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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, September 15, 2014

Martin world news

Before we get to the good stuff, I have a question.  My son was telling me how he wished he could be normal.  Not so much he himself, but he wishes he could have had a "normal" family- with a house, a mom AND dad, a family that sticks together.  He wishes he had two parents to bring things to, not just one and the other one "who doesn't make any sense."  My question is- how many of you had that?  Was it good, okay, crappy?  How many didn't?  How many with one parent that just didn't fill the bill?  I'd like to give him some cross section answers.  Help me out here!

That done, here we go...

ITEM:  You think it's easy to get an ID here?  Check it out in the land of 10,000 gods, courtesy BBC:

Authorities in India are investigating how Hanuman, the monkey god, has been issued a biometric identity card.
The card photo features the character from the Hindu epic Ramayana wearing gold and pearl jewellery and a crown.
It emerged when a postman attempted to deliver the card, but could not find a Hanuman at the address.
When he looked at the photograph he realised it was probably a prank. It is not clear who the iris scan and fingerprints on the card belong to.

The card lists Hanuman as "Pawan-ji's" son (the god was known as son of Pawan in Hindu mythology) and lists a mobile phone number and an address in the western state of Rajasthan.

Complete with iris and finger-prints and a mobile phone number?  Why does a god need a mobile phone number?

The local centre and the operator who issued the card will be identified and punished, deputy director general of UIDAI Ashok Dalwai said.
"This is a deliberate mischief on the part of the operator. He will be removed permanently and the enrolment agency will be penalised.
"The process of identifying the operator and the agency is on. It will not take time for us to identify. But I must also point out that such instances are few given the vast number of cards we process," he added.
India launched the huge national identity scheme aimed at cutting fraud and improving access to state benefits in 2010.

The scheme aims to issue an ID card with a 12-digit unique number to all of India's 1.2 billion citizens with details of their biometrics - including an iris scan, fingerprints and photographs.

And how many more do they need to get all the various gods and god-ettes?

THERE ARE SIX GODS AND FOUR GODDESSES IN HINDUISM:There is a Hindu belief that there are 330 million Hindu gods. This means that every Hindu can have a god, specifically designed for him.
However, theoretically, there can be just seven gods and seven goddesses in Hinduism. Practically, they are lesser. (From Answers.Com.)

So, that would be somewhere between 10 and 330 million.  But since the one that HAS one is one of the minor gods, one would expect that the bigger number is the correct one.

ITEM: Sometimes, you just have communication breakdowns.  Here are some examples.

I might have went with "Georgia man" in the headline, but by the looks of the first line of the story- "Nobody likes a stinky beaver"- I don't think the reporter was caring about double entendres.  Truth of the story, the dude dumped bags (plural) of rotting beaver carcasses complete with maggots in the parking lot of a mortgage company which had been "harassing" his family.

Another example:


Parking meters for motorcycle-only spots in Rome recently got the above messages posted on them, to remind people to... er, not to move the sun.

"Sole" is an Italian word meaning both "only" and "sun," while "moto" translates to both "motorbike" and "motion."

So the translator (most likely "La Google Tradurre") went oh-fer-two in picking the right definition.  And while I doubt the messages stopped solar motion... well, they probably didn't stop cars parking in cycle spots, either.

And yet another- what is the first shape you think of when you think "gummis"?  Bears, right?  Not in China- or New Zealand:

NZ firm recalls gummy candies with penis shapes

New Zealand company Dutch Rusk recalled gummy candies imported from China after some bags were found to contain candies shaped like penises.

Jack Van de Geest, managing director of sales for the Dutch Rusk candy company in Nelson, said the firm started importing mixed gummy candies called Dragon Sweets from a Chinese company about six months ago and complaints of penis-shaped pieces started coming in about two weeks later.
"When first someone told us we thought they were joking, it can't be right," Van de Geest told Stuff. "But they said no, it's honestly true so they sent us a bag. Then another phone call came a couple of days later and we thought, 'what's going on?' and got everything sent back."
Van de Geest said about one in every 20 or 30 bags of Dragon Sweets contains at least one or two of the phallic gummies.

In China they consider the shape a symbol of fertility (don't laugh, you know what we say about green M&Ms) and thus it's no biggie to find a gummi weenie there.

And how about this one?  Laurie caught the politically correct Greg Shoup, weatherman on a major metropolitan news station, saying we will have a "Native American Summer" this weekend.  Seriously?

