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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, December 11, 2017

Head shakes and baby pics

Tonight I had in mind at one point this grand post, about faith and politics and things that make me shake my head.  But the faith part ended up spinning itself into a Sunday message (that you'll see next Sunday); the political stuff was pretty much satisfied with a good discussion with a FB friend; and that leaves me with things that make me shake my head.

First off, I'd like to apologize to the FCS refs that worked the Sam Houston game last Saturday.  You guys may have butchered that game every way conceivable, but I still shouldn't have yelled at you so much.  Even if I did predict a mistake you made BEFORE you had the chance to make it.  But considering you work out of a second level conference in the second level of college football, and the refs in the NFL did just about as bad Sunday, I guess I should have been more understanding.

Moving on, I feel the need to bring up something I listened to a little tiny bit of Sunday night.  The BRN runs one kinda "conspiracy theory" show about 10 PM on Sunday (when only me and the guy getting ready for third shift at the guardshack listen), and the topic du jour was how all left wingers are pocket Communists.  Perhaps I exaggerate a little, but when they tell you that "All communists keep records of their battles in journals, and at the end of their days they donate them to local libraries so that others of their group can learn from their experiences.  And we have found enough of them, with enough secret e-mails, testimonies, and names of high-ups in government, that they know they dare not come after us because they will be exposed..."

And, you're hanging onto those files and not exposing them WHY?  Uh-huh.

Just to show ya that I realize there are "Twilight Zoners" on both sides.  I just can't understand the REAL communists out there.  You really think you can make something good out of the Marxist-Leninist system?  A system that depends on the following things to succeed: 1) An absolute rejection of God and any religion; 2) a cadre of intellectuals that are good at convincing people a brick is a loaf of bread; 3) a populace dumb enough to eat the brick; and 4) enough hands on the weapons to get rid of anyone who don't swallow #s 1,2, and 3.

ANY way, let's move onto another head shaker.  How about the latest amusing spam e-mail I got?  We'll start off with the wonderful, smooth flowing opening salutation:


from mr. james dotson to you,

Because so many bankers forgo "Dear so-and-so" or "to whom it may concern"...

But wait, it gets smoother...

i am mr. james dotson, asst. dir, jp morgan chase bank ny. please read
this mail carefully and proceed to receive your payment worth of
19,000.000.00 payment....

So, 1) we already know who you are; 2) asst. dir. of what, exactly?  3) At this point we have to assume your caps lock is non-functional.  4) my "payment worth"?  I really got my payment worth outta that, eh? 5) 19 million payment?  Is "payment" some new Nigerian currency I haven't got the memo on yet?

And of course they are handling disbursement for international victims of the usual suspects...

lottery, inheritance,
compensation and awarded contract funds and victims who have lost a lot 
money to scammer's while trying to claim their funds. 

Okay, so let me give them all my info they wanted:

1) full name:  Joe Dumpkopf
2) address: 1900 Poopypants Pl
3) phones: just one
4) fax number:  (202) 324-3000*
5) your age:  39, (16th consecutive year)
6)  current occupation: Making fun of spammer part-time
7) attach copy of your identification :  See below

* actually, that's the number for the FBI's National Press Office.  Thought they might join in the fun.

So how do we close such a power-packed missive?

please do provide the above information accurately, because this office
cannot afford to be held liable for any wrong payment of funds. thanks 
baking with chase bank while we look forward serving you
with the best of our service.

I can't help but stress two particular parts of this ending. 

1) provide the above information accurately

2) thanks for baking with chase bank

I can't help but thinking with this "do as I say, not as I do" mentality, that the scammer might well be employed in my company's engineering department, but that's a story for another day.  And, that most people don't bake at a bank.  If I ever see a bank with an oven, though, I'll be sure to print an apology.

Finally, this won't ever make me shake my head, but I have some pics of the Peanut and his visit saturday for those of you that don't get the "Facebook Times":

(Moments later Isaiah got his revenge by whapping Dad in the head with a toy mallet after Gampaw told him to play Thor)

Gampaw teaching him how to make the car go, BRRRRRRRRRROOOOOM....

"Geez, do you believe this old fart?"

"Peace, out!"

Friday, December 8, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXXII46012865

We slam into December 8th, 1965, and find:
-The UK now has the right to sue over discrimination (though apparently not going so far as to outlaw it);
- The USSR cordially invites India and Pakistan to Tashkent to try to settle their "little dust-up" in the Punjab;
-Pope Paul VI closes the Second Vatican Council, telling the assembled Bishops, "Go in peace, and do it quick!  My Three Nuns is on in a little bit and I got a pizza ordered.";
- Rhodesian strongman Ian Smith says, "I'm gonna discriminate, and I don't care IF you hit us with a trade embargo!  More jobs for white folks here!"
- A quarter million Russians "gathered" in Moscow to protest US involvement in Vietnam.  Did anyone show up 25 years later over Afghanistan?  Just askin';
-And finally, in the "wow, times change" moment for today, Iran and Saudi Arabia ink a "Islamic Pact for mutual protection."  Somewhere, a turbaned head just did a spit take.

