never doing this again."
• "You didn't compliment me once."  On what?  Your oversized and very fragile ego? Your amazing ignorance of what a sense of humor is? Your "ability" to "be more sensitive to other's feelings"?

For the record, Kimberley's response:

“At first I was absolutely mortified and it killed my confidence, but the more I read it the funnier it became. I couldn’t understand how a guy could say such things to a woman,” she said.

Though initially hurt, (Kimberley) was not surprised by the response, telling LADBible that on their first date he asked her if she would get plastic surgery and suggested places she should go to get a new wardrobe before their next date.

As for Luke, he was a "a snob and just generally a horrible person".

Luke, let me give you some pointers before you have interaction with real humans again:

• A blow-up doll would give you the options you require on make-up, hair color and length, weight (inflation), dress, and dietary intake.
• The doll won't be able to 'appreciate your sense of humor', so purchase a push-button laugh track to complete the experience.
• There are two kinds of mirrors.  One is the kind you keep one eye in as you watch yourself go by.  The other allows you to look at your actions and judge yourself.  You should trade in the 15 or so of the first you own for one of the other.
• Don't show someone your bank account.  They don't care about it or what it's went through.
• "Stuck up" means you think more highly of yourself than you do of others.  It doesn't mean you stop laughing at bad jokes or get annoyed, those are symptoms of being with someone who's stuck up.
• Toughen up, buttercup.  The world doesn't owe you a laugh, a kiss, or a willingness to accept your largess.  You want someone who coddles your ego, date your mum.

Oh, and you know, I left out his best bit- the ending.  "If you take these on board, I might consider another date.  I will give you a month and get back in touch to see if this makes a difference."  I bet it DID make a difference.  There's probably a few hundred thousand more women worldwide who won't date you again either.  Gonna be a LOOOOOOOOOONG month, buddy.



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UPDATE:  So basically we're on "voluntary layoff" the rest of the week.  So let's kick things off with a pre-dawn walk!

1/2 mile mark- co-starring Venus.

1 mile

1 1/2 miles- Venus still hanging in there

2 miles

2 1/2 mile mark

Just before three miles- first peek of the sun!

Just after 3 miles

3 1/4 miles- almost home!