Sorry- but all you get googling "Indian Summer pc cartoons" are clothes ads...
ITEM:  And where would we be on MWN with out sex? (stuck with drunks and Floridians, from the looks of previous posts, sorry Barb!)

Pair porn stars with charity work and it'll turn heads. Make it interactive, and it'll raise more than eyebrows.
Stop!AIDS, a charity in Japan which raises awareness of HIV and AIDS, holds a yearly event that puts Japanese porn stars in touch with their fans. But it's not a standard meet-and-greet. In exchange for a donation, participants can give the actresses a little squeeze.
The name of the live-streamed event, which ran for 24 hours on Aug. 30, translates loosely to "Boob Aid." Needless to say, images from the event contain nudity.

Sorry, if you want pics here, you'll have to use the links available at the HuffPost strange news for September 9th.

The event was a success, and a good time apparently had by all:

Actress Rina Serina told the Tokyo Sports newspaper before the event: "I'm really looking forward to lots of people fondling my boobs. I never thought my boobs could contribute to society."
Fellow adult film star Iku Sakuragi added: "It's for charity. Squeeze them, donate money – let's be happy." (From the Daily Mirror)

ITEM:  More sex:

CHELSEA, England, Sept. 11 (UPI) -- A sex toy designed in 1893 as a medical tool to treat "female hysteria" sold for more than $2,600, over $1,000 more expected, the British auctioneer said.
Christie's Kensington auction house in Chelsea, England, said the metal and celluloid vibrator designed by Dr. Benjamin Boyd fetched a total of $2,641 when it was auctioned Sept. 3 as part of the auctioneer's "Out of the Ordinary" sale.
The sum was about $1,100 more than the item was expected to fetch, the auction house said.
The item was listed as an "electrical instrument for medical purposes."

The lead item in the sale was an 11th century Viking broadsword that was expected to fetch upwards of $125,000- and failed to sell.  The vibrator?  That sells.  Go figure.

ITEM:  Next up is a couple of items for the less discriminating humorist.  Example one:

BOULDER, Colo., Sept. 9 (UPI) -- A Colorado city is inviting dog owners to bring their canine companions to a park for the second annual "There's No Such Thing as the Poop Fairy" photo contest.
The City of Boulder's Open Space and Mountain Parks Department said dogs and their owners are being invited to come have their pictures snapped Wednesday at the Sanitas Valley Trail between 7:30 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. to promote the city's new dog waste composting program.
The city said its photographers will provide backdrops and canine costumes, but owners are also free to dress their own pooches in any outfits they choose.

The idea being, of course, to raise awareness of picking up after your pooch.  The best-dressed doggie gets a $50 gift certificate, and a suitable for framing portrait of your in-costume pet.

Next, a less glamorous story:

(Courtesy the Daily Mirror) A teacher who took a gun to primary school accidentally fired her weapon while on the toilet - leaving her with serious leg injuries.
Luckily, the bullet missed her body but then hit the toilet bowl smashing it into bits and ricocheting bullet fragments and pieces of porcelain into her thigh.
The incident occurred during the early morning time at Westbrook Elementary, in Taylorsville, Utah, before any classes started and no pupils where present in the building, police said.

Now I've heard of having horses shot out from under you, but...  

ITEM: Finally, the 2015 Guinness Book of World Records came out Thursday, and among the new items:

- a California man whose tongue was measured at 3.97 inches, breaking the old mark of 3.86 and leading to a search of his family tree for giraffes- or Gene Simmons;

- an Englishman with 12,463 pieces of James Bond memorabilia;

- a Dane who invented a 14 feet, 5 inch golf club- who proved it worked by hitting a ball nearly 550 yards;

- the world's smallest usable camping trailer at 7 ft 11 in long, 5 ft high, and 2 ft, 7 in wide;
- most curse words in a movie- The Wolf Of Wall Street, with at least 687;

- most Facebook likes on one post- a pic Vin Diesel put up of him and the late Paul Walker, with 6.8 million +;

- a Japanese girl with over 8,000 pieces of plastic food;

- and Alley the cat, who managed a leap of 6 feet.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sunday message- praying for the enemy

This is something we certainly have a lot of opportunity to do.  To pray for atheists, sinners, ISIS, the other political party, the rival at work.  For me, I have been praying at work for Chinese workers.  Why, you ask?  Well, because the fabric we get from China can be stretched, wrinkled, defect-ridden, with "defect flags" that mark one thing that doesn't even matter and ten yards later misses a run "as big as your butt" (I almost used that phrase on a log, but considered the reader of the log might think I meant his butt and not a metaphorical one).  So I thought- or God told me, I'm not exactly sure here- every time you want to call down the fires of communism upon they that make this fabric, why not pray for them instead?  I mean, after all they making about a twelfth of what we do, in more than likely crappy conditions, and as long as the machine is working, the commissar probably doesn't mind that it drops a big glob of oil on the fabric about 4 times a roll.