"Sister Uncle Charlie, you did not shave again!  I'm telling Father Fred McMurray..."
And there you have it!  So we got a packed show this week, including the second-biggest candidate list in Panel history- bigger than the Democrats in '76!  And two features, two debuts, and something that has NEVER happened on the M10 before!  Could it be that Mo Kenney got that 5th week at the top- or something totally unexpected?  All that and Bobby Vinton too!

First off, let me intro the features that are upcoming.  One involves a question I asked myself last week- what act has the most hits on the Cashbox end-of-the-year charts for the Martin Era 2.0?  I logged in the acts who hit the year end top ten the most often.  The second involved the question- what are the biggest ME2.0 girl group songs of all time?  This second question involved the 6D victim for the week, and 2 very different charts...

Now, you might ask- as I did- how it is that with THIRTY ONE candidates this week, how did the #7 song on Cashbox go without a Panel vote?  Well, I don't know... but what I do know is that it was the subject of a lawsuit by the Supremes!  Okay, okay, so I haven't told you what song we're talking about (I'll get to that later), and it was the record company, lawyers, et al, and not the girls themselves that sued.  But this particular song had a resemblance to a song called Ask Any Girl, which was on the B-side of the Supremes hit Baby Love.  That was one of several hits off the album Where Did Our Love Go, of which the album's title cut was named by a list of Billboard critics as the #4 girl group song of all time.  Naturally, I had to investigate.

So I found that they had two charts- one with the critics' picks of what were the most influential girl-group songs, and one with the actual chart performance winners!  So here, with where they placed overall, and a little * if they made both charts, are the top critics picks from the ME2.0 (or as normal people know it, 1955-76):

10- My Boyfriend's Back*, the Angels- 24th on their all time list.
9- Please Mr Postman, the Marvelettes, 22 on their all time list (henceforth known as ATL).
8- You Can't Hurry Love, Supremes, 19 ATL.
7- Lady Marmalade, Labelle, 16 ATL.
6- Heatwave, Martha and the Vandellas, 12 ATL.
5- Leader Of The Pack*, the Shangri-Las, 9 ATL.
4- Then He Kissed Me, Crystals, 5 ATL.
3- Where Did Our Love Go*, Supremes, 4 ATL.

And the top 2 are both ME2.0 songs:

2- Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow*, the Shirelles, and at #1-

...the Ronettes and Be My Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for the chart performance list later, but now...


Today, we welcome Bobby Vinton to our show, and boy, he has his work cut out for him!  31 songs, 76 stations, are you up for the challenge?

I sure hope so.  Say, when to I do my number?

Sorry, no live numbers, just the charts.  We don't reall...

My fans will be disappointed if I don't do a song...

Okay, maybe after the songs here, all right?

You don't want to hear me sing...

I would love to hear you sing.  This is just a really bad week for it.

Oh sure, you have plenty of time when Ben Franklin was here, and he don't even sing.

All right, we'll try to squeeze a song in, okay?


I'm looking forward to it.

All right, let's have the list... First in alphabetical order we have the Toys and A Lovers Concerto.  Beautiful song, was #35 and falling this week, though.
Herb Alpert and the boys had A Taste Of Honey at #3.
The Beach Boys had peaked in late August with California Girls.  But this was off a South African chart, and just getting warm there, so it's okay.

The Soul Survivors- not the soul group that made it big, but a Denver garage band that didn't- had a song called Can't Stand To Be In Love With You.  Some of these guys would end up in Rick Nelson's Stone Canyon Band!

The Seekers had The Carnival Is Over at 115 here, but at the top in Australia.
Roy Orbison was at #40 with Crawling Back.
Another act we never heard much from were the All Night Workers.  Apparently their lead vocal was a buddy of Lou Reed's.  Their song was called Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket.  Sure hope they followed THAT advice.

The Righteous Brothers had Ebb Tide at #25.
The Statler Brothers were at #39 with Flowers On The Wall.
The Rolling Stones were at #21 with Get Off My Cloud.
We sure have a lot of songs that were in CB's lower than 100 chart this week!  The next one was the Beau Brummels at #118 with Good Time Music.
The Shangri-Las are back with the song at #8, I Can Never Go Home Again.  Sad!
James Brown was at #5 with I Got You.  I can't scream like that.

Thank God...

The Supremes were at # 2 with I Hear A Symphony.
Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons were at the top of the charts with Let's Hang On!
The Knickerbockers were at #82 in their debut week with Lies.  How many more, Chris?

You don't wanna know...

Sigh...  another low man on the charts was Lou Christie's Lightning Strikes, spending it's first chart week at #132.
The Hollies were starting up the chart for the first time here, I believe, with Look Through Any Window at #62.
Eddie Albert- not the Green Acres guy- was at #17 with Make The World Go Away.
The Walker Brothers were at # 23 with Make It Easy On Yourself.
The T-Bones with their alka-seltzer ad, No Matter What Shape Your Stomach's In, were at #71.
The Dave Clark Five had Over And Over at #6.
Hey, here's Elvis, with Puppet On A String at #19.
Fontella Bass was at #9 with Rescue Me.
Normie Rowe was doing the Australian version of Shakin' All Over.  He covered the Guess Who, who'd charted Down Under earlier in the year.

