What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

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Friday, June 5, 2020

Time Machine co-ordinates VICXVLVI6276575



Today is June 5th, 1975- the day the Suez Canal was re-opened, 8 years to the day since the Six Day War closed it.  By this time, a convoy of 15 ships had been trapped in-between the two closed ends so long, they were basically covered in desert dust- and thus were known as "the Yellow Fleet".

You kinda gotta use your imagination on this one...
  Welcome to this week's Time Machine, where we'll...

Hi!

Uh, Ray, you're supposed to wait until I introduce you...

But I got somethin' to say about the Yellow Fleet...

Oh, uh, what's that?

Did somebody pee on 'em?

Ah... our guest this week is Ray Stevens, and I hope he'll allow me to get through the headlines here, which includes the debut of 2 brand new singles to the M10- both of them covers of a couple of my favorite songs, both with a famous guest act assisting them!  Also the 6D will give us the greatest hits of yet another writer you may not know...

I bet I know 'im!

I bet you do, but you know everyone, so...

No I don't.  Who're you?

All that and more coming up.  So let's kick things off by introducing this week's POTM, Ray Stevens!



Where?  Where?

So, Ray, one thing I am curious about- you have some real God-given singing talent...

Thank you very kindly!

So why all the novelty stuff?

Why not?  Besides, People will remember a good comedy song a lot longer than they would some of the so-called straight love songs.

And yet, I think Everything Is Beautiful and Misty are your best.

But in concert, they all wait for The Streak....

Sadly the world we live in...

I originally passed on Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head in 1969, so they gave it to B.J. Thomas.

Is that after Bob Dylan turned it down?  It was written for him...

But with a voice like that, you don't need silly lyrics, his voice is novelty enough!

So anyhow, here's what we do on this show...

I know what you do on this show...

Oh, good!  So then, you'll be ready to do the lead up on our Panel...

Yer whut?

You said, you knew what we do here...

I'm not even sure where I am....

Sigh... While I explain to Ray the workings of his part in the show, let's listen to this first debut.  True story- I was going to chart the a-side of this new single from The Explorer's Club- but then I saw what the b-side was.  One of my all time favorites, a song that I've cried to from Orpheus, Rose Colored Glass, and Hootie and the Blowfish.  With some help from the Barenaked Ladies' Steven Page...

Bare nekkid?  Is Ethel with with them?  YOU SHAMELESS HUSSY!!!

...here's the new song at #10...





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So this week, Ray, we had 20 contestants from 41 stations.  Do you think you can focus long enough to do the lead in?

Sure, it's not like I'm Jim Stafford or somthin'.  So one oddity is the fact we have 2 acts with 2 songs on the list!  Not so odd that Elton John was one of 'em, with Pinball Wizard one, and Philly Freedom the other, but how about Pilot getting a US vote for Magic, and a Australian vote for January!

Another is that hockey 'star'- actually, more of hockey goon- Dave 'the hammer' Schultz had a #1 vote from Philly for a dippy little lost love song called, appropriately enough, The Penalty Box.  For those not in the know, Dave spent just over 7% of his NHL career IN the penalty box, so....


Well done, buddy!  Now, the finalists are a light on votes bunch- one song got 6 votes, one five, and four others got three each...

Three whut?

Votes...

Well, I didn't vote fer 'em... leastways, I don't think I did...

No, Ray, the stations did.  Now, I'm going to give you the list of finalists... you think you could read them?

Why don't I sing 'em?  

Not in your contract, Ray, and Bellbottom is a stickler for the letter of the contract.

He does know he ain't real, right?

Yes, but in this context, neither are you, so it's okay!

Well, as long as that's the case, lemme have the list.

Choose from....

America with Sister Golden Hair at #3...
Freddy Fender with Before The Next Teardrop Falls at #1...
John Denver with Thank God I'm A Country Boy at #2...
Earth Wind and Fire with Shining Star at #9...
Ace and How Long at #4...
and The Captain and Tennille with Love Will Keep Us Together at #17 and flying up!

Jeez, I hope it's not the last one!  I love that song, but Toni is way too clingy...

Just like Ethel was befer that basket bawl game...