But when that glob of oil comes up, and they flag it- and then miss the smaller glob about 5 yards later where it soaked through- I say to God, "And You want me to pray for them, eh?" (Yes, see 1 Timothy 2:1-3)  And because of my attitude it becomes a chore.  Or because they chop the head off a journalist.  Or because they screwed me out of a commission I sweated over for hours.  See, it ain't always easy to get past our attitude to pray for the enemy.  So what is the proper attitude?

This morning is one of those mornings God said, "Follow along with the sermon in your Bible, there's something to see."  And the sermon took us to Psalms 71, where David is coming before God in his old age seeking help against the rebellion of his son Adonijah. And three things really stood out for me.  The first was actually at the end; the second in the middle; and the third was actually on the page before in Psalm 70- and they all led the same direction.

Psa 71:22  I will also praise thee with the psaltery, Even thy truth, O my God: Unto thee will I sing praises with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel. 
Psa 71:23  My lips shall shout for joy when I sing praises unto thee; And my soul, which thou hast redeemed. 
Psa 71:24  My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long; For they are put to shame, for they are confounded, that seek my hurt. 

Here we see how David prays about His enemies- by putting the focus on God and His righteousness.  It is hard to pray for someone who has wronged you- it is much easier to praise God, and ask Him to increase His glory by moving in their lives.  So instead of going to God asking Him to help someone you really aren't convinced you want helped, or aren't sufficiently inspired to pray for, bring them to God as an opportunity to increase His glory!  Surely you can't have a problem asking the Lord to magnify His name?

Psa 71:17  O God, thou hast taught me from my youth; And hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. 
Psa 71:18  Yea, even when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not, Until I have declared thy strength unto the next generation, Thy might to every one that is to come.

Here David reminds us of the Great Commission- to pass the praise of God to the next generation.  This is the true goal, not getting through a workday with no defects or even living through persecution.  Remembering the goal is the important thing- and if your prayers are heard and one near-sighted fabric worker whose mind is more on stopping off after work for a handful of rice to feed his wife and seven squawling kids (or is that a squawling wife and...) than the run on the fabric he's supposed to be watching is led to Christ, then that run was worth it.

Psa 70:4  Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee; And let such as love thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified. 

Remember, if you have your salvation, then you already have the Greatest Gift Of All.  Let all your prayers start with that thought, and you'll find that praying for anyone is much easier.

So, pray for your enemy.  Focus on God's glory, remember the goal, be grateful for what you possess through Christ, and it will be easier.  Even when the fabric has a break 41/2 yards into a 5-yard panel on an item marked, "Mega-Hot".  Or even when the blade is at your throat.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Behind on pictures

But I'll try to make it worthwhile...

I was taking Scrappy to the woods, watching leaves fall, thinking how much an autumn day it was...

And for the dozenth time in recent days, I began to consider the character of the trees.  The differences, the statements they make about their long lives.

Some of them don't seem to have those characteristics- they look like poles, straight up and down.  But that's because we're looking straight ahead instead of listening to Jack Horkheimer- "Keep looking up!"

Even the used to be's- like ancient fences, odd-placed boulders, trees with holes where branches were pruned- makes me wonder, "What was here before?"  One of the reasons I was once into Runelore is the sensitivity to the spirit in everything- even old fenceposts have a story.  Am I wrong to see this?

37 Then, as He was now drawing near the descent of the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works they had seen, 38 saying:
‘Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord!’[d]
Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”
39 And some of the Pharisees called to Him from the crowd, “Teacher, rebuke Your disciples.”
40 But He answered and said to them, “I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out.” (Luke 19)

And is the difference between a weed and beauty only location?

A cluster of berries isolated and nearly hidden and bits of drainage tile along the path both ask the same thing- What went before?

And if it is autumn, the trees don't hold the monopoly on color.

Along with the usual sights and sounds of a Saturday walk...