The Four Tops had Something About You at #12.
Simon and Garfunkel were at #22 with The Sounds Of Silence.
The Byrds were at #4 with Turn Turn Turn.

I think you need exclamation marks there- Turn! Turn! Turn!

Geez, as long as this list is, I'm lucky I got periods left!  The Beatles were at 101- yes, 101, with We Can Work It Out/Day Tripper.

The Kinks were at #73 with Well-Respected Man, and right next at #74 were the Beatles again with Yesterday.  And that's it.

Great job, Bobby!

I think I'll need a break before my song, though...

Take all the time you need.  Anyhow, let me parse down the list to the leading contenders for your voting pleasure.  Choose from: I Hear A Symphony, I Got You, Get Off My Cloud, Turn Turn Turn...

Hey!  Exclamation points!

...Turn! Turn! Turn!,  and Let's Hang On for the POTM next week.  And now, back to this week...


And I have to let a rather sizable cat out of the bag.  This was one of the most contentious M10s I ever picked, with several savage battles for position.  The one, and only one song, that gave me peace of mind when I put it there...

...was dropping Mo Kenney's Unglued to #3 this week.  So what's the never before on the M10?  How about debuting two songs by the same act in the same week?  Last time, I shared with you Shilpa Ray's song Manhattanoid Creepazoid, and this week I debut it- all the way up at #4!  And back at #10, I bring her in a second time...


So the 6D song that couldn't manage a vote at #7 was one we brought up just a couple weeks ago- Len Berry's 1-2-3.  And since you know the rest of the tale, let's see how the actual chart list of the biggest girl group songs went.  Again, I'll notate where each was on the ATL.

10- Will You Love Me Tomorrow, #25.
9- Someday We'll Be Together, Supremes, #24.
8- Soldier Boy, Shirelles, #19.
7- My Boyfriend's Back, #18.
6- Come See About Me, Supremes, #17.
5- Where Did Our Love Go, #16.
4- Baby Love, Supremes, #14.
3- Get Up And Boogie, Silver Convention (???), #11.
2- Chiffons, He's So Fine- which is kinda ironic considering their OWN lawsuit... and at #1:

...gee, the Supremes again, but with MY favorite... Love Child!  it was #7 on their list...

Their #1 actually missed the ME2.0 by just a few months- the Emotions' Best Of My Love.  Everything else was 1986 or later (Including Walk Like An Egyptian at #3.)


Let me deal a quick glancing blow to the Stat Pack:  Already told you the Beatles were at #101 with We Can Work It Out.  I'm gonna have to go back and see how many times the Beatles were in the Bubbling Unders someday...

I knew 35 songs this week.

Tom Jones ruled the UK with Green Green Grass Of Home.

The #65 in '65 was none other than Sonny Bono, with the first of his three solo tunes.  Called The Revolution Kind (which he goes on to explain he is not), it never got any higher.


And now, the acts with the most appearances in the top ten of the year-end Cashbox Charts, ME2.0...

There were 9 acts that had three songs make this list-  two of them, though, have asterisks.  One is Elton John, whose duet with Kiki Dee was one of the three.  The other involved the Supremes and a bit of chicanery.  Randy Price, the dude who compiled the cashbox archive, says that while Back In My Arms Again took the #1 spot on its chart- it shouldn't have.  Having a comparable run to what California Girls had both charting wise and time of year wise, it SHOULD have been back with California Girls back around #30- but for some completely unknown reason they put it at #1.  Whether this was a clerical error or someone owed Berry Gordy a favor, it screwed Sam The Sham's Wooly Bully out of the year's top spot.  Nonetheless, it is there, and the Supremes have three songs.

The others with a trio of hits were John Denver, 3 Dog Night (with one top song of the year), The Young (or not so young) Rascals, Simon and Garfunkel, our POTM this week, Bobby Vinton, Chubby Checker- who had The Twist on there twice, with one of those runs along with Limbo Rock as the top of the year, and the Platters, who had the # 2 and 3 slots on the very first year-end chart from 1956.

Then, two acts grabbed 4 songs- the Everlys and the Beatles.  And you know who got the top rung, with 7 year-end top tens-


And what remains of the M10:

Alvvays gets crowded out, down 4 to #9 with Dreams Tonite.

Foo Fighters move up to #8 with Sunday Rain.  While Paul McCartney plays the drums, the usual drummer sings lead on this one!

Strawberry Runners are up 2 to #7 with Garden Hose.

The Derevs, taking a cue from Mo, begin their exit by dropping to #6 in their 8th week with Something Good.

POWERS move up a spot to #5 with Beat Of My Drum.

That leaves you with the battle for the top spot, and shockingly, after a long drawn out battle- Dent May defers, keeping Picture On A Screen at #2, and rising from #4 to the top spot...

...Plume Of Feathers with their first #1, Rhyl Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as for the Panel vote...

Unlike the girl group deal, the Supremes only got 5.2%...
The Stones got 6.6%...
James Brown got 9.2 %...
The Four Seasons got 11.8....

But the winner with 15.8 %...