Before we go down THAT road, let's play the other debut, at #7.  Matthew Sweet, of Sick Of Myself fame, helps out Badfinger- yes, Badfinger, led by sole surviving member Joey Molland, in a great remake of arguably their best song- and definitely my favorite...





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So our 6D this week, at #6 without a Panel vote, was yet another fave of mine- Grand Funk Railroad with Bad Time.  It was on the lp All The Girls In The World Beware, which had just one song not written by the band, called Look At Granny Run Run, written lyrics by Jerry Ragavoy, and music by Mort Shuman.  Shuman had a slew of hits with the lyrics of the legendary Doc Pomus, and a few with others as well.  With all but one of these being Pomus/Shuman collaberations, here are the biggest hits of Mort Shuman!

11- Fabian, Hound Dog Man, #9 in 1959
10- Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas, Little Children, #7 in '64
9- This Magic Moment, Jay and the Americans, #6 in '68
8- Elvis, Little Sister, #5 in '61
7- Jimmy Clanton, Go Jimmy Go, #5 in '59
6- Dion and the Bellmonts, A Teenager In Love, #5 in '59
5- Elvis, Marie's The Name (His Latest Flame), #4 in '61
4- Terry Stafford, Suspicion, # 3 in '64
3- Andy Williams, Can't Get Used To Losing You, #2 in '63
2- Elvis, Surrender, #1 in '61

And his biggest?



#1 in 1960!


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Hey, what the heck is that?

That means it's time for our crazy covers segment, where Laurie and I give judgment on a cover of a big hit we never heard before!  And this week, debuting at #97 on the Cashbox chart, was Blood Sweat and Tears with a cover of the Beatles' Got To Get You Into My Life!  It would get to #62 on the Billboards charts.

Laurie:  It was okay... sideways for me...

Chris:  This might be the widest difference we've ever had.  I could listen to David Clayton Thomas sing the phone book (remember those?)!  Big big 2 thumbs up and highest recommendation!

I can sing a phone book, too!  Listen:  Triple A... motor CLUBBBBBB!!! 555-

Thank you, Ray, we'll keep that act in mind for the Christmas Party, okay!  Now let's look at the Stat Pack for this week.  The charts across the English speaking domains saw Windsor Davies and Don Estelle with a rather odd cover of Whispering Grass at #1 in the UK... South Africa was topped, believe it or not, by Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn with As Soon As I Hang Up The Phone... as we mentioned, Pilot's January was tops in Australia (and heavily underrated here)... and Canada saluted local boys BTO with Hey You!

And here, the big mover was yet another all timer for me- this week's CB chart might be the all time best- with Wings going up 32 spots, 69 to 37, with Listen What The Man Said.

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So, what's next?

Well, Ray, it's time for me to give the rest of my M10 chart for this week.

C'n I help?

Uh, well...

Oh, wait!  C'n I get a donut?

Yeah, why don't you go do that!  Just follow the nice bald guy over there...

N:  The name is Nardole.  N-A-R...

And it's been really nice meeting you!

You too, Buddy?  Say, who ARE you?

Ray, donuts, bald guy.  FOCUS.

Oh, yeah... Say, Noodle, have you seen Ethel?  She was wearing... well, that might not help...

Anyway, here's the rest of the M10...

The Rolling Stones drop 6 to 9 with Living In A Ghost Town.
Maybird inches up one more to 8 with Fried Dead Moth.
8 weeks on the chart for Maddie and Tae's I Don't Need To Know, back down 1 to 6.
The Jayhawks, who early on did a cover of Bad Time I'll have to look into, move 5 to 5 with This Forgotten Town.
Sass Jordan retreats 2 to 4 with High Road Easy.
Holding at 3, Deradoorian's former #1, Monk's Robes.
Shooting up from 8 to 2, the Shacks with Smile Now Cry Later.

And a second week at the top for...



...the Pretenders and You Can't Hurt A Fool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Panel picks?

The four who got 7.3% were Freddy Fender, John Denver, EW and F, and Ace.

At 12.2%- thank you, Lord- were the Captain and Tennille.

Which means the winner, with 14.6%, is.....




America and Sister Golden Hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Another all timer for me!

So tune in next week, where we'll have some, most, or all of America, in the spirit of 1976!


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