And the eventual realization of the irony in a man wearing an Oklahoma hoodie and Tennessee hat on a day when the Sooners and Vols play tonight...

And hey!  When I downloaded these, I saw I had some shots of the last trip to the hump'n'dump:

The brawl begins!

Lexy and Nova

Sir Humps-a-lot and Fin.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Time Machine week 21

Today is September 12, 1972- and Treasury Secretary George Schultz has just told IRS chair Johnnie M. Walters to "do nothing".  About what, you say?  Well, the day before, John Dean had come to Walters with a list of (depending on the source) between 490 to 575 people to "check up on"- the famous "enemies list."  This list included some big names- Burt Lancaster, Shirley MacLaine (I'll bet she saw that coming in the stars!) Paul Newman, Herb Alpert, Georgia O'Keefe, Hugh Hefner, makeup king Max Factor, future scandal boy Gary Hart, Pierre Salinger, and Gene Hackman.  It was later found that there was a much smaller friends list- seven names, that included John Wayne and (just to be on the safe side) Billy Graham.

"...and if you wanna get to heaven..."

Welcome to Time Machine for this week- a week in which we first heard one song you can't forget- Helen Reddy's I Am Woman- and one you may not remember- Austin Roberts' Something's Wrong With Me.  On today's show, the Top Top Ten of 1979; a look at the difference between #1s; numbers 4-7 of the best selling singles of all time- and one BIG announcement!  Don't just stand there, hop in!

Why don't we lead off this week with the latest of the "one-hit-wonders' next hits"!  We have staggered up to #12 on my list to a band called the Hondells.  You know them from Little Honda, a song penned by Brian Wilson and Mike Love.  They were a "fake band" at first- studio musicians thrown together with vocalist Chuck Giraud- whom Contemporary Christian fans know from his pioneering CC band Love Song and as the father of one of the members of ZoeGirl.  Glen Campbell was among the musicians in this pseudo-band, but as Little Honda climbed, a real band had to be assembled.  This band would go on (after Little Honda hit #9 in 1964) to have a second hit with a Loving Spoonful tune.  The success wasn't so great- #52 two years later- but once again I think it by far the better song:

How 'bout you?

The top 40 had 7 new members this week!  Arlo Guthrie chugges The City Of New Orleans up 10 spots to #40; Gallery followed up their big hit Nice To Be With You with the song at #39- I Believe In Music, up 6.  Rod Stewart moves ahead 14 spots to #37 with You Wear It Well.  He narrowly missed making a 4-way tie for the chart's biggest mover- a title eventually won this week by the latest by the Cornelius Bros and Sister Rose, Don't Ever Be Lonely (A Poor Little Fool Like Me), which went up 16 spots to #59.

Millie Jackson is next with her single My Man, A Sweet Man rising 5 to #36; then it's Uriah Heap with one of my favorite "classic rock" tunes, Easy Livin', up 9 to #34.  Donny Osmond was another one of those 14-notch climbers, landing at #33 with Why, a former #1 for Frankie Avalon.  But the high debut, up 13, belongs to the King- Elvis at #31 with Burning Love.

Thank you... thank you very much...

One of the things I noticed this week about our #1 coming up, is this is one of several songs that Cashbox put on top but not Billboard.  From the beginning of 1972 to this week, the two charts matched 22 times, while mis-matching 15 including this week.  So it made me curious about what the charts in cities around the country were saying- and five charts had 5 different #1s this week, none of them a match to CB or BB!  In LA, the top song was Three Dog Night's Black And White, with CB's numero uno nowhere in sight.  On WLS in Chicago, Brandy was on top (with the CB #1 at #2), while Windy City competitor WCFL had You Don't Mess Around With Jim (with the CB #1 at #9).  Detroit's CKLW had had the CB #1 peak at #8- a month and a half ago- and My Ding-A-Ling was at the top this week.  Finally in Pittsburgh, Argent's Hold Your Head Up was on top, and the CB #1 was at 17 and dropping.  Billboard had still another song at #1- the former CB top dog, Alone Again Naturally- and CB?  Stay tuned.  (Or, if you have a good memory, take a guess! After all, we have just eliminated half of this week's top ten!)


And now, the last Top Top Ten before we start the Top Ten Top Top Tens (Which will be henceforth referred to as the "5T top ten"- from the week of ... well, by golly, THIS WEEK in 1979:

10- Sail On, The Commodores.  When this was out, I liked the follow up, Still, better, but this one has more staying power.