The Byrds with Turn! Turn! Turn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now, with his number, Mr Bobby Vinton....

And now that everybody's happy for a change, see you next week- in 1966!

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Ducks and beers and villages and OUCH

So I just thought I would share some of that nothing.  Prepared to be bored!

So yesterday I managed to concuss myself pretty good.  Funny thing about solid iron supports, they don't give much.  After a good deal of yelling and screaming (the company is very fortunate my last name isn't Banner), I made it through yesterday at a MUCH slower pace.  Today, I started out "feeling like I was just opening my third beer, but it's okay, they're Bud Lights"; but by halfway through, they had turned to Oberons and I figured I better leave before they became mixed drinks.*

*Bud light is 4.3% abv, Oberon 5.8%.

So I have managed to amuse myself sleeping and reading.  And I just now turned the Christmas lights on.  I decided to forgo lights in our room for more downstairs, but Laurie outdid herself with twin villages, which some of you have seen on FB:

For some reason, Laurie wanted a "before" picture...
This week started our family Fantasy Football playoffs.  For those who don't care, Laurie, KC, and I each run 4 teams, and each has their own #1 team.  Laurie's #1, the Elks, missed the playoffs for the first time in 5 years (and just the 6th in 15).  KC's #1, the Clock BBQs, not only made the playoffs for the first time since 2010, he won the opener for the first time since 2008.  He whupped my #3 team, the B2s, 39-18, which isn't surprising.  The B2's started 8-0, and lost their last 5 by a margin of 224-93.  OUCH.  My number one, the KCAs, won their first round game 44-20 and will face the Greenwoods (Laurie's #4), who have won 4 of the last five division titles on their side.  Our league has been playing now since 1997, and the aforementioned B2s were the defending champs.

Okay, you can wake back up now.  I know, I know, everybody hates pro football now.  This is about a family tradition, anyway.  I tell you what, gimme something on the news that doesn't involve Trump being a Nazi, Matt Lauer's penis, or some high school teacher boffing a student, and I won't mention it.

Anyway, I observed this weekend that ducks don't like icy water anymore than we do...

And at long last I got around to figuring up who's in the running for the 2018 Time Machine Beauty Contest!  So far this season we have amassed 69 contestants, ranging from Bess Truman to my niece Robin to Charlie's Angels- but not including three anonymous attempts.  This weekend I shall attempt to look into who will make the sweet sixteen.

Today I was reading my daily David Jeremiah e-mail and he brought up the subject of "the joy of the Pharisees.  I thought, "It would be interesting to know if they actually HAD any joy."  We get the impression of them that they were elitist, legalistic, and humorless- but that's not how they were, or at least how they started.  A little preliminary research (enough to quite run me off the full topic) showed that they were originally the ones the people were comfortable with, the ones they could relate to.  The Sadducees, they were the elitists, the snobs, the ones that did not believe in any life after death (about as close to atheism as you could get back then).  They catered to the rich, where the Pharisees taught the lesser levels of society.  But they lost that track and became stuck on themselves, which is why Jesus kept pounding their faults in to them- because there was still some faint hope.  The Sadducees, who meet the Martin definition of "fools in their hearts", were already a lost cause, which is why Jesus dismissed them without so much as a parable.  Perhaps today's Sadducees should consider that.

Okay, out of conceptual steam now.  Go forth more educated and productive!

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Sunday Message: Karma and Jehoiakim (part two)

We start Part two of my StumbleUpon adventure with a FB comment not directed at me.  Rather, the subject was God and natural disasters, and a lady commented that, given all the heartaches and disasters that came into her life that God did NOT prevent, she had given up on Him.  And this morning I was reminded of that by Dr Charles Stanley, discussing the defenses we have to build against temptation.  Paraphrasing here:  If you are coming to church once in a while, if your time in the Word of God consists of, "I listened at church, that should be good enough,"- you aren't "building  a wall, you're building chicken wire".

And I thought of the chicken-wire lady on FB, whose understanding of God was encapsulated in the concept, "He should be helping me, without any thought or effort on MY part."  And that is the one end of the spectrum of this world.

This morning I was reading in Jeremiah the story of Jehoiakim, the King of Judah after good King Josiah, upon whom all the disasters caused by God's wrath the prophet had been calling out were about to fall.  As the priests read the scroll of Jeremiah's prophecy to him, he would cut a piece off and throw it in the fire.  And I thought how the lady and he were nearly alike- one dismissing God because of the consequences that had come, without knowledge; and the other dismissed God because of the consequences to come, despite knowledge.

But the key to the Jeremiah story- which is what the StickyJesus article on StumbleUpon article was all about- is also the one element missing from all the wise teaching from the Karma article- God's LOVE.

The list of 21 things Jesus wants you to know is broken down like so:  The first six- each with a Bible verse to go with it, so if you want to break it down further, here is where to find it- talk about God's love for you.  Its power, being love by GOD, which is ultimately more than man can know or understand, having always been and lasting forever.  Next, 7-10 address your difficulty of understanding it- you cannot judge God's love by human standards, by how you think God should deal with you, or by how other people, even other Christians, treat you.  God is not your imaginary friend, He is not human, and if you try to put Him in that box, you understand nothing.

