Martin World News

 

  I suddenly realized it has been a Very Long Time since I've done a MWN post.  So let's see if it was worth my while...

ITEM:  The Moscow Times

If at first you don't succeed- maybe you should quit

Sergei Andreev of Russia was sentenced to 24 years in prison.  His crime?

- Tried to hit an army recruitment center with a Molotov Cocktail. It failed to blow up.

-Tried again, same recruitment center.  Exploded, did not penetrate.  No damage.

-Apartment search showed he was gearing up for attempt #3 when arrested.

At a guess, I'm thinking perhaps the attacks were caused because the army didn't WANT him...

ITEM:  BBC

The jokes write themselves...

A Swedish minister's phobia of bananas has reportedly led to government officials asking for rooms to be free of the fruit.

Local media outlet Expressen has quoted from leaked emails it has seen, in which staff working for minister Paulina Brandberg ask for any bananas to be removed before official visits.

Brandberg, the country's gender equality minister, is said to have posted on X in 2020, saying she has the "world's weirdest phobia of bananas". The posts have since been deleted.

There has got to be a dirty joke about a female "gender equality minister" being afraid of bananas... I'll let the reader deduce them.  This was my most appealing story...

ITEM: The Japan News

The 'solution' MAY be the problem

His name is Naoki Hyakuta, leader of the Conservative Party of Japan.  His discussion on his YouTube channel: the declining Japanese birthrate.  His ideas: Women “would have their uteruses removed when they turn over 30” ;  “women who are single after 25 years old not to be allowed to marry.”

Huh?

Later, Hyakuta posted an apology on his X account. “I cannot deny that the expressions were too harsh,” he said. “I apologize for those who were offended.”

But what the heck do they have to do with arresting the DECLINE in population?  At the time, he explained,  he was “hypothetically speaking of science fiction as a novelist.”

Clear as mud, Naoki-san.

ITEM: APNews

But would you WANT to?

The Trevi Fountain in Rome is where tourists go to toss coins in, the legend goes, to ensure a return trip to the Eternal City.  However, currently it is closed and drained for maintenance.  What's a superstitious tourist to do?  The city has a plan:

...if you can just hit the little bitty pool on the other side of the maintenance barrier, it SHOULD still work...

ITEM:NPR

I think we made a boo-boo, Boo-Boo...

A group of men were arrested in LA for insurance fraud.  They claimed- with video to prove- that a bear destroyed three high value autos.  Beings as bear attacks in LA are unusual, the insurance inspectors called in the Dept of Fish and Wildlife, who were shown the vids, and declared them "Humans in a bear suit."  So they went to the address of the claimants and found...

...a bear suit, complete with handheld claws.

ITEM: UPI News

Proofreading: the lost art

In a somewhat familiar story in MWN annals:

Mattel has apologized after inadvertently directing customers of its new line of Wicked dolls to a pornographic website, stating it is taking action to remove the misprinted toys' packaging.

"We deeply regret this unfortunate error and are taking immediate action to remedy this," the toy company said in a statement to CNN.

Apparently the box printer left out the "movie" part of WickedMovie (dot) com, leading customers to approximately triple the porn site's usual traffic.  Well, they say Disney isn't near so wholesome as it once was...

ITEM: FoxNews

And in conclusion...

The site has a slideshow of "factoids, from which we pull the following:

-It takes around 10 million mouse clicks to burn one calorie...

- Until 2013 in Russia, beer was considered a soft drink- explains a lot...

- Wombats poop in cubes, so they don't roll away when they mark their territory...

- In a lifetime, we eat the equivalent of 6 elephants (I think my 7th one is looking nervous...)

- There are more trees on earth (estimated 7 trillion) than stars in the Milky Way (estimated 100 billion)...

And one more item-oid:  The owners of GrubHub sold the company today for 600 million or so.  They bought it 2 years ago for 7 BILLION... caveat emptor, dudes!