9- Lonesome Loser, Little River Band.  I love LRB, but this song always makes me think of a diet commercial.

8- I'll Never Love This Way Again, Dionne Warwicke.  Good tune, not one of her best to me.

7- The Devil Went Down To Georgia, Charlie Daniels Band.  Fire on the mountain, run boys run!

6- Don't Bring Me Down, ELO.  Of all the great songs of theirs that I truly love THIS ONE was their biggest hit??  WTH is "Grooos"?

5- Lead Me On, Maxine Nightingale.  A pretty song.

4- Sad Eyes, Robert John.  This song has faded a bit for me over the years.  But you knew it was going to hit the top from first listen.  At least we did.

3- After The Love Is Gone, Earth Wind And Fire.  They were as good at ballads as they were at funk.

2- Good Times, Chic.  Never much cared for the disco kings back then, but at least I could listen to this one (unlike Le Freak).

Annnnd the top song that week....

1- My Sharona, The Knack.  After disco at the top 26 weeks out of the 32 that year so far, it was TIME for some rock and roll!

Next week, we begin the 5T top ten with the top top ten from 1971!


Our You Peaked list is four members long this week.  Nilsson's Coconut stopped at 12 last week; Sailcat's Motorcycle Mama parked at 19.  The Jacksons stopped at 15 with Looking Through The Windows; and The Staple Singers' This World topped out at #36.


Time now for the penultimate chapter of the biggest selling singles of all time!  Next week you'll get to see the top three- and two of them belong to one act!  But this week, we still have seven through four:

Baccara- Yes, Sir, I Can Boogie, 1977, 16 million.  To American ears, this may sound like the lamest disco song in history (at least that wasn't INTENDED to sound lame, like Dancin' Johnson).  And in Italy and New Zealand too, where it charted at #30 and #33, respectively (and didn't chart here.)  But eleven other nations put these two Spanish ladies at #1.

The Ink Spots, If I Didn't Care, 1939, 19 million.  Written by an up-and-coming songwriter named Jack Lawrence, he sent it in to a music publisher even though his friends all thought it stunk.  In another seven years, he'd write a song for the five year old daughter of his attorney, Linda- who would one day become Mrs. Paul McCartney.  This song, amazingly enough, was not among the Spots' 6 chart toppers, peaking at #2.

We Are The World, USA For Africa, 1985, 20 million.  Organized by Harry Belafonte, written by Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson (mostly Michael, says LaToya) seven weeks after the release of Band-Aid's Do They Know It's Christmas.  Many are the stories about the recording, for example:  Stevie Wonder greeting everyone at the studio door, threatening that non-singers would be driven home by himself and Ray Charles ("We just bumped into each other");  Prince getting on a high horse and not showing up (he was supposed to do a mini duet with Michael) and his spot being taken by- and thank God for it- Huey Lewis ("I was just a lucky sonofabitch"); but the best part is a video you can google if you so desire, where at Bob Dylan's request, Stevie helps him learn his part, as LaToya, Richie, Quincy Jones, and Bruce Springsteen lend him moral support.

Rock Around The Clock, Bill Haley and his Comets, 1954, 25 million.  I have told many stories about this song in the past, so let me just give you the new one on me.  This song charted five separate times in the UK- January 1955 (#17); November 1955 (#1); September 1956 (#5); 1968 (#20); and 1974 (#12)- the only non-Christmas song to pull that one off.


You ready for the big announcement?  Here goes:


January 2015!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Well, if nothing else, you have to admit that was big!)


Two new songs in the top ten, two fall out.  The droppers:  Goodbye To Love (7 to 13) and Happiest Girl In The Whole USA (8 to 16).

The toast of LA, Three Dog Night is up 3, notches... to #10 with Black And White.

Mac Davis ambles on into #9, up a pair with Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me.

Also up 2 to #8, Gary Glitter and Rock And Roll Pt 2.

The toast of half of Chicago, Jim Croce's You Don't Mess Around With Jim moves up (you guessed it) 2 spots to #7.

Slipping a spot to #6 is Pittsburgh's finest, Argent's Hold Your Head Up.

The tops of Chi-Town's other half (probably the north siders), Looking Glass falls from the top to #5 with Brandy.

Up 2 (...) to #4, the O'Jays with Back Stabbers.

Gilbert O'Sullivan slips a notch to #3 with Alone Again Naturally.  Don't cry, you still have Billboard.