At this point, I want to tie in our takeaway from last time, the idea of Focus-Surround-Control.  As I listened to Dr Stanley I realised that these have to come in THAT order.  Focus on the big picture- the way God does, that picture being your eternity- has to be the starting point.  It is what will overcome temptation, it is what will comfort sorrow, it is what will calm fears.  And it is what will teach God's Love.  From there, you surround yourself with the people, places, events, that will keep your attention on that big picture as God sees it.  Only then will you find control- God's control- protecting and warming you.  And be able to imitate it in yourself.

11-17 deal with the topic of sin- how it has all been taken care of by Jesus, and your acceptance of Him clears that ledger.  The only sin God can't forgive is the heart that will not listen.

That brings us back to Jehoiakim.  You see the beginning of this chapter in Jeremiah (the 36th), begins with God commanding Jeremiah to compile the scrolls, all the words that were spoken against Judah BECAUSE of their sin, because "it may be that the House of Judah will hear all the adversities which I purpose to bring upon them, that everyone might turn from his evil way, that I might forgive their iniquity and their sin." (V3)    See?  Even at THIS extremity, God loved them enough to give them another chance- but all Jehoiakim heard was, "Do this or I'll clobber you".  And "doing this" meant making a change in their lives.  So rather than change his life, he just "burned" God out of it.

Did the lady on FB attempt to change HER life?  I don't know, but I can only surmise from her attitude that she had never listened to any more of God's word than Jehoiakim did.

The last four things on the SJ list are the most powerful, and are the ones that made all we learned from Karma last week worthwhile.  These I'm going to give you right from the article, forgive me for cut-and-paste o Lord:

I will not force you to do or be anything. I want a relationship with you more than I want to rule over you. (Jeremiah 31:3)

The verse:  The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

I will forgive your sin and I will forget it. That’s right—completely erase it from my mind. No replays, no record. Gone. (Ps. 103:12)

The verse:  as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

It’s never too late to turn your life around. I came to give second chances. (Luke 23:42-43)

The verses:   Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

I love you. Let’s talk. (Jer. 29:13)

The verse: You will seek me, and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

But there's the rub.  You don't seek God daydreaming through sermons, or keeping your Bible on a pretty spot on the mantle.  And you cannot sin without consequence.  Still, there is one other part that the lady and the King missed, that needs to be addressed.

Does this love of God keep you from life's disasters, as non-Christians seem to think is the only point of religion?  OF COURSE NOT.  God's love is big-picture-focused- this world is the training ground, the purifying fire, for the next.  Now, God dealt with Judah thus because theirs was a different condition- they were a consecrated people, given a set of laws to obey in the physical realm, which they failed to and God punished them physically.  But His dealings with nations are NOT the same as His dealings with individuals.  For us, we have seen and been given the mercy of the Son of God and His death for our sins- our stakes are far more drastic, big picture stakes- heaven or hell.  This is not to say that God does not act in the day to day- but He requires faith.  You have to believe, you have to be one of His children.  The lady on FB was like the Pharisees who demanded a sign that Jesus refused to give them.  If God has to prove His existence to you with a board-certified miracle, you will be waiting a LONG time.

But if you seek Him truly, you will find love that passes understanding.

Friday, December 1, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXXI45912164

Today we hit the first of December 1964- the fifth week in a row with no Beatles on the chart (though that would change next week)!  And today, the Soviets took a meeting to trade out "Presumed guilty" for "Innocent until proven" for the first time...   LBJ took a meeting with his advisers to decide on and map out the strategy for bombing North Vietnam... and ML King and JE Hoover took a meeting together to try to "get along", which ended up being pretty short-lived, too...

The "before" picture...

Now as to the Beatles' absence, never fear, for they're in the Panel picks... and ONE of them is in the M10 this week!  Also, why the record company wouldn't let the Animals release their own comps as A-sides; the strange tale of Kenny Hollywood and the song he sang- a song you KNOW, but didn't know had lyrics; and the difference between a hit here and a hit in the UK!  Plus, this is the week- does Mo Kenney join the acts with a 4-week #1?  Will Dent May find happiness?  Will anyone else EVER sniff the top again?  All that and more, plus the Singing Nun, and an interpreter I dug up to do the Panel Picks!  It's the BOMB!  But not THAT one...


Seriously now, I have something I want to bring up.  I found a song the other night I absolutely fell in love with, and darn near debuted it this week.  It has a gorgeous melody, beautiful vocals- and a very disturbing subject matter.  Not offensive compared, say, to thug rap or garbage like that, just... unsettling.  It was a choice of this or another song at #10, knowing full well the loser would gain the chart next week.  Like the true brave heart I am, I made Laurie decide, and she picked the other (which, you shall see, has a very interesting story itself.)

But I want to play it for you too.  It is a new single by a lady who nearly broke in the summer before last, a second generation Indian who lived through being pelted with crap after 9-11 because idiots thought she was Iranian.  But she is a very NYC gal, and generally her tunes are a tad on this side of vulgar (to some), but a lot of fun.  This one is a bit different.  Let me introduce you to... Shilpa Ray...

What say you?


So this week we have the Singing Nun in to go through the panel list, and I had my assistant use the Musical Tardis to pick up both her and an interpreter so's she can do this thing!  Mr. Interpreter, please come in...

GOOD LORD, Nardole, you brought Ben Franklin?

N:  He speaks French...

So does DeGaulle... Good day to you, Mr. Franklin, It's an honor.

BF:  Yes, of course... what is it that you would like me to do again?

Well, I hope my bonehead assistant introduced you to the young lady?

BF: I took that pleasure upon myself... it appears she has taken vows.  Pity, that.

Yes, well, I want you to show her the list I have of songs to be voted on this week, and just have her read them.

BF: Yes, well that may prove a bit of a challenge... she is no longer with us...

WHAT?  Nardole...

N:  Well sir, it seems the esteemed gentleman found himself of a bad case of Weinstein disease, and...

Oh, Good Grief.

N: ...but he has agreed to take her place, to make it up to us.

BF:  It is only fitting... I do think the poor child was a bit undone at meeting me.

Y'think?  Alright, we'll give it a try.  21 songs, 69 stations... and go!

BF:  All right, let me adjust my Bifocals and... whatever is Cashbox?

N:  Remember I told you about the songs, and the charts...

BF:  Oh, my, yes.  All right then, our first song is by ... well, actually, our first two songs are by the unusually- named Elvis Presley.  His song, Ain't That Loving You Baby- is this English?- was at #27 this week; and his song Ask Me was at #11.

Next, we have the Supremes and Baby Love.  Certainly I suspect the term "baby" has acquired a different meaning over the years... this song is at #2, which is quite good.

The next entry is Jay and the Americans (how very patriotic!) and Come A Little Bit Closer at #4.  Not a patriotic song, I take it?

No, not really.

BF:  Hmm.  Then it is the Supremes again with Come See About Me, at #16.  Is this a men's choir?

N: No, sir, it's three African-American ladies.

BF:  Good heavens.  Slaves?

N: No, we don't do that here anymore.

BF:  Good for you.  Ghastly practice.  Why, as a young lad, I...

Um, long list, short show...

BF:  Oh, forgive me.  Let us see...  Ah, the Beach Boys and, er, Dance, Dance, Dance is at #19...

Then it is Little Anthony and the Imperials with Going Out Of My Head.  Surely this is not a satire on King George, is it?

That would be, "no."

BF:  Good, good.  Then it is Herman's Hermits- are these monks?  Some cloisters have very fine...

No, no monks.

BF:  Ah.  At any rate, their song is I'm Into Something Good at # 15.

Next, we have the Beatles- I see that spelling has changed- with two songs, I Feel Fine and She's A Woman.  And my card says that this pair will not reach the chart until next week.  So you can see the future from here, as well as go into the past?

N:  Actually, we're from a good bit farther on...

BF: Ah, nostalgia.  Next comes (Don't Forget) I Still Love You by Bobbi Martin. It was at # 81, but just starting out.  A relative of yours?

No, sir, not that I know of.

BF:  Then come the Larks and.. good heavens, The Jerk?  It is at #26.

N: It's a dance, sir.

BF: Ah, probably associates of those Beach gentlemen from before.  Next, J Frank Wilson and Last Kiss, which was at #8.

The Shangri-Las at # 1 with Leader Of The Pack.  Girl group?

N: Yes!

BF:  Ah, I am getting better at this!  Then the Strangeloves with Love, Love- which apparently at some point peaked at #122 on , ah, Billboard?

N:That's the other chart.

BF: Gotcha!


BF:  Bobby Vinton is at #7 with Mr. Lonely.  Then we go to Lorne Greene with Ringo at #3.

The Zombies are at # 5 with She's Not There...

Sandy Nelson with Teen Beat '65 at... well, it fell from the chart two weeks ago.

The Rolling Stones- one supposes they gather no moss... with Time Is On My Side (how appropriate!) at #9...

And finally, the, er, Kinks were at # 6 with You Really Got Me.  You have this many songs now?  However do you learn them all?

Nobody knows all of them, except Casey Kasem.  Thank you, Mr. Franklin, for a game effort.

BF:  My pleasure.

Nardole, please show Mr Franklin back to 17whatever, would you?  And be in my office in the morning...

BF (As they walk out)  Do you think we might stop by that convent again?  I would like to apologize again to...

N:  I think she ended up liking girls...

BF:  Oh, my!

(Door closes)

Good night, for some good help.  Anyway, that many contestants means you have a still-sizable possibility group to choose from.  Pick from Leader Of The Pack at#1, the uncharted-as yet I Feel Fine, both Supremes hits, Herman's Hermits, Bobby Vinton, the Kinks, the Zombies and... yes, Lorne Greene...

You say that as if it's a bad thing...
No, not bad, just wondering how I'd squeeze you and the boys in here if you won, is all.


So the Foo Fighters were recording their new lp Concrete And Gold, and Sir Paul McCartney stopped in.  David Grohl gave him an acoustic run-down on one of the songs, and he recorded two drum tracks for it ON THE SPOT!  And the result sounds a lot like something that would have come off of Revolver!  With the actual song at #10, here are the Foo Fighters, with Paul McCartney on drums...