The Hollies have the highest song without a #1 ranking- Long Cool Woman moves up (yes...) two to #2.

And that long awaited number one song on Cashbox....

Yep, same picture I used last time...
...Al Green with I'm Still In Love With You!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for tuning in, drop back next week, same time!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Spams and slams

As I may have mentioned before, this has not been a good time to find MWN stories.  Something about sinuses and lots of internet time don't seem to work well together.  I did get this one story off Epoch Times, about the latest giant dinosaur discovered in Argentina...

So, meet Dreadnoughtus, the 65-ton, 26-metre-long plant-eating behemoth from the latest Cretaceous – 84-66 million years ago – found in Argentina. It is named after the British battleship HMS Dreadnought, the first in a series of ships that sparked an arms race between Britain and Germany before and during WWI.

Now here's one for you to think about- just what makes this story MWN-worthy?  Answer in a little bit.

Here's a bit of irony- I recently got this spam comment on an old post:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Step into my time machine week 75... and mind the ...":

Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation;
many of us have created some nice practices and we are looking to exchange techniques with others, be sure to shoot me an email if interested.

Check out my site; Megapolis Hack 

Yeah, I have a spam issue AND YOU ARE IT!

Apparently Megapolis Hack is a game-cheat tool based on a Facebook page (and gee' thanks for that!).

Speaking of spam, Laurie has been inundated of late by spam calls, so when I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, I just assumed and hit the ignore button.  A half-hour later, Laurie got another one, so I looked it up.  Then I looked up mine.

It was the CU that holds our car loan, reminding me their payment is due.  OOOPS...


So you missed one day of work dept.:  Remember the long story about my machine a while back, in which it just suddenly decided to cut first and draw lines second?  This is a problem for many reasons, not the least of which is that if you cut first, drawing the line second moves the fabric.  Last time this happened, after I and our facilitator e-mailed the guy at corporate who knows how to fix such things SEVERAL times to nothing but excuses, until I went to our spanking new plant manager who swiftly received a "Yes, sir, right away, sir!" reply.  So our senior engineer (the word "engineer" should tell you where this story is headed) was SUPPOSED to write down what to do in case it ever happened again.

And, it happened again.  And instead of transferring his notes to "the black book that I use for my brain", he apparently transferred them to the nearest trash receptacle.  Thus, he had to call the guy at corporate again... this time, I was there to watch and write everything down.  I'm not going to trust his "paper brain" any further than I trust his organic one.

Not on his desk that I know of.  But should be.

Next, as I was cutting an older pattern, the machine suddenly stopped and asked to be reset.  So I reset and re-started.  This time it broke my blade when it stopped in the exact same place.  Change the blade, reset everything, start again.  BREAKS THE BRAND NEW BLADE AND STOPS.  Put in another new blade.  reset, re-start.  Stops in same place, but spares the poor blade.  Repeat one more time with same result.

Fine.  I'll just call the part a loss, move the fabric down, reboot the pattern from scratch.

Worked fine.  Nary another problem.


On the other side of the brain divide, Laurie texts me that the funny occasional screeching noise from our AC blower is getting louder and more obnoxious.  The other day, Scrappy went over to the intake looking for the puppy he thought was being ground up.  So Laurie called the complex.  "I figured we better do something before the motor seizes up or something."

Guess what?  The motor was about to seize up.

The guy said, "We have one we just re-conditioned back at the shop.  I'll be right back."  Laurie showed him to the door.

I said, "You should ask him for a job application while he's at it."


All right, so what was so funny about a dinosaur found in Argentina being named for a British Warship?

Oh, I don't know... perhaps the irony of naming anything after a British Warship in ARGENTINA....

Monday, September 8, 2014

Writing for the weekend

Well, like an idiot I decided to write a funny post about the weekend just past - but read the news first.  There are just so many morons I can take sometimes...

Two Delaware teens were arrested in the beating of a mentally disabled man after they showed up to police headquarters to complain about being harassed when their contact information was posted to social media, along with a video of the assault, authorities said Monday.
New Castle County Police arrested the 13- and 14-year-old boys, both of Newark, on Saturday. They were charged with offensive touching, assault of a vulnerable adult, and conspiracy. They were released on bonds of $2,500 after being arraigned.

Yes, that's right.  The idiots beat a man, got videoed doing it by someone who knew "something had to be done."  She posted the video, added their IDs and contact info, and THEY went to the police because SHE harassed them!  But rather than get into a long post of "Why are people like this nowdays?" let me give you the weekend rundown.  Sorry no pictures.. well, wait, here's one...