Stat Pack Time:

I knew 34 this week.

The #64 in '64 was the falling I'm Crying by the Animals.  This song, coming on the heels of the monster hit House Of The Rising Sun, only got to #19, which made the powers that be decide that any further comps by the band itself would be relegated to B-side status.  It would remain that way for two years until they got a producer with a little more intestinal fortitude.

At #101 was a tune by the Hullabaloos, I'm Gonna Love You Too.  These gents were from Hull (hence the name), and wore bleached-blonde hair and mainly did Buddy Holly covers.

The big mover was Any Way You Want It by the Dave Clark Five.  This one peaked at #14 here despite a jump this week of 30 spots from 62 to 32.  It also hit 25 in the UK.  Which is funny because the B-side, that was never released in the UK was Because, perhaps their most beautiful song, which hit #2 here.  Because, in turn, was to have been the B-side here of Can't You See That She's Mine, which with an eventual different B hit #4 here.


The debut at #9 is the return of the one #1 act I thought never to see again, as finding even a crappy live video of their hit When We Were Good a couple years back was a challenge.  But this one is easy-peasy.  The clip here may be from 2015, but the new EP with it- In The Garden, In The Night- is just out.  Here are- for the second time- Emi Knight and the Strawberry Runners and Garden Hose:


Who was Kenny Hollywood?  Well, real name Kenny Plows, was a snot-nose 15-year old offered fame and fortune by producer Joe Meek.  Meek had played something called the clavioline on the Tornados big hit Telstar, and wrote out some lyrics to it.  The resulting
tune was now called Magic Star, and the only reason it got any notoriety at all was because Kenny kinda sounded like Marc Bolan of T-Rex.

Meeks, however, had all the fame he wanted.  Three UK number ones were recorded in the studio in his apartment:  the aforementioned Telstar;  Johnny Layton's Johnny Remember me in 1961; and the tune that was sitting at #10 without any Panel love.  This tune by a band that included a hair salon owner, his assistant, and her brother- the Honeycombs, with Have I The Right?  This was their one big break.  Other than that, their claim to fame was that Honey Lantree (the assistant) was one of the few female drummers of the day.


The remaining M10:

Stone Temple Pilots up one to #8 with Meadow.

The squeeze at the top is tightening, and like a wet bar of soap, the Shacks squeeze down 2 to 7 with Fly Fishing.

POWERS swims upstream, climbing 4 to #6 with Beat Of My Drum.

Alvvays squeezes out one spot to #5 with Dreams Tonite.

And the top four sound familiar-  Plume Of Feathers with Rhyl Love at 3, Derevs still at 3 with Something Good in its 7th week, Dent May still stuck at two with Picture On A Screen... and that means the latest member of the 4-week #1 club is...

Mo Kenney with Unglued!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can she be the first to break the 5 week barrier?  Tune in next time.  Until then, how's about your guesses? 

Well, Lorne Greene, the Zombies, the Kinks, all got 5.8%....

Both Supremes songs got 7.2%...

The Shangri-Las and the Hermits each got 10.1 %...

The Beatles, despite not being even on the chart yet, got 11.6 %...

And that means this week's winner, with 14,5 %....

Ben Franklin's fellow Pennsylvanian, Bobby Vinton, with Mr Lonely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next time, 1965, the Polish Prince- and NO founding fathers, I hope....

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Sorta Newspage Go!

I don't know that this is especially the funny fare you are used to with a post like this, but I have a few headlines to get off my chest.  They're making me itch like scabs that have spent too much time on me, so now I pass them unto you.

HEADLINE:  Court victory for Trump White House in fight over CFPB boss

I thought CFPB was the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, so this one threw me a small loop.  Apparently it was part of the treasonous legislation known as Dodd-Frank, and has become another liberal bureaucracy running around like a chicken sans head.  Barney Frank provide again backing for the aphorism, the evil that men do live on forever, whilst the good is interred with them.

HEADLINE:  Trump humiliates Pelosi, Schumer with empty seats at meeting they boycotted

Pelosi says they didn't show up because, "the big meany said on Twitter that we'd never vote for tax reform."  Well, guess what?  We ALL know you won't vote for anything that doesn't come out of your own bankrupt heads.  If the GOP passed a law that said that Jesus was coming back with a million bucks for each American, you'd vote against it as a party block, claiming that Jesus doesn't represent the poor, discriminated-against denizens of Hell.  Act like children, get treated as such.  And BTW, NONE of you get any originality points.  Maybe Pelosi et al should have came in and took a knee.  Oh, wait...

HEADLINE:  CNN calls for scrapping phrase made famous by President Trump

And of course, that phrase is "fake news".  This has to fit into the "self-fulfilling prophecy" category somehow...

HEADLINE: 'Sopranos' actor reveals he's undocumented in order to shine a light on the benefits of DACA

And hopefully shined a light for INS to send yer ass back to ... where, Oh, yes, Ivory Coast.  Give my best to the International Bank Distribution of Settlements folks down there for me.