So we went to the bark park Friday just prior to the great deluge (PS to out of towners- we got a BIG rainstorm Friday night).  Nova was there, and another Dexter (not the Aussie mix, this one looks a lot like Mama Fox but bigger and darker), and a beagle named Fin or Vin, I didn't quite catch, a boxer or two, and a big chocolate dog that looked like a dobie mix that was either Ovie or Opie, something like that.  Anyway, the big attention here was Scrappy continually wanting to hump Fin.  And Nova, the young and budding policeman, breaking it up over and over.  Then assaulting one or the other of the beagles.  Ovie got into it with Dexter and made him yip, and everybody with a tail crowded around to see what happened.  Ovie got took home, and the boxers soon followed.  Then Nova's mom pointed to two approaching puppies.  "They like to hump, too,"  she said.  "This ought to be fun."

Sure enough, here came Brodie and Rocco- two Jack Russell/beagle mixes with the long torsos that suggested Dachshund somewhere in the family tree.  And Scrappy's karma being what it was, he swiftly started getting tag-teamed.  He would sit under the bench by me until one of them made him mad, and get attacked from the flank when he moved.  At one point, he chased one of them clear across the park under the doggie ramp, at which point, as he paused to see what his antagonist was doing, the other got him from behind!  Nova continued to break things up only to then attack either victim or attacker.  It was a great time, but Scrappy came home with a two-day limp.

So Saturday, with the sinus infection that was sneaking up on me all week starting to get closer, we tried to make a go of Grabill Country Fair.  For those of you from out of town, Grabill Days is one of the two must-see fall events (Johnny Appleseed being the other), set in a little crafty town in the middle of Amish territory.  Which reminds me, we saw an Amish (perhaps Mennonite) lady with a weed-eater on the way there.

And an Amish guy with a leaf-blower.

And another with a power mower.  Goat's must have been sick.

So anyway, we get there just as the parade was breaking up.  This meant that we would be parking a loooong way from town, by the side of the road.  As we walked past folding fold up chairs and those still too busy watching the crowd to abandon their parade spots, we discussed the pros and cons of living in Grabill at this time of year.

-you don't have to find a parking spot.
-everything's in walking distance.

-everythings on your front porch, in your yard, and won't go away.
-you can't get out to leave.

As Laurie began to muse on a comment of mine that they could easily turn "People of Wal-Mart" to "People of Grabill Days", I turned to another tangent and said, "I'd hate to be 9 months pregnant around here."

Laurie, still on the other thing, said, "Yes, you could make people pay to watch..."

Me, lighting up: "Yep!  'Woman having baby, 50 cents!'"

L:  "That's mot what I meant..."

Me:  "Just set her up in the living room, have people file past like a museum!  'Damnit! She's dilated 8 centimeters!  This line's so long, the kid'll be in college before we get in!' "

Unfortunately, we just weren't up for the junk food and mindless milling about, and we left.  Minutes later, a lady who was "just rolling while I looked in the rear view mirror" hit us in the butt.  No damage except to heart rates and underwear.  I kept quiet, not really wanting to hear her explanation of why you would look in the rearview at a stop while rolling.

Sunday, as the sinus infection picked up steam... we watched the ball games.  Saw my Dolphins smash Tom Brady and company, Antonio Brown make his "that'll cost me 25 K" kick, and...

...a little of the Cowboys game.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Sunday message= disruptive moments

This was actually the title of Dr Jeremiah's message (which I listened to Saturday at 4 AM), and a very good one.  He focused his message on I Corinthians 12 and Hebrews 12; but when it comes to moments like these, I have my own go-to place.  Moments like what?  C'mon, we all have them.  I have a friend who is having one with her husband right now; another with his health; others with life choices.I have a hand that is totally having one with typing this morning, but that's neither here nor there.  Point is, we all have them.  Look at Job.

Job certainly had one- he lost everything, with the exception of a wife he probably wished he could trade in.  The reaction of Job and his friends- and God to them- teach us the dynamics of these disruptive moments in our lives.

For you see, there are three possible spiritual reactions to these times.  One was evidenced by Job's friends, who were about as much comfort as his wife,  They said, "Surely this has happened due to sin in your life."  There you go, the disruption is totally YOUR fault.  You have done something, not done something, about to do or not do something, haven't said the proper magic prayer words.  God isn't leading you or teaching you, He's punishing you.  And as a result, you run around yelling at God, "WTH did I do?"

Now Job, he started out knowing he had not sinned; but unfortunately, the more his friends told him he must have, the more he said, "NO I DIDN'T!"  And that caused Him to wonder what God thought He was doing to Him in this catastrophe.  "Knock it off, God, I haven't done ANYTHING to deserve this"- AKA it's totally GOD'S fault.  He is just capriciously letting this happen, standing back and letting Satan have at you for no good reason.  And as a result, you run around yelling at God rather than listening to Him.

Which brings us to Elihu, who tries to explain to the stubborn Job and the misguided friends that God HAS His reasons for the disruptive moment.

Job 37:11  Yea, he ladeth the thick cloud with moisture; He spreadeth abroad the cloud of his lightning: 
Job 37:12  And it is turned round about by his guidance, That they may do whatsoever he commandeth them Upon the face of the habitable world, 
Job 37:13  Whether it be for correction, or for his land, Or for lovingkindness, that he cause it to come. 
Job 37:14  Hearken unto this, O Job: Stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God. 

See, Elihu is telling Job that God's reasons may be beyond him now, but they ARE there.  Whether it is for correction (as the friends would suggest), or to create a change on the earth and it's people, or just to give people the opportunity to show God's mercy to others, there is a reason.  Are you going to get it 100% of the time?  Hah, better to pray for once in a while.  But you'll have no chance if you are playing the blame game and not listening to what God might be saying.

But, that wasn't the end of the story, oh, no.  Because then God Himself had three points to make.  The first one was, "Have you done what I have done?"  God spends the next 71 verses asking Job that.  Where were you when I built all this?  In other words, don't assign motives you understand to God whom you do not.  Then, he goes on to tell Job, " Let's see you do what I CAN do:"

Job 40:10  Deck thyself now with excellency and dignity; And array thyself with honor and majesty. 
Job 40:11  Pour forth the overflowings of thine anger; And look upon every one that is proud, and abase him. 
Job 40:12  Look on every one that is proud, and bring him low; And tread down the wicked where they stand. 
Job 40:13  Hide them in the dust together; Bind their faces in the hidden place. 
Job 40:14  Then will I also confess of thee That thine own right hand can save thee. 

He then goes on to preach to Job about Behemoth and Leviathan (which I will not distract you here with my theories on), creatures that are beyond the harms of man.  Things Job had no hope of controlling of himself.

But then, God seems to shift in His discussion of Leviathan.  It is more than just a simple creature from 41:12 on:

Job 41:15  His strong scales are his pride, Shut up together as with a close seal. 
Job 41:16  One is so near to another, That no air can come between them. 
Job 41:17  They are joined one to another; They stick together, so that they cannot be sundered. 
Job 41:18  His sneezings flash forth light, And his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning. 
Job 41:19  Out of his mouth go burning torches, And sparks of fire leap forth. 
Job 41:20  Out of his nostrils a smoke goeth, As of a boiling pot and burning rushes. 
Job 41:21  His breath kindleth coals, And a flame goeth forth from his mouth. 
Job 41:22  In his neck abideth strength, And terror danceth before him. 

Fire breathing dragon, much?  And who else is known as a Dragon in the Bible?

Job 41:33  Upon earth there is not his like, That is made without fear. 
Job 41:34  He beholdeth everything that is high: He is king over all the sons of pride. 

See, God has, at verse 12, shifted into a description of Satan, our adversary.  And He makes clear to Job that, not only is he the antagonist of the story all along, but that Job- and we ourselves, without God- stand no chance against Him.

With this, God has shown us a fourth reason for trials that Elihu left out:  To bring us to God, that He might fight our battles for us.  It should not be lost on us that it took 42 chapters of Job defending himself to get him there... how stubborn will you be?

In epilogue, Dr Jeremiah made one very BIG point near the end of his sermon:  that perhaps our response to the disruptive moment should be to thank God, 

Heb 12:4  Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin: 
Heb 12:5  and ye have forgotten the exhortation which reasoneth with you as with sons, My son, regard not lightly the chastening of the Lord, Nor faint when thou art reproved of him; 
Heb 12:6  For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, And scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 
Heb 12:7  It is for chastening that ye endure; God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father chasteneth not? 
Heb 12:8  But if ye are without chastening, whereof all have been made partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 

because you, if you receive them, must surely be His son or daughter.