HEADLINE: Argentine woman used garden scissors to cut man's penis off, reports say

Again, no points for originality.  So this was either a response to sexual assault (she says) or a sex game gone wrong (he says).  Um, two words here:  SAFE WORD.

HEADLINE:  'White Racism' course at Florida university teaches that America is 'white supremacist society'

But of course, academia has NOTHING to do with the hate and division we have in society right now.  Dr Ted Thornhill of FGCU, claims “Too many Americans, especially whites, are cocooned in a ‘bubble of unreality’ as it concerns racial matters” ...  Listen, Doc, I work in a mixed plant with Blacks, Hispanics, Laotians, Burmese, and Thais, and we have NO (zero) problems.  Why is it inside the ivory towers you see what we don't?

HEADLINE:  Chicago woman dies days after found with head stuck in fence

Yep, 64-year old woman found with her head, apparently accidentally, stuck in a fence.  Geez, did you never watch Leave It To Beaver?

Yeah, nice job, ya little goon.  Now you got old ladies doing it!
HEADLINE: Viagra can be sold over the counter

Good news, Bobby G !  No more spam Viagra ads in your inbox!  Oh, wait, UK only...

HEADLINE: Radioactive playing cards found in Berlin

A new way to find the town's "hot game", I guess.  They were traced down to a club that isn't authorized for gambling, but that's a helluva step to take to prevent it...

And finally, from the "You Can't Make It Up" stack...

HEADLINE: Massive meatball accident closes Swedish road

From the BBC report: Swedish meatballs are always a welcome sight on the dinner table, but less so when 20 tonnes of them block the road in front of you.

Apparently the truck hit an ice patch, and while the truck itself said upright, the trailer slid into a ditch and had to be unloaded to get back on the road.  Various comments asked if a truck of spaghetti was to follow.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Gathering past pictures...

Hello everybody, Scrappy here.  Say, Daddy has been a little lax at putting up any pictures, so I'm gonna sneak into the wayback while he's not looking and bring up all the beautiful snaps he took of me... oh, and some other things.

This was one day early in the month.  The soccer fields are closed for the season, so a mushroom invasion took hold.  Next day, they were all mowed down.

These kinda give you the feel of Fall colors hereabouts- 99% yukk-yellow, a handful of orange once in a great while to break it up.  Just not a real good palette this year.

The last ducks we saw this year- and it was a cold, miserable day to see them.

Next day was a little better, so we climbed the big pile of stones that AEP left after putting in the new trail.

Daddy got his usual case of height-fright up at the top, I just got bored.

Wasn't in the mood for a selfie at the top of the pile, sorry.

About ten days ago, it turned nice again, and I led Daddy to something that smelled good (to me) in the woods.  He had to climb across this log to follow me, lol!

And this is what I found- a tarp that Daddy thinks may have once wrapped a family pet, now consumed.

The woods was full of water.  Daddy was not all that happy.

Then this Saturday we started out with a walk, and we saw this young lady and a few friends.

Cold night- the south canal had some ice on it!

Then that darn baby that hogs all my attention came over.  But we had a lot of food!

"Yeah, well dish it up!"

"And I'm putting my feet up, Mom!"

"Mmmm... Pepsi!"

"Hey!  How do ya get this open?"

"C'mon, Gampaw, you'll open it, right?"

"Fine.  I'm gonna kick someone's butt... howsabout YOU, Dad?"

Okay, Dad's here and he wants to talk for a while.  Daddy?

Thanks, Boofus, nice job!  I did want to interject that the one bad thing about Thanksgiving was that at the last minute, the grandpa of Peanut's Big brother decided he wanted him for the day.  BB's dad is a frequent resident of the county jail of whatever county he may be in at the time, and his dad is an enabler IMHO.  Aaron was disappointed, to put it one way- even tried to cut a deal where he made a brief appearance and then joined us.  Because he and I had already planned the Great Chocolate Eclair Raid II for the day, so I made sure he got some when he got home.

And I have just a couple pictures from today, to round out the tale.  The first one below is kind of a funny story.  When we go off in the woods, I HATE coming across runners/joggers.  Scaring everything away, never stopping to see the beauty in what they run past.  And I will confess that there are times that I wish them an early blow-out or something near to- I always take it back right after, that the Broccoli Gods don't actually answer me once.  But I fear I might have been too late one day.  When we got to the Duck Pond, I noticed a blue object just in the water- it was a blue Igloo mug, in nice shape, but for the snap on top had gone awol.  This, I guessed, is why it got discarded, and I went to set it aside.  But when I did, I set it by something else very curious... (Check out the picture now...)

Nearby, not ten feet from where I found the  mug, was a blown out spiked shoe.  As in the rest of the shoe ripped almost completely away from the plastic spikes.  I deduced that the shoe came apart in mid run, the runner fell, and the mug went lid first into the mud, and the lid remained once it was fished out.  Can't prove it, didn't mean it, but if that's the way it happened, maybe one jogger will take a little more time when running in nature.  Or at least question Nike quality next time he buys running shoes. 

And we saw a deer in the woods behind the Swamp.  Nice focusing, Camera!